on the whole i think your approach of not being too dogmatic, is correct. i believe The Buddha himself, advised his disciples to accept whatever food was offered to them in good faith; and not impose rigid preferences on the giver - although, i think it is acceptable for monks to forewarn meal donors, to refrain from proffering flesh.

my approach is to usually warn my host beforehand; and even if there is no clear vegetarian food, to stick to the least obnoxious (from a vege viewpoint) dishes on the menu. e.g.: dairy, or eggs - if available; the sauce, or gravy, with the starch - as opposed to the actual flesh foods; etc..

however, sometimes one is placed in a position, where it is impossible to refuse - without insulting someone. a case in point was my Teacher. we were quite close & he would often invite me home for meals - which, his wife having passed away, he would cook himself, with much care & attention. though a Buddhist himself, he ate meat; but knew i was a strict vegetarian. however, out of regard, and from his knowledge of the ancient Chinese health traditions, he would sometimes feel that i was peaky & needed my Chi to be boosted with animal protein. so, he would secretly spike his famous 'chop suey' soup, with shrimp & chopped up animal matter & forms of chicken & other fat, etc.. when he served up the meal, from the smell and the fat & the floating bits of goo, i would immediately discern the presence of meat. the very first time - i asked him if the dish contained any flesh. with a straight face, he denied it - tho' both he & i knew perfectly well, that it was reeking of dead animal. out of respect & affection, i never called him on it, and just swallowed the gunk - with straight face & the full use of all available will-power to refrain from puking - whenever it was served up; which was on very rare occasions, to be sure.

Thanks for sharing.

Interesting note, I have a coworker who grew up in China and he too seems to struggle with the idea of vegetarianism. He makes these wonderful homemade dumplings but can't seem to bring himself to not include meat or at least egg in them. I try to tell him I've had dumplings with just vegetables there were very good. He just can't do it and he offers them to me, "Just a little bit of shrimp."

He made one batch especially for me and could not stop himself from including egg. I'm not very strict about dairy anyway and so had them and enjoyed them.

His continued inability to get hold of the idea of not eating meat is a source of laughter for both of us and the others on our team.

.... when we get to the point where we 99ers are finally forced to eat the rich, whether -- since their lifestyle is basically that of the pampered, prize-winning vegetable marrows, which P. G. Wodehouse describes so finely in his 'Blandings Castle' novels -- we continue to maintain our vegetarian status in the Akashic record. but then, i figure, those masters of Zen cuisine, the French, are correct. everything tastes like chicken, if you add enough wine to the mix.

(ignore all that; i'm typing from the bottom of a bottle of Alize' & it still makes no sense to me whatsoever, either).

[font color="navy" face="Verdana"]Not vegan, because I still eat cheese, eggs occasionally, and sometimes even fish (though rarely). When it comes to being an omnivore's vegetarian guest, I've handled different situations individually.

If there's plenty to eat other than the meat served, I've simply skipped the meat.

If there's meat as an added ingredient in something else (like spaghetti sauce), I've eaten what was served and not made a big deal out of it.

I heard a story one time about a man who was given some kind of award by his company at a luncheon in his honor. The organizers knew he was vegan and went to great pains to have the chef prepare a vegan meal for him. When the meal was presented, he asked if it had been cooked on the same grill that cooked meat, and when told it was (but the grill had been scraped clean), he rejected it and refused to eat it. To me, that was beyond rude and ungrateful.

Courtesy to one's hosts, especially when they've made efforts to accommodate vegetarian or vegan guests, comes before the technicalities of what is served.

I know that traditionally Monks eat what ever is given to them, be it veggie or meat. Were not Monks though (assuming).

Usually if I have been invited to dinner I let them know (granted I have not had to do this in years as most my friends and family know already). I have on occasion picked out the meat out of desperation. I won't eat the meat though as it literally make my stomach ill (I have not had meat in almost 20 years, I had a gravy with beef stock in it, unknown to me at the time, about 8 years ago that made me sick for a whole day). I have explained to people that I just can't eat it, not to be offended, its just the way it is.

I vacillate on giving up fish too, I have it about twice a month.

Perhaps you are describing something more serious. If you mean that after going without meat for so long it seems your digestive system doesn't react well now when you do have meat I've experienced that myself.

I'm not vegan I do eat dairy but not often. I will buy some yogurt about once a month to have with my granola and I sometimes find that after weeks of no diary that first day of a breakfast with yogurt my stomach feels, maybe not sick but certainly not settled.

When my husband and I first went vegetarian we tried to not make a big deal of it when we were guests. We informed people upon invitation, but eventually we grew so used to eating without meat that it literally made us ill. Unfortunately it was the runs. And one tale from our family is a "vegetable" soup my sister served for lunch. It was in a beef broth. Our drive home from DE to NH saw the inside of every truck stop, gas station, and restaurant bathroom for one of us. Since then, we just eat what we can or drink lots of water. However, now our family and friends are very good at making sure at least one dish is ok.

Often we offer to bring or provide something. When our children were small we would all snack before hand and take snacks for on the way home. My girls still do that if they are going on say a school trip and aren't sure where they will have to stop for lunch. Occasionally they have had to order a deli sandwich and then pick off all the turkey, etc.

But it is manageable. Recently at a conference for work I had selected a cup of tomato soup, bread and built a salad at a buffet. My boss had also selected the soup. She tasted hers, leaned over and said, "I think it might have bacon in it." She was right. She ate my cup of soup. But mostly people are understanding and helpful.

At work is the hardest isn't it? Going out to lunch or finding something from an ordered in lunch during a meeting or conference that goes over the lunch or dinner hour.

I teach young children and they encourage us to eat with the children for family style dining, teaching manners, etc. We have a large center and our children are from many different ethnic backgrounds. So our cook is required to provide an optional vegetarian choice. Its usually something like broccoli and rice rather than broccoli, chicken, and rice, or a cheese sandwich rather than ham and cheese, but its there.

The problem would be if I were vegan. A lot of cheese is used to replace the meat. Plus I don't like to eat so much cheese, its fatty, high in salt, etc. (Although my little sin is that I love the stuff) Some days I just nibble on something with the kids or just eat the vegetables or fruit and then grab something over break. Luckily I live close and walk home for break.

The good thing is that it provides an opportunity to talk with the children about accepting differences, nutrition, and choices in life.

thanks to Steven Colbert, for shining a light on the roaches.

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/412740/april-17-2012/thought-for-food---bug-food-coloring--hot-dog-stuffed-crust---drugged-poultry


‎".... It takes about 70,000 insects to make one pound of cochineal dye ...."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cochineal
Cochineal .... The water-soluble form is used in alcoholic drinks .... can be found in meat, sausages, processed poultry products (meat products cannot be colored in the United States unless they are labeled as such), surimi, marinades, alcoholic drinks, bakery products and toppings, cookies, desserts, icings, pie fillings, jams, preserves, gelatin desserts, juice beverages, varieties of cheddar cheese and other dairy products, sauces, and sweets. .... Cochineal extract .... (provides) the coloring of "Strawberries & Creme Frappuccino."

of our inability to control the world.

I actually never had a problem eating insects, before deciding to follow a vegetarian diet, I ate candies made with insects not often but probably a couple, few times a year plus a few - well I guess you'd say 'savory' dishes or raw.

And I actually had pangs of regret watching the kids eat the scorpion and meal worm lollipops I put in their stockings (Yes I'm that kind of uncle, I could not deprive them of the tradition due to my choice).

And when I learned about this die business, I read an article about it a couple months ago, I really felt let down, discouraged and annoyed.

as a kid, my Dad was mostly posted in jungle zones. we would hang out with the old tribes-people (who, incidentally, were from the same ethnic stream as the Indian Nagas & the Native Australians); they would share their food -- and it would have been insulting to refuse. the jungle fare, tho' including bugs, reptiles & most varieties of the local fauna, did not bother my omnivorous sensibilities of the time.

now, after years of taking the vege detour, it is rather off-putting to uncover this stuff. not to mention the feelings of betrayal -- whenever the quality of the food that's shoved down our gullets by these con artists, is brought into the open; and appears to be turning into a constant refrain in our lives.