Analogy to election, Russian involvement, and Republicans

You come home late in the day after your landscape company installed new sod, and the yard doesn’t look like what you’d expected.

A quick glance as you pull into the driveway leads your eye to a front window - your home office - blinds drawn that had been closed for months. Further, the second you step out of your car, your neighbor rushes over in a panic, telling you he saw the crew slip inside your house through a window, and come out with things they didn’t enter with.

He states he called the police, they did find signs of intrusion, and suggested asap to check your house for anything missing.

Just then, the owner of the landscaping company pulls up, and goes into an immediate flame-out about how ridiculous it was to call the police, calling them incompetent liars - his breath laced with alcohol.

You recall how, during the sales call, he’d joked about checking your fridge for beer, and seemed quite curious as to what you do.

Continuing his diatribe, your landscaper insists that you show him evidence of any theft or illegal entry before you walk inside the house. “You can’t!” he says, “so there’s no reason to look inside. Wanna go grab a bite?”

You consider his request, jump in his truck, and head for Hardees.

The strange sod. The blinds. Your neighbor. The police. The alcohol. His crazed denial. His obsession with you not going inside to check for belongings missing.

Never mind any of that – what’s important to you is that your yard looks different, a welcomed change - and perhaps he'd do the backyard for the same price.

Oh, and you really like french fries.