While historically men have caused — like — all the violence, they have also had, like, all the power. It’s a studied thing that having more power leads to having less empathy for other people. It’s possible that many of the supposedly innate differences between the sexes have stemmed from a power differential. The amount of crime committed by young women has been on the rise since the 80s (aka, after the second wave feminism of the 70s.) There are many factors that could account for that, so I don’t want to imply a causal relationship there, but… something to think about.

However, it is possible men are just wired to be more violent than women. I’m willing to entertain that.
But if that’s true, they should be extra double going to yoga classes. Why is the less violent gender the one learning all the emotional self regulation?

Because women are expected to regulate the emotions of men as well as themselves. They have to sharpen their emotional regulation skillz because they’ll be regulating for two even when they’re not pregnant. This has been a thing that’s starting to get noticed in feminist circles; the concept of unpaid emotional labor that women are expected to supply. This takes many forms (and I’ve written about this before) and at its most benign looks like listening, support and empathy. However, as it becomes more noxious, women are expected to read the emotions men and proactively protect them from their own negative emotions.

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Anyhow — men who don’t understand their entire emotional range are prone to anger because they can’t meet their own needs. So, their needs go unmet, and a natural response to an unmet need is anger. Much like how you get a flash of anger when you stub your toe, or when you go to cook lunch and your stove won’t turn on. If you are tired, and want to go bed, but something stops you from going to bed (say, work) you might get angry. However, for a lot of men, I think, this anger comes from their own inability to understand what they need. So, it will be like, they’re tired, but don’t understand that they’re tired, so don’t go to sleep. Then, in an emotionally depleted state, they’re highly prone to small triggers (like, the phone rings and they get pissed off.)

And, women will manage this. But, it sucks. It fucking suckkks.