(and I love your name)

It IS infuriating that men do this to us ALL THE TIME and that our significant others in many cases just don't seem to think it's such a big deal. Why do men do this to us? I wish there was a way it could be stopped. I've been a victim of the "stare", the "lewd comments" and the "come ons" practically all my life. Especially aggravating is that I seem to be on the receiving end of those annoying old men who look at me and say "SMILE!" I want to punch them! Leave me alone to walk along lost in my own thoughts!

Then you hear men say "You should be flattered"! They have GOT to be kidding, right???

About how white people stare at black people. I have actually seen this many times, too. It embarrasses me as a white person. It's so rude. I swear, manners and respect just seems to have vanished in our society any more.

I hear ya and been there. I really don't think you can be a girl/woman and have this not happen and it is completely infuriating. Unfortunately in our patriarchal society, men think they are entitled and women's existence is purely to be consumed by mainly white hetero men, but men in general.

Referenced in Forna's essay, is another essay that I remember reading in one of my Women's studies classes in college, “Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema” – by Laura Mulvey, she takes a psychoanalytical look at how the unconsciousness of patriarchal society has structured film form -- men being "active" (lookers) and women being "passive" (to be seen and not heard). It changed my film/tv viewing experience and how we are always taught (even unconsciously) to identify with specifically the white male hetero experience (always told from his perspective).

The thing that I find heartening is that women are finally finding their voice to express their own narratives and that can have a transformational affect on society for the good, at least I hope.