As are men. Every time a boy is denied playing with dolls, he is being conditioned that he should not want to do typical girl things. Every time a girl a comment on her looks rather than on her accomplishments, she is taught that for women, how they look is more important than what they do.

For the most part, equality has been about letting women do what has traditionally been the purview of men. It has been an inherently lop-sided affair, as men, when they could no longer contain women in their "sphere" begrudgingly let women enter the men's "sphere". However, we will not achieve true equality until what has been typical woman's business is as valued as what has been typical men's business. Taking care of kids, nurturing, cooking, housework, etc - we still teach girls that they are "better" at certain things than boys. Boys "can't read body language as well" - and then we ignore that it is because they have not had to learn to read body language like girls, because there are far less consequences for them if they ignore or misunderstand body language. "Boys are less empathetic than girls" - and then we ignore that girls are taught that aren't proper girls if they do not care about other, while boys are cheered if they don't care what others think.

Of course men have defined what is and is not rational - those with power are the ones who set things up, and of course they stack the deck in their favor. We see that with all subaltern groups, not just women.

from our true self, to conform to society.

i have literally had arguments with men, that i MUST be emotional in sex. because i am a woman. biology said so. literally insist, demand, that i own that. i might of thought that is what i was suppose to be as a woman, since from my first breath, i was created as that in all ways. and still. it never jived. regardless of me being very very clear, (not to mention bringing an intellectual argument, that means prostitutes MUST be emotionally connected with every john? really?) that sex has no connection to relationship. it is sex. what a body does.

yet. i am told, repeatedly, i am NOT allowed to be that.

same with romance. not a romantic bone in me. eeeew. clueless. meh.... yet mother, middle brother and hubby are.

i can go on and on.

emotiona, non... pragmatic, non.... logical, fuzzy.... these are not gender characteristics. we give caricatures for people to live.

purposeful attempts to be more so, at least when such terms are defined by the patriarchy.

imo the whole concept is highly subjective, esp in discussing gender.

her ideas on romantic love are interesting tho. I'd interject that the problem with the concept is not that men are not capable of love, but that they don't see women as human beings.