My brother...
My brother was my biggest comfort after my assault. Strange as it may sound, it was my brother.
We didn't talk about it at all back then. He was just there. He would come and sit next to me when I was upset, just sit and hold my hand. We wouldn't talk or wouldn't try and tell me it would be ok, he was just there.
He would show as school let out and pick me and take me to the movies or to the mall. He was trying to keep my mind occupied, I guess. I think I would have had a much harder time if I didn't have him. I'm so grateful that I had/have him.
I had girlfriends that I was with all the time, but the person that helped me the most, made me feel the safest was my brother. I don't mean safe as in no one would hurt me again--well there was that--I mean safe in I didn't need to explain how I was feeling, it was ok to just sit and be quiet with myself. I was ok. He did that for me.
We're only 14 months apart so we've always been very close, but after that, everything changed.
Helen Reddy
(998 posts)angstlessk
(11,862 posts)When I was raped my mother told me 'get into the shower and wash that filth off your body'
I am glad you had your brother. I am jealous
one_voice
(20,043 posts)I hope that eventually you had someone that did care and help? We'll be here for you now if you need. No one should have to hear that, I'm so, so sorry.
I was very lucky I had my brother but I also had the rest of my family as well.
As wonderful as my grandmother was and as much as I love(d) her I could see her reacting in a similar way. She would have thought it was ok to just clean up and move on. When we'd discovered my niece was molested she said 'good folks didn't talk about things like that'. I was floored and had to explain to her why we most certainly did have to talk about it.
Just a note, my niece was not molested my brother but by a relative of her mothers--my brother and her were not married.
MichiganVote
(21,086 posts)LadyHawkAZ
(6,199 posts)I grabbed my 8 month old baby, got in the car and went to my boyfriend's house in the middle of the night, woke him up, and told him what had happened. He got me calmed down, came back home with me and stayed at my house for the next couple of days.
When my ex-husband the rapist showed back up, my 6'2" biker boyfriend stepped outside with him and they had a little talk. I don't know what was said. I don't know if anything happened later. I do know my ex packed up later that week and left the state in a big hurry. I never heard from him again.
We never discussed it after that, and that was the only person who knew. Even my roommate never knew. I didn't bother filing charges. Dealt with the effects on my own; I tend to internalize things and don't like discussing them until I have them straight in my own mind, by which time counseling is pretty much pointless.
I'm glad for your sake that someone had your back through it all.
angstlessk
(11,862 posts)do you not worry he will come back? Is he in jail?
LadyHawkAZ
(6,199 posts)He's several states away and hasn't tried to contact me. I don't worry about him.
FedUpWithIt All
(4,442 posts)And that he had you.
Safe, loving relationships mean so much.
Sissyk
(12,665 posts)This makes me miss my brother so so much!
I understand you completely!
In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)I'm sorry that you were assaulted.