I wish you well on your side of that journey… mine never ceases to amaze me

Does take a bit of effort and mental stamina, I documented for over a year and now they’re starting to claim victimhood because I wasn’t passive about finding contradictions. I take that as a good sign…

Our system now is completely different from what it was in 2012, and 2008, 2007, 2001… 1999/2000.

I lost my anonymity due to it being forced. There is no way to undo that now, but de-anonymizing me was not something I take lightly and I am not afraid of bringing things as public as necessary to put an end to this and force the conversation into the public, as corrupt as some of the modern forums are.

Funnily enough, I was at a bar the other week during a rare visit out for Pride and someone forcibly downloaded Pokémon Go onto my phone without my knowledge or consent… I suppose to let me know they’re nearby and fully capable of remote control of the networks, for now. They will be found out.

Thank you for offering your words of support and encouragement.

It’s nauseating. I have nausea for medical reasons as well but that’s not the point. I’ve seen it all my life. I’m not a woman but as a small guy and an easily preyed upon one I’ve had an insane amount of predators target me. They are so consistently broken I don’t even know where to start. I don’t actually advocate for wanton mass-tranquilizing (See Firefly and Serenity…) since I try to adhere to scientific principles and take each individual as they are… but there are so many weaseling their way into places they don’t belong. A lot of them don’t even know how to bond, they just turn into flocks of flying monkeys. I’ve sometimes been called out for mocking it instead of simply denouncing it but honestly neither approach actually works, they’re broken and keep breaking other systems and new generations ad nauseum. I’ve started working with someone to talk about the stress of it and set new goals. Leaving is an option… staying has cost me in a lot of ways.

The global deregulation paired with coercion is not an accident, it’s the precursor to, basically, the new phase of the Nazi movement. With an increase in population comes an increase in potential recruits and people to beat down and deprive. The authoritarian communists aren’t any better. So, yeah, definitely standing my ground. Much like in WW2, sometimes they only respond to being taken out of power. There are more atrocities to uncover from the internet era’s fog of war, and things are not always as they seem when you don’t have a bird’s eye view. Old/bad compromises and radicalism of many varieties are a lifelong struggle we’re going to have to deal with.

I agree it’s nothing unique to one party or country… working on making peace with it being a natural occurrence and figuring out a plan to relocate somewhere more private away from this toxic crowd. There just isn’t much else to do besides making reports, gathering evidence when possible, and being a ‘squeaky wheel’ if necessary.

I agree with a lot of what you say. My situation is slightly different, I actually enjoy being around people and sometimes certain crowds incognito, on the other hand groups have intentionally encroached into my life and personal spaces in very invasive ways making it nearly impossible to live while being fishbowled.

-sensitive to repeat stimuli. But I am in the same position. My methodology exposed the stimuli sources as needed and I rolled that back upon completion. I won’t say it’s ’all good’ (as you say, that would be bullshitting myself and you etc), because technology is leveraging the worst aspects of humanity. But it is a good choice to follow your gut feeling if withdrawing from some social zones reduces exposure to toxicity. They’ll always exist in some way or another. Unless you have specific people you want to stay in touch with or have to get through a few professional steps to tie up loose ends there’s really no harm in moving on to a different area.

I am filing allegations of misconduct, malpractice, sexual and other harassment wrt most of what I have seen at all outside the routine between Dec 2012 and the present in India.

I am also filing allegations of both psychiatric malpractice and misconduct in human subject research wrt the period from 2000-2014, where applicable in the US.

I have no quarrels with the three labs I worked in, nor most of my doctors.

But the rest is deeply misogynistic, predatory and parasitic.

But I will proceed more neatly from here on out.

A serious complaint can be neatly organized, minimalistic and elegant.

If in addition to one’s usual workload, a complaint falls to one’s lot, one might as well go about it in an organized way.

It always angered me to have a repellent, encroaching, parasitic technology sucking away one’s life.

While no part of this will have any medical or academic utility, I am easier in my mind having decided how to proceed.

Last edited Thu Apr 30, 2026, 10:32 AM - Edit history (1)

I get why my behaviors have been so erratic.

I had 33 years of a fairly pleasant and uneventful life (22 years in India, then 11 in the US). Yeah there was a scammy EECS dept that took 25-35 k from one, but didn’t bother with any guidance or involvement. A stark difference from my first postdoc mentor who invested a lot of time and effort in mentoring all of us.

Yeah there are creeps out there, but they never had any power over me nor control. I had a happy childhood and home. My first two labs were cool. My ex and I split up, but we remain close friends to this day. I cannot remember a time he was anything but completely supportive. My best friend, like my ex, is family.

And then I went to this hell in Si Valley. It really was a hell and so I came back to India. And even at the hell, my direct mentor was nice. He was a new parent and not tenured. And I was ..not a good fit for that place. He was a decent man though his school’s psychiatry dept is just vile.

But that place was built by and full of too many of the types of people who should just be avoided. And his being decent was inadequate given that both the city and the school violated common sense norms re IRB protocols and informed consent.

And a decent enough network, that is still not very politically savvy about what they are in, was not for me.

After that things just kept getting worse and my mental state started to deteriorate.

I used to watch Ex-Machina and feel sympathetic towards Domnhall Gleeson’s character while also thinking “Two weeks? Wait till you are stuck in shitty experiments conducted by completely brainless morons for over a decade.”

That was the part that embittered me the most. That these were not people who are anything like say Prof Steve Chu. As an example of the more typical strict academic everyone fears the way normal students and postdocs fear normal scientists, who are scary but not depressing like some sort of creep of that V.S. Ramachandran, Alex Pentland type..

This awful sleazy, dull, “charismatic” huckster who writes awful airport bestsellers that horrible people read.

It was incomprehensible. I honestly couldn’t tell what happened to science and medicine as I knew it and where this brainless creep type rather than the routine dull - I mean bright, strict etc, but not spectacular and kind of embarrassing.

Like I can’t see anyone normal wanting to be associated with any of these people or those guys. Science isn’t a monolith and by my estimate except as a freakshow no one would want to be near Milgram, Zimbardo.

Those guys are douchebags who are written about in tabloids and near the movie industry.

I get now why people at those schools are so uptight, tense etc. They work adjacent to the kinds of people most normal scientists - well okay anyone I would know - kinda tacky. Who knows the kinds of people who want to be on tv and write rubbishy bestsellers? Douchebags that is who. It was terrifyingly tacky and they don’t even see themselves as on the continuum which Trump and Epstein lie on.

A lot of the better people whose professions by necessity involve a public facing role don’t really enjoy that.

That other type - They are not people any sane scientist would want to have a mental breakdown near.

I had no mental illness. But I had this cognitive dissonance that comes from 33 years of learning that was positive in conflict with these new creepy experiences and for the first time the worst kinds of humans having power over one’s life.

Now I am returning to normal and reminded of how alien trauma, depression etc are for me. I have never been solipsistic and ever had the view that the world centres around me and so being aware of the state of the world, I was impersonally glum about the state of earth, factory farming etc. But this is different from some morons annoying one specifically.

And the thing about the effect the creeps have on one - it actually works to help those jerks/these creeps. It is why they aggressively noise pollute and do all these retaliatory and harassing things.

The more emotional or stressed you get, the less likely it is that you can be as coherent a complainant and get neutral parties to start to believe you.

And I am only now starting to get it. The “services” inside this corrupt, parasitic fraud are worthless.

But I am recovering because clearly it was not me and I was not mentally ill.

I think I have a much better shot of taking on these complaints as my old self.

Simply put I think a lot of these men, tech people etc are unfit to work with or around women without strict supervision of the sane type.

I don’t consider these guys even marginally competent based on all this. And the whole thing - I will be filing misconduct, malpractice, exploitation and harassment allegations.
But it has to be done professionally.

As a start, along with this paper I am wrapping up, I will slowly post a cohesive narrative on DU which I have found an invaluable tool since I trust EarlG/elad and am grateful that MIRT keeps trolls out.

This has really helped me.

There was never even a sane way to file complaints and I am not going to go and post on Twitter or Facebook or any of those creep owned places.

When I was looking at stories of the Epstein survivors I noticed how..well I certainly was moved. Most of those young women lead such hard lives.

Predatory men need strict oversight especially at a time like this.

In addition to the work people like Yasha Levine or Chris Ketcham do to take on the challenges of these times, it also is uphill bringing back women’s rights over allowing corrupt and creepy tech people just make all these changes and grab space and bring their tacky, creepy worlds into one’s home or street.

Strict harassment laws (which include the types of women I have seen driving down my street - the types of women who would associate with those men) are essential to end this. No free lunch for tech or the types of “scientists” and “doctors” who work with them.

It cannot separate out along lines of the spaces the creepy, corrupt and regressive and the civilized. So no more of this making and building without any permits, any oversight and what has happened must result in charges wherever necessary.



Street misogynist log.
Unambiguous harasser: 7:59 pm, April 30, 2026
Creep on bike with silencer off
I hope this entire crowd is arrested some day along with those who let this go on

(First para recycled from a response to DUer irisblue; taking things less at facevalue with DU. I usually try to ignore any information that the types of people I have met since 2012 transmit, as I don’t want some sort of unsaid sense that there is some of participation from my side. But this EarlG/elad’s forum and I trust EarlG and elad and no human is error proof, but that’s actual human trust. People make mistakes. I would not blame anyone who made a mistake in good faith. I already pay for services from people whose services I use etc. The working parts of the state are a credit to society -I have not seen those in a long time outside the routine; I trust a subset of the scientific and medical community). Anyway..

I was looking in grim amusement at the traffic on my street here in India. Some of it is probably routine traffic. Anyway it made me think of the Black Mirror episdode “Crocodile”. It is a metaphor for the ongoing goings and I have mixed feelings about metaphors. Still..

In this world routine traffic on this street would have to fit the following strict criterion: 1) They drove down this street with absolutely NO awareness that this street is in any way different from any other street they drive down in this city and they were not diverted here thanks to the types of urban planning projects etc that have proliferated here and are not part of a probe or test etc (hence the reference to Crocodile); and 2) it is routine traffic tied to deliveries of routine goods and services to this street

For the rest, Black Mirror’s Crocodile applies to all parties involved in this.
The impact on this location and the humans here make me think of a metaphorical wound where rather than: 1) allow natural healing processes of the human body or 2) assist healing with modern medicine, a quack driving an automated tractor for a factory farm is sent in who attaches leeches to the wound and then rapes the victim for good measure. Those are all metaphors and not like various actual physical rapes. I have been a little careless about language myself and that is not ideal as I myself object to flimsy metaphors. But sometimes as a one-off an explicit simile like that can work.

My brain broke badly in the Dec of 2011 as a result of these parasitic and ill-conceived experiments and it has been a lot worse with every passing year since I came back.
But now I am sure I am recovering - natural healing processes of the brain and I am trying to help them along by keeping this in mind. Learning that happens fast.

I have realized that I have been forced to think like one of those Ais. What was it Adam Becker said? The blurred out and smeared out fuzzy voice of the internet.

A thing that has no idea what anything is and is monstrously forced on people destroying their natural intelligence thanks to…
I shall stop there. I understand the kinds of people who sign up for stuff like this well.

I have avoided fatuously enthusiastic people who like crowds and want to be on tv and photographed for most of my life anywhere. I wasn’t expecting that in a science job.

The involvement of robotics will not shield anyone. A robotic cleaner next door just started whining and I cslled my cousin and she told me that was what it was. I know my cousin and she isn’t part of some sort of scam in multiple countries being sold by the private sector and multiple parasitic entities trying to exploit ai and humans. It stopped whining as I am typing this.
None of the participants in this who knew otoh should expect to get away with anti social experiments exploiting chaos, corruption and different types of self serving opportunism.
It may be 75% right and 25% “left” in any real sense and that is not a type of “left” to coddle.

I realized something about Epstein victims etc. One knows it in the abstract about the environment and animal rights ans screwed over people in general. But personally experiencing it, I realized something useful for people who are screwed over as someone who was not always screwed over.
Which is that the targets of human malice and misogyny not as this thing’s autowrong suggest “mismanagement”.

That knowing you are in the decent position not these guys does one no good in the middle of a conflict.

In fact it makes it worse. So one has to keep one’s head and document it making allowances for false positives, ordinary annoyances, shameful behavior by a corrupt and misogynistic system that wants you to negotiate with such people, after one person is already dead.
Each participant will trivialise their role. They only need to aggressively noise pollute snd they expect to get away with “boys will be boys”.
Other parasitic observers looking for trauma porn to market adding to the crowd makes it worse.
This is the fault of the state and the private sector.
This govt is going out of power. If the next one does not shut this down but doubles down this will get even worse.
This needs to be shut down immediately and this location shut off for all construction and those involved should be detained.
I understand the mentality well.
Epstein died in prison. This won’t end well for the people who participated and continued ignoring of this by the Indian state with brusque refusal to show any decency after a cancer patient died in this location is not recommended.

I took a few snapshots of the street traffic. With that it should be possible to reconstruct the whole using records that exist somewhere.
In a country where gangrapes, acid attacks etc are not unheard of rolling out a Panopticon like this with tech cos and the general sexism and misogyny of the whole, all 14 years of it, will not age well.