How to Make Quinoa...

Go to the pantry to get the quinoa. Pass by the laundry and remember you need to put the sheets in the dryer. Open the dryer to find other clothes in there. Remove them and put the sheets in the dryer. Take the basket of clothes upstairs. Come back downstairs and go into the kitchen. Remember the quinoa in the pantry. Get it.

Put quinoa in a pan to lightly toast. Take other pot off the stove to clean and place it in the sink. Get a spoon from the drawer to stir the quinoa. Realize you forgot to turn on the gas. Turn on the gas and go back to the sink. Wash the pot. Put a few other dishes away. Return to the stove to find the quinoa has burned. Dump it in the trash and wash the pot. Return to pantry to get more quinoa. Add to pot.

Stand over the pot and stir. Never put the spoon down. Stand there. Stir until quinoa is light brown. Add chicken stock and garlic. Stand there. Bring the pot to a boil. Stand there. Stir the quinoa, lower the heat and cover it. SET A TIMER. Check for texture. Enjoy with the rest of your dinner.