I am so saddened to hear of your beloved's transition.

Please take good care of yourself. Grieving is hard work, emotionally, psychologically, and physically. Be gentle with yourself & know that the stages of grief are not linear.

Healing vibes on the way to you.

Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord and may perpetual light shine upon him.

Such a loss can be so difficult to process. Remember, you have your friends here, on DU, when ever you need us.

strength in his memory. Rest in peace.

If my words did glow with the gold of sunshine
And my tunes were played on the harp unstrung
Would you hear my voice come through the music?
Would you hold it near as it were your own?
It's a hand-me-down, the thoughts are broken
Perhaps they're better left unsung
I don't know, don't really care
Let there be songs to fill the air
Ripple in still water
When there is no pebble tossed
Nor wind to blow
Reach out your hand if your cup be empty
If your cup is full, may it be again
Let it be known there is a fountain
That was not made by the hands of men
There is a road, no simple highway
Between the dawn and the dark of night
And if you go, no one may follow
That path is for your steps alone
Ripple in still water
When there is no pebble tossed
Nor wind to blow
You who choose to lead must follow
But if you fall, you fall alone
If you should stand, then who's to guide you?
If I knew the way I would take you home
La da da da...

He was a shelter cat that seemed to be a Flame Point Siamese. He lived to be about 10 years old.

Ripples was named that because he looked like he had reddish ripples on him.

He loved Ripples and all cats in fact. That was one of the things that we shared, our love for cats. We had many over the years, his favorite being a white cat that was found the same day our other white cat had died too soon of feline epilepsy.

The day before he died I took him in a picture of her. He saw the picture and was able to say "kitty". My god, that got me good.

I went back again the next day and took him a little TY Beanie Babies white cat. He sure liked that little kitty too.

Kitty. Oh yes.

I'm sure there are kitties aplenty wherever he now is.

I'm sure there are too, and all the ones he loved to greet him. So sorry for the loss of your beloved dad. From a fellow kitty lover.

Especially all your old cats who went before. Hugs to you in this harsh time!

was a “cat man” too. Now it’s just moi and the girls, Princess Grace and Kate the Great.

the stories you share always comfort you and bring you peace.

May your loving memories bring you comfort and peace.

Let us know if we can help.

I lost my beloved of 30 years in December 2015 and I think about him every day. Again, I am so sorry.

(((((((Hugs)))))))

he will be whole and healthy. Mine comes often and we sometimes go house hunting at the ocean. That’s my favorite.
Mine was Irish too. I’ll have him go round and introduce himself. He’s been there five years this month so he knows the layout.
Now you concentrate on taking care of you.

And it's just a box of rain
I don't know who put it there
Believe it if you need it
Or leave it if you dare
And it's just a box of rain
Or a ribbon for your hair
Such a long long time to be gone
And a short time to be there

Good luck, you've done all you could.

Rest assured you did everything for him that you could. Love is such a wonderful thing but it hurts so bad. I hope you find some peace with your kitties. I know mine are good companionship. We used to say don’t let the changes get you down

He was lucky to have been loved by you.

Living over half one's life together is a blessing.

We were together ever since that day.

We were married some 7 years later in Carson City, Nevada at one of those silly chapels for $45.00.

After that we went to Harrah's and quickly downed several stiff screwdrivers.

There was one of those beds at the motel we were staying at. You put a quarter in it and the whole bed began to vibrate.

I recall saying, "How in the hell does one sleep in one of these?".

So that was our wedding night.

There was a Grateful Dead concert at Boreal Ridge Ski Resort on Aug. 24, 1985. We went to that show and he was as proud as a peacock having me at his side. We had just gotten married and he told a man that walked by that was eyeing my tits (ha!) how happy we were.

The man said to him, "You lucky bastard!".

It was not one of the Grateful Dead's best shows, but here it is from archive.org:

https://archive.org/details/gd1985-08-24.nak100.holtz.jaz.99010.flac16

My late husband was 20 years older than I am and no one thought it would work.

He had many tales to tell from Ireland, including the citing/sound and wail of the banshee when their neighbor, the late Mrs. O'Sulllivan died at the age of 114 years as her procession passed by. He ran to catch the banshee but failed. He spoke of this incident for the rest of his life so I guess it made an impression on him. He was a boy of 12 years old at that time that had to drop out of school to work the farm as his father died when he was only a year old leaving behind a widow with eight children to care for and twins on the way.

Thanks again friends! Thank you!

May sweet memories of your beloved bring you comfort and peace.

sympathies and condolences!

in your time of pain?
My heart goes out to you today.

May you find comfort in your memories and stories of your life together.

for your lost.

Wishing peace for you at this difficult time.

Know the peace that he is in, and that the world turns at its own pace for its own reasons.

may he now have peace. Take care of yourself.

May he Rest In Peace.

I will raise a pint of Guiness in honor of your little Irishman.

I hope he has found peace.

I hope you get the support you need and deserve

...you must be enduring. Although I don't know you, my heart will hold you and offer comfort to you throughout these sad days. Peace and Love.

I am very sorry for your loss, but I imagine you were both blessed while he was here, and you got to share your life with someone who you obviously loved, for a long time. Hugs. xoxo

and may you be blessed with friends and great self-care until you are reunited.

strength. Your DU family is here for you.

You did a wonderful job of caring for him and seeing him through his passing. ❤️

May I offer my own moment of silence for your beloved father?

admiration for your courage.

but I know he'll live gloriously in your heart.

You and your beloved are in my thoughts and prayers today..

The very best of good luck and comfort to you and your little furry people.

Normally, Silver is an elusive cat that moans and sounds like a foghorn. This is his middle name in fact, foghorn. Silver F. for short!

Silver is very sad. I brought the lovely quilt into the bedroom and he marked it good. I'm sure he could smell my husband on it.

We are all grieving around here, cats included.

What a sad state of affairs indeed.

Luckily, I some how managed to make it to Costco after I went yesterday and stocked up of food and filled up my 20+ year old Honda while I was there.

So, I have everything I need for now.

I have to go to the dentist today to get my teeth tended to and then the mortuary where he is now under their care.

Thank you so much for your kind response. I appreciate it very much.

Your friend,

CountAllVotes

Your OP was one of the deep kind, but your response has heartened me a great deal, and tells me you are going to be fine. I hope you know it, too.

Mr. Silver is a remarkable cat, no? Animals know so much more than we often think. Our Cairn is very unsettled these days, and seems confused. We are moving back to the mainland, and the preparations leave him knowing something is up, but not what it is.

You and your cats will comfort each other, and there is always the amazing DU family. I'm sure you have good RL friends, as well, and probably very good ones. Lean on anything and anyone you need to, or be as solitary and insular as you need to be for now.

All our best,

Jim

May you both find peace in his passing.

May your beloved rest in peace, and may you find peace as you grieve. You both were lucky to love one another.

i have a theory that all our smiles are eventually paid for in tears. try to remember those smiles as you wipe away the tears.

and yes, it is a cruel, cruel way to go. a little bit at a time.

We both had ours.

I am Irish-American myself and I grew up surrounded by the Irish people.

We had many challenges over the years but we stuck it out best we could.

He cared for me when I almost died in 2009.

I cared for him for many many years as the dementia began a number of years ago.

It was a very difficult road to walk.

They wanted me to put him away in a care facility. I refused. I told him that I would do all I can for him until I cannot do any more.

I kept my promise. He was with me up until the end.

Till death do us part indeed.

I kept my promise as did he.

I have not informed what is left of my own family. They are fans of TFG and I know what I would hear. It would be, "Well that's your problem. How much money do you have anyway?". My husband had no possessions, never did from Day #1. I am being left an impoverished widow as I cannot collect his Social Security as my SSDI (I have MS and have been on SSDI since 1996) is more than he received. I'm sure my TFG family would wallow in joy knowing this. I have no intention of telling any of them that he is gone as I wrote to them several months ago re: the situation and received no reply.

What a shallow life to be seen in those we thought we knew.

I am so very disappointed in many of my "friends" yet overwhelmed by the kindness that others have showered me with.

One day at a time as they say ...

One long long day it has been.

I was a caregiver to my mother, who had dementia in the final years of her life.
I think I did a bit of grieving before she died, mourning parts of her that were going or gone.
But her essence, her smile, her presence were what I missed most, and still miss after 6 years this week, but not in a deprived way. Rather, I feel blessed to have had her in my life and to have been able to care for her.

I had my cats for comfort also, but wasn't a member here at DU until several months later. I came looking for community and found a treasure trove of good souls, including you. I am also without close family, and was responsible for all the details of the burial and settling the estate. I really hope you don't have unpleasant dealings with your unpleasant relatives.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending another hug.

May your memories sustain you.

It must have been instinct as I've had this available to me for 25 years now but never took it as I am a state retiree. I guess COVID made me do it, I don't know. I have excellent benefits but my pension is $100 a month, that's it.

I have an appt. to see an attorney that specializes in estates and matters like what I've been up against at the end of May.

Seems my tracks are well covered as there is no estate as it now stands.

As for the undesirable relatives, they won't be getting a thing.

Their behavior is unacceptable.

I knew this already anyway as my mother and father's death told me all I needed to know about these "loving" relatives. ha.

Fortunately, I pre-arranged cremations years ago as well so that expensive is not an added worry.

I must have been thinking right at some point but right now, I am pretty out of it.

I still have my cats.

They give me something to live for that I know loves me.

so many people just dont know what to say, or have some grief of their own that has them in a bag. some just toss out promises, and others are just tongue tied.

i used to be a hospice volunteer, and i found a good icebreaker is- tell me a story about them.
i'm nothing but irish myself, i'll tell ya a half hour story at the drop of a hat. it was always a bit of work to hold the floor open for others. but folks would tell me amazing stories, and i always loved hearing them.

here's to the stories we leave behind.

Wall Street is their GOD and they've been busy worshiping their GOD.

Their GOD has been pissing on 'em bad lately.

Fuck 'em if you know what I mean.

They wanted to know what would I do after he got out of the hospital. Who would care for him?

He opted to die instead.

As the old saying goes, "With friends like this, who needs enemies?".

Not me, that's for sure!

And to think I was going to name these people as my power of attorney for healthcare? Glad I know now before I proceeded to do so.

They suffer from a disease called greed and brain rot. I'm not sure which is worse, but I'm leaning towards GREED.

What a huge disappointment!

between the bullshit i've gone through w my urban farm, my divorce in '14, and the hell of the last couple years, i think i have cut off every f'ing one of them. it's one of my most useful gifts.
couple sisters, too. oh well.

I know what he would say.

"That is your problem. How much did it cost? How much did it cost?".

Money is his GOD.

What a sad GOD he has.

I want nothing to do with the sorry ass SOB. Nope.

I was done with him after my parents died.

When he said, "Wait until the old lady is dead before you dump the dog", that done it.

I knew and if I'd pretended not to know, well that is my fault.

What a small world these greed ridden people live in.

The almighty buck rules their sad lives.

They are the ones that are alone, not I.

Dementia is horrible but as you said, it doesn't steal the soul.

That is how I as a Catholic believe.

The soul never dies.

It lives on forever and ever.

💚

for the loss of your beloved.

My sincere condolences. May he rest in peace!

My deepest condolences to you for this immeasurable loss.

Focus on what you had, not on what you've lost. His memory will bring you happiness and joy.

You have given such a beautiful tribute of your beloved. He was a wonderful person, I can tell by your words. He will be waiting there for you, I am sure.

In the meantime, as a fellow Irishman (my people emigrated from County Roscommon back in the 1840s), I give you this - I've always loved it and it has assuaged my own grief at times:

May you find peace and comfort.

44 years is a long time to love someone and then be all alone. My heart breaks for you.

May he rest in Power, and may his memory be a blessing to all he touched.

May he get to heaven before the devil knows he's dead.

Sending love and peace.

May his soul rest in peace.

My sweetheart and I made it to 40 years. He’s been gone since March of 2011. I miss him as much now as I ever have. His picture is on the mantle and every evening I lift my glass and wish him a happy happy hour. Sometimes I even tell him about my day. It gets easier over time.

Hugs from a distance,
Mme. D.

I hope you can find strength and peace at this very difficult time.

When my Mom passed recently, I found this poem, left by someone at her memorial, a comfort. I hope you do too:

Death Is Nothing At All
by Henry Scott-Holland


Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Nothing has happened.

Everything remains exactly as it was.
I am I, and you are you,
and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just round the corner.

All is well.
Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!


Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/death-is-nothing-at-all-by-henry-scott-holland

🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯

I do know a bit of Gaelic, not a lot but some.

Thanks again!

May God bless and keep you.

in knowing that you did all that you could for your dear Irishman.

May you reflect on the time and the blessing of his presence in your life.
Be very kind to yourself.
You were there for him until the end.
No one can ask for much more.

We are never adequately prepared for the enormity of lost loves. Be gentle with yourself and give it all the time you need.

be at rest and happiness...

When my father died I was a wreck for months as he too went out the hard way.



I never got over it really and now this.

Thank you for your kind words.