I do agree we can do better for elderly, but Medicaid (run primarily by the states) that pays for most nursing home care is not willing to pay for decent care. Of course, to get Medicaid coverage for a nursing home, you pretty much have to spend every penny you have and become destitute.

As ugly as that is, I don't see any rush to do anything about it. Heck, many states wouldn't even expand Medicaid for Obamacare. Our politicians just fall back on the "we can't afford it."

Hope your FIL is comfortable, and he is very lucky to have your help.

That was 8 years ago.

Some were mediocre at best. One was pretty good. The best is where she is now....N.J. Home for Veterans.

My reaction to your post is to hope you can continue with a daily visit... hopefully at different times of the day and evening. While bruises may result for other than abuse, look for them. Watch for other signs of illness and rashes. That is probably all you can do.

Look for signs of activity when you visit. Most facilities have an activity calendar. In some places it is nothing more than going through the motions of an activity. In others, most of the residents in secured quarters are actively participating.

That is the best guideline I can offer in evaluating these places.



Best wishes.

H.

The place he is at is fairly decent.

It just seems high priced.

while she still has enough money to enter as a private- pay patient -- about 6 months worth of assets.

My mother was on the borderline between needing the highest level of assisted living care, or a nursing home. Fortunately, we decided to go with the nursing home. All the rooms are private and there's an excellent staffing ratio. And if she outlives her resources, the facility is Medicaid-eligible and nothing in her situation will change.

If we had waited till she ran out of money to apply for Medicaid, we would have been facing a time crunch and wouldn't have been able to wait for a spot in a good place to open up.

P.S. She's so much happier than she was in a couple other rehab centers she'd been to in recent years for brief periods. There really is such a thing as an excellent nursing home, and we were lucky to find one.

for that much you could hire a live in nurse!

You can try PACE (Program of All-inclusive Care for the Elderly) program..

Recommend checking the dates of posts so you’re not in a dead one. This one may have infrequent updates.

It’s unconscionable that our elderly are treated so poorly and literally soaked for every ounce of prosperity they’ve worked their whole lives for. When will people have had enough? All the assisted living facilities that I know of are upward of $6000 a month. I plan on aging in place until I die. Prepare for it by staying healthy, exercise, eat right and prevent falls! Design your home to support aging safely. Live with others who can help you look out for yourself. Unless you’re super wealthy, what else can you do?