❤️

Not to brag, but my ability to clamp down my anger is fucking legendary at this point. Although this one damn near pushed me into a screaming asshole.

Thanks pants, like I said, just needed to vent. Thanks fer being there bro!

Not a religious man in any way and I find me self reciting the serenity prayer under my breath.

Maybe a back up elder care sitter to give yourself a break once and awhile. Brother, sister, outside home care assistance to come in one or two days a week so you can get out six/eight hours to recharge,/refresh.

Any cognitive or health issues, is exhausting, and heartbreaking. Sending vibes for patience, and strength, and endurance.

Means more than you know! I think I feel your vibes coming on, although, could be the weed.

Seriously, though. Thank you.

And do, please, check into respite care. It can be such a help. As others have pointed out, it is only going to get harder. Make use of every resource you can find.

are in a nursing home because I could not ever physically or now mentally take care of them anymore. Unfortunately the mental part of not being able to handle everything still goes on especially now with Covid.

My mom pulled this on me a few times. I feel your anger. It sucks!

She gone drive me CRAZY!

I wish you patience.

But there’s times where it’s being spread over too much toast, you dig? I’m doing my best not to blow up, brother. I was on the edge with this one. Marching through the house mumbling “Jesus fucking Christ. The toilet overflowed, oh you think. Etc.” Dude, I almost lost my shit. Hence the venting post.

many shitty diapers she's changed on you and your siblings. Best for you to find a support group, that's what helped me. Good luck.

you will smile about this one day!!

I took care of my dad (dementia) for his last few years. .

he was absolutely convinced that my partner had taken his long underwear and he was upset

he found his way down to the local car dealer and wrote a check (he still had his checkbook- big mistake) for a new Ford Escape and had the salesman drive it home for him

so many stories we have to remember him by

Perhaps try to keep her near you where you can keep an eye on the situation before too much happens.
Frankly, just as you do with a young child that you can't trust out of your sight.

From busy little kids, now you need to adult proof a room for people with dementia. It will stream line your workload and prevent many of these little mess maker problems.

Sometimes you only need to secure a few things, but you may end up with a room as austere as a jail cell. It just depends on the person as to how set they are in wreaking stuff. Choose larger items over smaller ones, that makes them more difficult to cram into another potential mess.

You could be thankful she didn't burn down the house. Sounds like "proofing" the house is in order. My mom kind of crashed into dementia real hard about 20 months ago and it was hard to keep her from being hurt at home so we had put her in assisted living. She died from covid on 12/31... a little over two weeks ago.

The dementia is the hardest part, you can also look into hospice care that is not end of life care but someone who comes and gives you a hand in caring for your mom and help you with ideas on how to deal with some of these little nightmares, they are two separate services. It might help to look into that. It becomes too much to deal with after a time and you are only qualified for so much of the care she needs. Also, memory care is something you might consider.

Caring for an elder parent is hard and you should remember to not beat yourself into the ground trying to do it all yourself. You have to take care of yourself too, dear.

I had no idea! I am so sorry! I’m a shit online friend. I am so sorry to hear! Oh man. My deepest condolences, sister. I’m so sorry.

It's okay. Really. I didn't really announce it here so don't feel like you missed it. She was in her nineties and barely with us at that point.

She had a few lucid moments with my sisters in the last few weeks where she said that she wanted go and they told her it was okay if she was ready. Then a couple days before xmas she tested positive for the virus. We knew it would kill her, so we made sure she was not suffering through medication. It was kind of a blessing in that she was ready to go and might have lived for years being horribly miserable. It feels better to know she isn't suffering anymore. She was declining for ten years and two of my sisters were caring for her much of that time. And we all learned that there comes a point when family cannot provide the care and safety an aging parent requires.

Just remember to take care of yourself too, it's not being selfish, it's making sure your needs are also met because what you are doing is fucking hard in every way imaginable and you can't take care of others if you are not well.

You made me cry man!

Your words spoke to me soul. Thank you!

empathize. Feel free to vent whenever you need.

It was hard but sometimes you have to laugh so you won't cry. Hope you have someone who can give you a break. When someone offers help. Take it! Even a little break helps. Hang in there.