There is a congressman from Connecticut who is introducing a bill in congress that would allow the years spent at home raising children and/or caring for elderly or disabled family members to earn social security credits for that work. It IS work.

This is a huge issue for millions of older women now retired on poverty income but also an issue for stay at home dads. It's an equal pay issue. It's a feminist issue.

Let's hope it passes and that it can be made retroactive. Your income would go up significantly.

daughter, took care of Dad who had Altzheimers. Would be great.

And fair and it would be justice served to all home makers, if we can still use that phrase. I was a "stay at home dad" (Was in college, not working) for a few years and it is a very tasking job that requires the patience of Job at times. While this would mainly benefit women (and that's just fine) there are a number of males that would also benefit from this change.

If the most important resource of our country is it's children then we need to put our money where our mouth is and spend it on those things that benefit them.

We need to support passage of this.

http://thinkprogress.org/economy/2016/03/18/3761628/murphy-social-security-caregiver-credits/

How would it be figured if a person isn't earning any money?

"The credit would be based on a sliding income scale related to previous earnings capped at the average national wage or a maximum credit equal to half the average national income for those who weren’t earning money previously, for up to five years of caregiving. And it would apply to anyone caring for a child, grandchild, niece or nephew, aunt or uncle, spouse or domestic partner, parent, or sibling who needs daily assistance with basic activities like eating and bathing or even managing finances and shopping for food.

i spent (male) 4 years taking care of house and stepkids and and homeschooling stepkids
(immigrant... no workpermit)

i got nothing from that..no pay, no ss, nada (actually i got a lot...emotionally i felt good helping my stepkids)
and it is work, my (now x)wife of course was pissed off at me for not contributing 'more' (money)

so yup it's an issue in many directions as you post
you (mostly) always make sense Grasswire
i'd love a retroactive, it'd make me ellible ....oh nevermind i already worked the 5 + years it takes
still depending on what they put it at it'd be cool

(Whaddya mean "mostly"??

mostly depends on if it's my birthday and i'm shitfaced (i won't be doing group host stuff)
or if it's your birthday and you're....
LOL

*jk* just wanted to get ya going a little :-p

Is it something to do with Vikings?

i have a similar one irl, shorter handled though

vikings kinda 'elected' their kings and they weren't 'better than' they were "first among chiefs" kinda thing

the tradition lived on in Sweden at least partially to 15-1600's (some of it lives still..the Eriksgata (where the king rides all over the country in a carriage without much of a guard) is one of them

in the old days it was a 'do you have the guts' and 'do you have the support' proof in one trip

a few Swedish kings were....voted out with one (axe, or spear, or sword, or ...) but since the axe is a little symbolic of vikings along with saex and scaemasaex ( long and short knifes)

for me.....it's a sorta reminder to the 1%... the ultimate recourse of any confrontation is physical action, from the 1% they... send by way of politicians..riot police or national guard, for the people the reply is rebellion (historical facts)

bear in mind the bearded axe was also used to build houses, boats, cut firewood and so forth, it really was a tool more so than a weapon, but when a viking couldn't afford a sword and the time to train with one...why not use the thing that's most comfortable in hand and he DOES have some training with

/end history lesson

...I learned that my ancestry was not totally English, but part also Scandinavian. Viking. A cousin had the tests done, and confirmed Viking ancestors. That totally changed my idea of myself. I had no clue, previously. And then when I started watching the series on the History Channel. Oh!! There are fierce and bloody warriors in my DNA.

Quite a few people with English blood have scandinavian/viking blood

also remember if you have Norman blood, that is viking blood by extension

Nor....Mand (man of the north)....vikings that raided so much in france they were paid in land by the king of Paris(france?) with normandy if they'd protect against others

the Dane axe is the more common axe for vikings but the bearded one is actually a better tool in my eyes

i spent a large part of my youth with axe, knife and matches or firesteel (more modern version ferrocrome or similar) in the swedish forests (camping out)

We need to communicate.

not always definable as communication :-p

I'm 50% Norwegian. My grandfather was a seaman/fisherman from the Hammerfest area. One of the northern most towns in the world. Viking descendent for sure.

...I'd have to ask you a question.

I'm impressed.

I would say yes.

...you face is the sweetest.

(I'm on my phone and I'm just happy it didn't autocorrect that to say sweatiest.)

I've been there too, so i know how hard it is.

Respect is something I don't see much of here on DU.

This is a great group. I should spend more time here. Maybe I can be of some help.

I regret that I have not spent more time in this group, rather than arguing with obnoxious posters in GDP.

I'll try to do better.

You are no doubt a strong, resilient and resourceful person. It's amazing the skills that you taught yourself.

Thank you for sharing some of the highlights of your personal story. I think sometimes it's easy to forget that there are real lives--real human beings--behind the screen names.

I wish you good things as you journey on!

Up until now I've been pretty protective of my privacy. I'm becoming more amiable to telling a bit more if it will help at all.

The working poor are an invisible and mostly uncared about group. The more of us that speak up and make our situations and our thoughts be known, the more likely it is that we will become less of an untouchable caste.

I hope this group grows.

I was happy to link my OP to the Bernie Sanders group. I think they (of all the political groups here) best understand the problems we, the working poor face every day.

What an inspiring life you've lived

Many blessings and good feelings to you on the journey ahead!

I've always been inspired to keep moving by my family and community. Lately my cyber community has added some git-go.

ETA a

I salute you...

I hope I can inspire some courage and grit to others that I may never meet.

I believe we can get threw hard times with a little help from our friends.

For our listening pleasure:

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just a we are willing to help a friend or neighbor...

Thanks for the music...

It makes the world an even scarier place.

You have so many accomplishments and I'm sure overcame many obstacles. My hat's off to you.

I learned so many of these skills from wonderful friends and family. Most of them now gone.

I understand your SS is small but owning your own home gives you options as well as not having to punch the clock and that's what we working poor have to over come everyday: The lack of options. It's why we eat poo sandwiches (figuratively!) so often in life. Good for you!

Most home owners become skilled at home improvements and repairs over the years. My brother had almost as many tools as I did when I had a remodeling business! I was jealous because some of his were better than mine!

Anyway, peace to you now! You earned it!

Most of my tools are "hand-me-down" hand tools from my father. I only recently acquired a circular saw, electric drill and a compound miter saw.

I still mow my lawn with a reel mower. It doesn't pollute.

PS...I have had to learn to do all the stuff you can do too. Plus my hubby is really handy. The gardening is not so good though, working on painting my black thumb green.

Very proud to hear of how much you overcame. Great to hear inspiring stories like this, puts things into perspective. Keep inspiring others with this story.

It is the workers, not the moneyed, that makes life livable.

are entitled to a stipend from his social security -- It won't cost him anything, so if that would be larger than what you get from your working career, go for it!

It almost doubles my SS benefits. I went for it.

How did you learn these skills?

Even though it's easy to get the knowledge these days, with diy websites and youtube, I'm still terrified about attempting home repair on my own. It's not that I don't want to do it. I don't trust myself to do it right.

I'm in awe of you. Really.

you must have faith in yourself.

Some things I had hands on guidance from family and friends with their skills. Others I just jumped into on my own.

Long time ago the library was a good resource for how to books. Now days we are being short changed. Everything now, including knowledge comes with a high price.

I wish I could spread better the skills I have learned.

Start small, but most daily maintenance stuff is easy to learn.

The local library is a goldmine for old school how to books.
They won't help with new stuff, but older stuff, like the crazy shit I find in my house occasionally, they are awesome.
My best advise is, that all things being equal, don't jump into electrical work right off.

I just hope that most people wouldn't need it and would just read it to become inspired and awestruck by your tenacity.

I'm more of a hands on teacher.

I hope to inspire just a little.

Thank you Kalidurga.

work record. Divorced spouses are entitled to claim (under certain conditions such as age) if they were married for at least 10 years.

Congratulations on hanging in and being able to do so many things.

I went for the divorced spouse claim. It's double my own. It's still poverty level.

I'm glad that I have learned these skills and managed to survive in poverty. Unfortunately some of these things are becoming undo-able at my age.

You would be surprised though what can be traded for those things I can still do.

For example:
Homemade pie with the flakiest crust you ever put in your mouth.
Bread and butter pickles made from fresh home grown organic produce.
Nights of sleep between line dried linens.
Custom tailored clothing, upholstery and decor.
Chauffeur service for those with a suspended license.

The list is long. We all have something to offer in exchange for our own needs.

i see possibly a future in something similar to 'lets' https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Local_exchange_trading_system
as well..there is software out there to make it relatively simple

i've heard both good and bad about them, the only one i experienced was a 'work exchange' at a camp site (400 members) since most people knew each other there it worked pretty well

He was skilled in so many things, but carpentry and masonry were his stock in trade. I received 8 years of dance (tap, ballet and acrobat) lessons in loo of cash when my father helped build my dance teachers new house.

My heart swells when I think of how much my father sacrificed to benefit others.

And advertising!

but I'm afraid my thoughts are usually far too jumbled to put them in writing.

I'm surprised that this OP has received the attention and encouragement of so many.

That said, a woman is even stronger because she sticks with the family through thick and thin. I hate the part about in the Bible, a woman needs to do what the man says regardless of who is the stronger person (I don't mean built stronger there).

I think women are stronger because they need to be. If guys were put into their situations, they would be as strong, but there would be many more fists fights because of increased testosterone, and an inability to talk things out.

malokvale77, you are an example of that just as strong, and even better woman I am talking about.

BTW, I'm a guy who has done the cooking, the changing of diapers, the plumbing, electric..drive the kids to school..the wash..the whole damn thing, because I didn't see it as a man's thing or a woman's thing but a partnership.

And good news, more guys think like that now.

I was raised with 6 brothers (five older) so I will agree about the physical strength. However, I had 10 years of ballet training and was a gymnast from the age of 4 through 16. I made up in agility what I lacked in strength. My brothers didn't mess with me much.

I'm glad you understand the partnership relationship. It was less common in my younger days. I raised my son to think that way. My daughter has raised her two sons with that framework.

Married at 15 and 2 kids by 24. I start my early SS retirement in June - can't wait long enough for the full deal. Isn't it empowering to be able to do the things you listed? Tough, but empowering!

Most important of all, we made it girl! Intact, strong and proud!

Intact, strong and proud.

and honored you find this place safe and nice

and wow at the 'resume'

I remember the day you started this group. I was amongst the first to join.

I was too busy working, too busy retiring and too busy politicking to participate. I hope to do better going forth.

. . .although I don't where you live or what your property tax situation is.

Too many "professionals" are living beyond their means, and driving fancy cars, but the axe WILL fall for them sooner or later. And many will have to default on their mortgages.

AFAIC, regarding those folks, well, shit happens when you party naked.

I have a hardy laugh when ever I think of them having to clean their own toilet.

That's as far as I will go with that on this thread.

I was born poor and except for a very few years when things went a little better, I've stayed poor. It looks like that isn't going to change any time soon.

I've raised three kids on my own, worked and scrimped and scavenged to make it. I'm four years from early "retirement", and I fear having that safety net snatched from me.

I finally managed to pay for a single wide trailer, and it now sits on land that's paid for. It isn't much, but it's mine and no one but the tax man can take it from me (and luckily, the taxes are low). It's a constant struggle to keep things up, to keep our old cars running and food on the table, but I figure there's always someone in worse shape than me and to give up would be an insult to them. I have more options that some I've seen, though in the dark hours it doesn't seem that way.

Still, I rejoice in my boys, whom I love dearly, and the hope that Bernie will forge a better future, with our help.

It's that spirit that we must try to hold onto. Far too many of us are pushed to the wall.

"A Future To Believe In" - Bernie gets it.

It's spirit, resilience, and work-ethic like yours that made this country great. Sadly, we are in the throes of a going on 40-year economic restructuring effort that puts more and more people into the same boxes you have been painted into.

Keep the faith and continue spread your illuminating story. As Bernie says, together we can create an economy that takes care of 100% of us.

in easing the struggles of so many.

I think each of us can play a role in lifting the burden that far too many of us carry.

Yup,,,, I know..... none of my business - that's why what I'm saying, is okay..... it doesn't matter unless you want it to do so. Moi is just asking you to think everything through. Have you ever wanted to go to Hawaii for a week - or Costa Rica for a month .. or a certain New Car?

Just sayin......

You've done it, paid off your home, and your entire life savings is sitting in an account you can't access. What is it to struggle, all your life, just to get by, in perpetuity, when you don't have to? Whether its $100,000 or more, you're paying taxes, insurance, maintenance, etc., etc.

Owning a house is overrated, especially when everyone is all grown up. I've had several. My kids and ex all complained (actually it was my ex stirring them up) about that, or how we lived in Embassy Suites, Residence Inns or some other such (while our houses stayed empty - one I bought but never moved into, in Tulsa).

By the way, my kids now confess they miss the old days.

YES,,,, absolutely...... you achieved the dream. The paid off mortgage is proof you did more than most. But, as you did with the torch of the deed, no one can ever take the achievement away from you.

I've lived a great life, born poor, mom on welfare, never seeing my father from 10 years of age, until I went to find him at 18. Always laughed at in school because we wore Salvation Army clothes that were too small (even today it makes me cringe to hear someone say the term "highwater&quot . Then, in my own way, moi became a success and clients paid for our oligarch life style. They could write it off and yours truly kept climbing up the ladder, to the point that over 1000 worked for me (in eToys).

Today, I choose a life of poverty. Now don't get me wrong, having money is great; but that's overrated - also. It is how you get it that is what is really important. It is a matter of what your priorities are.

Me, I've chosen to fight a good fight that is worth more than money, win or lose.

You, on the other hand, have chosen to take care of those you love. I'm just suggesting you do that in - possibly - a better way.
Why struggle, to make ends meet, when your golden goose is in your hands? Just suggesting may be better way.

If you have 2 or 300,000 in worth, in your house, you could keep 1/3 cash, 1/3 in stocks and bonds, tax free, making 10% (it is inflated bucks, but still a growth) and/or you could put 1/3 into a gas station, or own a hotel (with a house attached - there are many).

Life is an adventure.

Of course, my house is only worth $30,000 or so, so it could be different for other people with homes worth much more. But having my house is one of the only safety nets that I have. Renting is too risky...you never know what the rent will be in 10 years, or if you could afford it when it increases every year. When someone knows how to do a lot of work around the house already, it is safer to keep the house. Taxes are the biggest expense, and not close to the cost of rent.

The value of my "house" has fluctuated so much in the last couple decades, that I don't considerate it. However, the value of my "home" is priceless.

I can't imagine not being able to provide a way station to family or friends in need of a little respite.

The idea of not having my garden is unthinkable. Our best times come from that small plot of soil. The things we cook up from each harvest just can't be beat.

I help senior citizens abused by greedy family members. Currently have a 92 year old friend and 73 year old, in both cases the kids cajoled their parents to put the house in their name, as a tax strategy, and they paid off the mortgage, then were tossed out into the cold (literally - both during Christmas).

If it is your cash, in your bank, such can't happen.

That being said, your will has spoken, moi was only suggesting that you consider the option.

I like a garden - too.

My kids aren't greedy. They both have their own homes (much nicer than mine). I've drawn up legal papers for the deposition of my tiny estate. We're all in agreement.

but the truth is, all my best adventures have taken place right here in this place.

I look forward to many more. I'm staying put. My ashes will fertilize this little piece of the earth.

I have been working poor for all of my adult life... though I'm unemployed now without benefits (or health insurance) I do have a family that lets me live with them and helps me out with what expenses I have. I wish I had learned to do more practical things as you did, I can always start learning, I can probably do some of those things if someone teaches me how.

I grew up spending most of my time on the internet, it was where I met my girlfriend. I was sixteen and she was twenty three when we started living together. She came to Maine from South Dakota, with her five year old daughter so we could try to make a go of it. I had been... up to that point, more spoiled and more sheltered than I ever knew. I picked up a job at a call center making something like 7.50 an hour, which, at the time, was considered good pay up here. She had a job as a dietary aid (and later a medical in medical transcription) at a hospital.

I was struggling with overwhelming depression and severe panic disorder at the time. I ended up losing my job and instead stayed home with my girlfriend's daughter. Suddenly my life became one of constant work, doing laundry, dishes, cleaning, cooking - and taking care of a young girl who had severe behavioral issues. She could be violent, even at five she was taking swings at adults, throwing and breaking things, using vulgar language and insults. As hard as it was to deal with, I loved that girl, and took care of her as best as I could - it was the hardest thing I have ever done.

A year later, without the situation having changed much, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. I was seventeen, about eight months away from my eighteenth birthday. I was... scared shitless, but oddly happy at the same time. It occurred to me that I was going to have a child, that nothing else I ever did would be more important, more significant. It became my reason to keep going, despite my struggles with depression and panic attacks and poverty (if not for my family's help, we never would have survived at all).

I proposed marriage, almost immediately - and when my son was born, I had never (and have never) had a happier, more magical day in my life. I managed to go back to work, washing dishes for restaurants, picking up odd jobs here and there, working at a call center again. I spent a lot of time "in between jobs" too, when I would be home with the children, learning how to juggle bottles, pacifiers, school lunches and supplies and everything else. Too much to describe it all without writing a hundred pages.

The ongoing march though, of poverty, of mental illness, of so many issues rolled into one eventually took it's toll on me. I ended up in a psych ward after a suicide attempt. No, I don't know what I was thinking, just that I was miserable and saw no way out, that not even the kids, who had been my life, could keep me from overwhelming self hatred and misery. Everything that was wrong with my family, with our lack of money, opportunity and so on... I blamed myself. I felt like a failure as a man, as a father, as a provider.

My fiance and I split up, for various reasons - and she took the kids and moved back home to South Dakota, with her parents. I moved back in with my own. It took years for me to get myself at all together, for me to make a headway against my mental illness... but eventually I did, through medication and therapy, through the love and support of my family, I managed to go back to work and keep working. I have been a jack of many trades, but a master of none. I've had jobs and done things that most normal people would consider absolutely ridiculous - like shoveling horse manure for five bucks an hour.

One of the brightest spots in my life was the year I managed to get enrolled in a university - the educational experience was great... until the student loan money ran out and I couldn't find work. Then it was back to the drawing board again, back home, deeper in debt (both educational and medical), living with mom and dad. I've worked in retail and hospitality, and had a brief job as a bartender. This last summer I did something to my back and now I struggle just to get out of bed in the morning, it is a constant pain, to add to many other constant pains, the worst part of it being that I have no health insurance - no available care to me that could perhaps make it better.

Still... the battle goes on. I have not seen my son or the little girl I helped to raise for several years. A lot of that is financial as it costs a lot to go from Maine to South Dakota. The other part... is a deep, overwhelming shame. I was not... am not, a very good Father, in that I failed to provide for my family, in that I could not even manage to keep it together. My parents did it, their parents did it, but I could not.

It sucks. I can't say that enough. It sucks. I love my family, living with them is good - and I am deeply grateful that they will have me, but as a man, as a worker, as a... whatever the hell I am, I feel like I have failed at pretty much all of the important things.

So much of it is rooted in financial inequality, in deep poverty - and in mental illness, which is related (which is worse and which makes which one worse? I don't know... chicken or egg question, I think).

Somehow... despite all of this though, I am inspired, enthusiastic, and passionate about this political revolution that is going on today. It just seems to me, that my life could have been a lot better... could be a lot better now, if, collectively, the working poor got together and demanded something better. I think we are just beginning to stand and fight.

I struggle (hard) every day to stay positive, to keep moving forward, to try to find things to keep me busy even though I can't move around like I used to, some days my back hurts enough that I just want to lay in bed and cry. I am thirty one years old, but some times I feel so much older.


So I can relate to your story in several ways and I absolutely understand how hard it is to be a stay at home parent. I absolutely understand how hard it is to be poor, or broke, to learn how to survive without. Once a member of the working poor - you are always one of us, it is a story no one forgets, an experience one can never deny. It is filled with grief and pain, with triumph and joy, with such a mixture of all the crazy things that make us human. It is the experience of being a working class hero, being taken for granted and used as a statistic or scapegoat by pundits and politicians. Of being looked down upon by people who "got theirs", because, you know, if we're working poor, it must be that we don't work hard enough.

K & R for solidarity. I admire you and applaud your courage and strength. With you in spirit, all the way.

as we do.

Lost comrades in battle (against Romney & GSachs), daughter abducted, life savings gone..

still here smiling....

Then only thing that should be able to get you down in life, is you, for doing wrong. Outside of that everything else is probability and outcome. It is not how hard you work...

it is how smart you work.

Be the circumstances going to keep you where you are, do it with smile (when you can) and help others to do so - also.

Thank you for your candor.

Be well

Do Well

And - hopefully - Feel the Bern!

It is a blessing to have people in our life who care about us.

Please keep in mind that those children you cared for back then, may someday seek for you with their own needs. You have much to offer. Please stay strong.

I bought my 40 acres in '79. I lived in a tent at first and hauled water. After almost a year, I had a well put in,
but there was still no electricity to my property. So I bought a generator for the well and had a big garden.
I began building my house. Then the kids came. They're gone now, they grew up in this big two story, four bedroom house
I built. All the things you learned to do are important. That knowledge makes you rich.

I'm sure you have much knowledge to share with this group. I look forward to learning from you.

She did it all with no electricity, phone or running water... except for running the buckets down to the spring.

She was the best mom in the world and I bet you are too!

but my daughter never fails to call me (just to talk), each and everyday. Sometimes even her old school friends call and/or come by to see me.

My son and his wife still call me to come fix things, LOL.

Sounds like your mom did good.

Better than good!

I'm amazed you have come through all that you have described without being bitter. I can't say I have suffered the many things you have, but I have learned to do many of the things you have learned to do in order to be self-sufficient just in case. My parents who did not grow up well off, always taught me and my seven siblings to learn as much as we could about home repair, gardening, and so many other things that they had to learn when they first got married. Over the years they gained momentum, and taught me and my siblings a lot about finance and how sticking together would make life much easier for us.

I truly appreciate the fact that you were able to continue on after struggling for many years with someone who in the end decided to leave you for someone else. I know that must have been hard for you. I'm so glad you didn't let that get you down. Congratulations on sticking it out in the work place and making it to retirement. I hope you at least had a small pension from your former employment. It is nearly impossible for many people I know to make it on just social security these days. My prayers are with you, and I do hope the new bill concerning social security will be passed and you will be able to take advantage of it so that all of those years you put in with no pay can at least get a little reward.

Take care, and thank you for sharing your story.

It was indeed my parents and grandparents who instilled in me the values I hold. Maybe one day, I will tell their stories.

PS: There was no pension from any past employment.

to go along with your Social Security. I'm sure the story of your parents and grandparents must be as interesting as yours, maybe you should consider doing a book about your families experiences, who knows you might just make the best seller list. Your story is personal, and I'm sure will touch the hearts of many people who have similar stories. Think about it, it just may be an added source of income out there just waiting for you. What have you got to lose? Try it.

I'm in some pretty good company there.

I hope as a nation, we will change that for future generations.

And many of them are women who worked at home.

...you will be eligible to receive what he is getting in Social Security.

Keep that in mind should you out live him.

perish the thought.

Thank you for such a great post that it got to the greatest page where I could find it. You are an inspiration.

pull up a chair, tea, chai, coffee beer wine or other beverage of choice

feel free
share thoughts
feelings (please)
skills and tricks (please please)
ideas (please please please)
rants (please please)
give ideas on sticky threads and ways to improve them
or more!
or just hang out



anyway welcome

you are Wonder Woman!

I'm able to do some of the tasks that you have on your list, but I'd never be able to do all of those things.

Nice to see you here.

I am no Wonder Woman. I've just been desperate a whole lot.

who has replied and/or recommended this OP. You are the heart of what we as Democrats are about.