Why is hospice not involved? Surely they could reduce the misery.

It's just that this all went pear-shaped so damn fast, we didn't have all the pieces lined up. We're doing it on the fly. I've got a headset on and working the phone as I type. I expect I'll be able to get a palliative care doctor over here today.

My wife doesn't want to go to emergency because of the risk that they'll admit her. I know that sounds odd, but it's very important to her that she not be under institutional control during these final days or hours. I know why that's so important to her, and I agree with her.

The situation is fluid, and we're playing it out in real time.

My Dad died in a cold hospital room. He told me to go home because he didnt want me driving at night then he passed. I always regretted that I didn't bring him home. 19 years later my mother ended up in the hospital she got stabilized and I got to bring her home where she passed 10 days later In her home with me holding her hand. So peaceful.

My sympathies and my thoughts are with you.

...Godspeed to your beloved for a safe passage unto the next phase of her existence....

We have both sensed that there is a large and happy welcoming committee assembling on the other side. Keeping my fingers crossed.

`

more morphine and an emergency call was answered
Yes I will ask and also ask peace for you. Little time left hold her with love

to be hospitalized), I just inserted his morphine tablets up his butt. The hell with "protocol".

Caregiving is the hardest job we'll ever have...but you'll do a fine job, though it may not feel like it right now.

Keep us posted, please, and keep doing what you're doing -

HUGS

Hydromorphone (Dilaudid) is one of the higher bio-availability via oral route opioids so you probably don't need to cut the dose TOO much when going the 'opposite' route (basically rectally admin ends up being pretty close to the strength of IV usage, though spread over much more time ... it's going direct to your blood stream). If you had to go that route I'd cut the dose in half to start to see how it affects her.

Sorry for your families suffering ... hope your pain is eased soon ...

Blessings to all!

I wish I could be of more help, but fwiw, there's someone way down south wishing you both as much fortitude & peace as possible.

-app

Prayers (and purrs from my cats) that she will have a gentle journey and that you get the help you need. Love to you both.

I hope her passage is eased and I wish for peace and comfort for you. I'm just so sorry.

I am so sorry you're going through it. Hospice workers are angels on earth...they will really help you both through this difficult passage. My thoughts are with you. Message me if you want to vent.

May her next life be auspicious. My heart is with you.

My sympathies go out to you and your spouse.

I just did with my older brother in Hospice

Peace to you both

We used to dissolve that drug in water and inject because it breaks down very, very easily hence the "hydro" in hydromorphone. People drop Dilaudid right in the barrel of the syringe, suck up some water, shake, get the air bubbles out and inject in upper arm, where ever.

Can't throw that up.

I'm just telling you what I know...

Good luck.

I know what you're going thru and I wish I had something stronger than an easy passing to offer. Peace

would be very effective for her pain. The fentanyl is absorbed through the tissue in the cheek so swallowing & keeping down the meds isn't an issue.They're wicked expensive, though. I used to be on them for pain control, but I lost my great prescription drug benefits when I retired so I had to find something else much less expensive. Again, I'm so very sorry. I've seen family members & my spouse of 30 years through terminal illnesses and it's just plain horrific. Please don't forget to take care of you.

I do truly hope that she finds respite and you find comfort in this terrible ordeal and when the storm has passed and the grief run its cruel and inevitable course, that you are able to reflect on the warm and happier times and hold those dear the rest of your days and that the memories and torment of the present slips effortlessly into a deep past to never be revisited.

I would not wish this on anyone, especially as this is ery close to the fate I am trying to keep my mother from. Godspeed.

So will she....each in his or her way....

I do not know her.. or you, really. But, I will carry each of you today, lightly, one on each shoulder...

I've thought of your wife's health for months but am now at a loss for words. I hope she is resting without pain now.

Hugs.

In the emergency department she was treated with IV Dilaudid and anti-nausea medication. That helped. Then they admitted her to the hospital at 2:30 am and her care fell apart. No further pain management or anti-nauseants, with no prospect of any until after 9:00 am. Plus she contracted diarrhoea from somewhere. She ended up almost as sick as she was when she went in. She is apparently too sick for the hospital to manage effectively. Even worse, they were talking about a multi-day stay which she was not prepared to accept. So she took some of her own Dilaudid and called me to bust her out. At 6:00 am I got her home. She says if she's going to suffer she wants to do it at home where she has more freedom to act, and things happen on her schedule rather than when the institution gets around to it.

She is emphatic about not allowing herself to be put under institutional control of any sort - even something as benign as a voluntary hospital admission. If she decides to leave the world, she doesn't want anything standing in her way. I am, as always, in full agreement, and as a loving partner wholeheartedly support her in determining the course of her own life - or death.

So for the moment, life goes on.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts, suggestions and best wishes. It means a lot to have this place to come to and vent.

Any chance of getting hospice involved? They helped my mom, and can prescribe what may be needed.

She understands our situation, and is extremely compassionate. However, we need a palliative care doctor to visit before they can prescribe. I'm going to start shaking the hospice tree today to see if one falls out.