I hope the hospice worker can help.

I'm sure some folks here may also have some input if you want to share what your questions are.

I had the privilege of being with loved ones four separate times at the end of their lives, and each one was different. I read and read and read and read, looking for answers. What I found is that many of the questions I had didn't have a one-size-fits-all answer.

But questioning is something we naturally do as a means to cope with something so big.

Definitely reach out to hospice.

...I created a timeline document of events based on texts and emails and memories. It wasn't so much to try to understand what happened, but to record the experiences so I wouldn't have a moment in the future when I would feel bad that a memory had slipped away and struggle to reconstruct it. I really don't look at much, but knowing it's there is a comfort.

That was ten years ago.

1. Call an outsider. Your local funeral home may be able to advise on who and also on what questions to ask, or answer some of your questions.
2. Then you are ready to ask the real questions to the real person.

My hospice worker explained a few things and it was as she said. Fortunately, in the case of my mother, there was no mystery of her condition or care.

see if yours did, too. if not, find a social worker who does bereavement counseling.

but i agree w the reply above about creating a timeline. write it all down now.

Sorry about the loss of your father.

They may have grief counselors on staff or will refer you to one in the community.

In my experience, I found it very helpful to have a professional who understands
so many aspects of losing someone you love including their dying process.

I am so sorry for your loss and commend you for caring for your father in last days.

My questions are not spiritual, they are about what he physically seemed to go through.

I can describe it in detail, but don't want to upset anyone.

died here at my house and in the last two days the behavior concerned me... if your father had similar behaviors, I can understand wanting to know... it can be upsetting

I have been with a number of family members as they were dying and most didn't experience the same behavior