Zorro
Zorro's JournalTrump Requests $1.2 Trillion To Have
WASHINGTON—Declaring the financial allocation a matter of utmost urgency, President Donald Trump on Monday requested $1.2 trillion to have.
“I’m calling upon Congress today to immediately provide me with $1.2 trillion in funding that I currently do not possess but which I will possess once it is given to me,” said Trump, acknowledging that he had previously asked for just $900 billion but was now requesting more so that he would have more.
“Even as we speak, I do not have this money, and the only way for me to get it is through swift budgetary action. I’ve gone too long without $1.2 trillion that I’d very much like to have so I can spend it on things I want. It is also possible I’ll want to have more money at a later date, and I will request it then.”
At press time, the Senate passed the $1.2 trillion spending measure mostly along party lines, with Sen. John Fetterman (D-PA) joining all Republicans in support.
https://theonion.com/trump-requests-1-2-trillion-to-have/
Dad Rocks Back And Forth To Gain Enough Momentum To Sit Up From Chair
HENDERSON, NV—In an effort to rise to his feet from the seated position, local dad Robert Palacios was reportedly rocking back and forth Monday to gain enough momentum to sit up from his chair.
According to several reports, the 73-year-old used the mass of his large belly like a pendulum’s counterweight as he oscillated to and fro, building up the speed necessary to free himself from the recliner.
Living room sources confirmed that Palacios, whose face grew red as he accelerated, produced rhythmic, involuntary guttural noises each time he lurched upward and fell back down into the seat cushion, failing in his repeated attempts to reach escape velocity.
At press time, Palacios was said to be motionless after hurtling forward and crashing into the wall.
https://theonion.com/dad-rocks-back-and-forth-to-gain-enough-momentum-to-sit-up-from-chair/
StanChart CEO Says AI to Replace 'Lower-Value Human Capital'
Standard Chartered Plc Chief Executive Officer Bill Winters delivered a blunt message on the future of the bank’s workforce, warning that a push into artificial intelligence will eliminate thousands of roles as the lender replaces “lower-value human capital” with technology.
The bank on Tuesday unveiled a plan to cut more than 15% of its support staff by 2030 through building up its use of AI to streamline operations. It employed about 52,000 people in such roles at the end of last year, with a footprint spanning India, China, Poland, Singapore, and Hong Kong.
“It’s not cost cutting; it’s replacing in some cases lower-value human capital with the financial capital and the investment capital we’re putting in,” Winters said at a briefing in Hong Kong on Tuesday, adding that affected staff would receive “good clear notice” ahead of time.
“We don’t have job losses, but we do have job role reductions in favor of the machines, and that will accelerate as we go forward into AI,” he said.
Winters’ remarks echo a growing candor among global financial leaders regarding the realities of automation, shifting away from previous narratives that framed AI purely as a tool to augment, rather than replace, human workers.
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2026-05-19/stanchart-ceo-says-ai-to-replace-lower-value-human-capital?accessToken=eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJzb3VyY2UiOiJTdWJzY3JpYmVyR2lmdGVkQXJ0aWNsZSIsImlhdCI6MTc3OTIwMDYwNCwiZXhwIjoxNzc5ODA1NDA0LCJhcnRpY2xlSWQiOiJURjlKMFhLSkg2VkIwMCIsImJjb25uZWN0SWQiOiJDNjgyQTUwQzJCRDM0MTFCQTgwQjEwQjZEQjczQzM1MSJ9.WzWsL5jC7adF6ILhI4688UEX44Q0YCDegwDxArtxHz8
IMHO replacing "lower-value human capital" is an unwelcome truth, and we're beginning to see a lot of that today.
AI combined with robotics/automation will replace millions of workers, and governments are not prepared -- or even planning to be prepared to deal with how to cope with mass unemployment on that scale. A universal basic income may end up being the best way to go, but there will be tremendous pushback from those who will refuse to accept that government should "reward" the unemployed.
And sorry for all the link trackers -- that's how Bloomberg gift articles roll...
Police investigating 'active shooter' report at Islamic Center of San Diego
Source: San Diego Union-Tribune
San Diego police were investigating a report of a shooting at an Islamic center in Clairemont on Monday morning, officials said.
Police said they got a report of an active shooter at the Islamic Center of San Diego on Eckstrom Avenue around 11:40 a.m. About an hour later, San Diego police posted an update, saying the scene at the mosque was “still active but contained.”
Police cordon off an area close to the Islamic Center of San Diego after reports of an active shooter on Monday.
“We have significant resources on scene at this time,” the post on X said.
Police said they established a reunification location at 4125 Hathaway St.
Video shot from a helicopter and aired on NBC San Diego around 12:20 p.m. showed a group of young children being led away from the site by adults and law enforcement officers. A large number of law enforcement officers from various agencies converged in the area.
The Islamic Center is the largest mosque in San Diego County.
Read more: https://www.sandiegouniontribune.com/2026/05/18/police-investigating-active-shooter-report-at-islamic-center-of-san-diego-2/?share=intcothetcc52efetrgg
Quentin Tarantino tapped to lead Army chaplain corps
Pentagon officials say director’s “unflinching approach to violence” makes him uniquely qualified for spiritual leadership
HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Pentagon officials announced today that filmmaker Quentin Tarantino will become the next chief of chaplains for the U.S. Army despite having no formal religious training, ministry experience, or apparent understanding of what chaplains do.
The 63-year-old director is expected to receive the rank of major general during a ceremony at the Vista Theater in Los Feliz. Sources familiar with the planning said Tarantino originally pushed to hold the event at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre, but Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth reportedly rejected the venue as “too Chinese.”
Tarantino, best known for films including Kill Bill, Pulp Fiction, and The Hateful Eight, will replace Maj. Gen. William Green, Jr., who was fired by U.S. Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth earlier this year as part of an broader shakeup of senior military leadership.
Hegseth hinted at the appointment during a recent Pentagon prayer service, where he delivered what attendees described as “an aggressively rewritten” version of Ezekiel 25:17, the fictionalized Bible passage recited in Pulp Fiction by Samuel L. Jackson’s character Jules Winnfield.
https://www.duffelblog.com/pentagon-tarantino-army-chaplain/
Xi and Putin Reach Agreement on Joint Ownership of Trump
BEIJING (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a landmark deal, on Monday Presidents Xi Jinping of China and Vladimir Putin of Russia inked an agreement to jointly own Donald J. Trump.
According to sources familiar with the deal, the two leaders crafted a timeshare arrangement under which each will have the right to use Trump when the other is not.
Putin and Xi scooped up Trump at a bargain price since they acquired him in distressed or “as is” condition, sources said.
Both presidents were reportedly offered joint ownership of Eric Trump but passed.
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/xi-and-putin-reach-agreement-on-joint
Trump's Secret Midterms Confession Spells Doom for GOP
President Donald Trump isn’t too optimistic about his own party’s odds in the midterms, insiders have revealed.
Trump, 79, has even told aides he doesn’t care about the outcome of the crucial November elections, sources familiar with his comments told The Wall Street Journal as his party scrambles to hold on to its razor-thin majority in Congress.
Those same sources say the president has privately raged against the GOP for, as he sees it, failing to do enough of his bidding. Among other grievances, Trump has vented frustrations over the party’s failure to enact his controversial SAVE Act, a measure that would require proof of citizenship to vote in federal elections.
Publicly, Trump has repeatedly complained that the party in power almost always takes a beating in the midterms, seemingly bracing his supporters for a looming disaster that he apparently has confided privately he has no real intention to avoid.
Reached for comment, White House spokesman Kush Desai claimed that Americans will benefit by keeping Republicans in the majority in Congress.
https://www.thedailybeast.com/trumps-secret-midterms-confession-spells-doom-for-gop/
Trump's More Than 3,700 Trades Astonish Wall Street Insiders
President Donald Trump’s latest financial disclosures show that he or his investment advisers made more than 3,700 trades in the first quarter, a flurry totaling tens of millions of dollars and involving major companies that have dealings with his administration.
The transactions, spelled out in more than 100 pages of documents filed Thursday with the US Office of Government Ethics, list purchases and sales in broad ranges, making it hard to calculate an exact value. But the volume of trading — more than 40 per day over a three-month period — stands out as much as the potential dollar value.
“This is an insane amount of trades,” said Matthew Tuttle, chief executive officer of Tuttle Capital Management, in an interview, adding that it looks more like something done by “a hedge fund with massive algo trades” that buys and shorts securities than a personal account.
In the first quarter, the president bought at least $1 million each in companies including Nvidia Corp., Oracle Corp., Microsoft Corp., Boeing Co. and Costco Wholesale Corp., according to the documents. Other trades involved eBay Inc., Abbott Laboratories, Uber Technologies Inc., AT&T Inc. and discount store Dollar Tree Inc.
https://finance.yahoo.com/markets/stocks/articles/trump-traded-nvidia-boeing-intel-030913697.html
Yeah, but what about Hunter Biden?
She was deported without her toddler. Then ICE blamed her for his killing.
ICE accused Wendy Hernandez Reyes of leaving her child with a violent uncle, but she says her son would still be alive if officers hadn’t detained and deported her.After U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement detained his mother, 2-year-old Orlin Hernandez Reyes moved into a shed.
His uncle, Samuel Maldonado Erazo, was charged with taking care of the toddler and his three cousins, the oldest of whom was 7, while Orlin’s mother and her sister waited in ICE detention to be deported to Honduras.
Maldonado had once served in the Honduran military, a co-worker later told investigators, and now lived in the Florida Panhandle. He was separated from Orlin’s aunt, and police said he drank heavily and whipped the children with a wire. Orlin repeatedly endured the worst of the abuse.
An autopsy showed he had multiple broken bones. There were signs his tiny body had been sexually battered. Authorities allege Maldonado repeatedly struck Orlin in the head, stomped on his body and burned his skin with a lighter. His hands bore bruises, a sign that Orlin had tried to shield himself from the blows. The coroner listed his cause of death as multiple blunt force traumas.
Maldonado has been charged with murder and pleaded not guilty.
https://wapo.st/4wyzH7u
The Steyer campaign pays influencers. Their posts don't always make that clear
In recent weeks, several social media influencers have popped up in online feeds touting the California gubernatorial campaign of billionaire Democrat Tom Steyer.
Some complain about the price of gasoline. Others mention environmental concerns. One cites her newfound sobriety as evidence that people can change — a nod to Steyer’s self-proclaimed metamorphosis from hedge fund titan to scourge of big corporations.
“I did not expect the most progressive governor candidate to be a billionaire, but look at the policies you guys,” said one content creator on TikTok with the user name Jaz R. “Hear me out. I know Tom Steyer is a billionaire, but he also is for the people.”
The posts include direct-to-the-camera appeals, with personal details interwoven into messages of support for Steyer. An influencer goes for a stroll as onscreen text touts Steyer’s policies. Some seek to convey authenticity, if occasionally ham-fistedly; one influencer mispronounces Steyer’s last name.
What they do not include is a disclosure that their creators were paid by the Steyer campaign to produce the videos, according to a complaint filed this week with California’s Fair Political Practices Commission and a Times review of the posts.
https://www.latimes.com/politics/story/2026-05-15/steyer-campaign-pays-influencers-their-posts-dont-always-make-that-clear
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