General Discussion

littlemissmartypants

(25,954 posts)

22. I had a miscarriage at 22 weeks and my husband and I waited in the ER

Sun Oct 6, 2024, 02:45 PM

Oct 6

At Virginia Beach General Hospital for what felt like forever. Because I was on a stretcher and kept fainting.

I will never forget what the nurse said when she pulled back the sheet as I was being wheeled down the hall. Particularly because she was So Loud which aside from being wholly unprofessional was and is bad form for an ER nurse or any health care provider of any kind.

She said, "Oh, my God there's so much blood!"

I had started bleeding in the morning getting ready for work. By this time it was one in the afternoon.

I had been waiting with my terrified husband, bleeding for five hours.

I knew that I had already lost our baby. But only now, after reading this do I know how close I myself must have been to something potentially catastrophic and possibly fatal.

Thanks so much for taking the time to share this.

❤️

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littlemissmartypants susanr516 Hekate LittleGirl Wednesdays CaliforniaPeggy love_katz LovelyStuff

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Highlight:

I'm gonna woman'splain something to men here about abortion as health care. Just so you know. [View all] flying_wahini Oct 6 OP

Thank you for this clear and helpful explanation! spooky3 Oct 6 #1

great summary... thx for taking the time! WarGamer Oct 6 #2

It is refreshing and emboldoning FirefighterJo Oct 6 #3

You are very much welcome. This is a valuable service. eppur_se_muova Oct 6 #4

The only way to be ignorant of all this is... Girard442 Oct 6 #5

We went through three miscarriages central scrutinizer Oct 6 #6

Uglicans *NEVER* understand these things UNTIL IT HAPPENS TO THEM. eppur_se_muova Oct 7 #95

Thank you! alwaysinasnit Oct 6 #7

And the already-born children, now without a mother. CrispyQ Oct 6 #8

Make this a talking point Blue Full Moon Oct 6 #31

It's not 'splaining when you answer questions, and I have one... Hugin Oct 6 #9

I can answer that. Yes. yardwork Oct 6 #14

I thought that was the case. Hugin Oct 6 #17

I had a uterine mole aka a molar pregnancy and had one. ❤️ littlemissmartypants Oct 6 #25

You see... Hugin Oct 6 #51

Happy to help, Hugin. ❤️ littlemissmartypants Oct 6 #77

Those are very rare. My MAGA ex sister in law had one and which had a 'stunted growth' fetus as well. flying_wahini Oct 6 #54

I had one. Lunabell Oct 6 #32

I'm so sorry, Lunabell. ❤️ littlemissmartypants Oct 6 #78

Thanks. Lunabell Oct 6 #83

I had to have a D&C. . . Collimator Oct 6 #26

A similar circumstance occurred to someone I knew years ago... Hugin Oct 6 #44

Yeah, uncontrolled bleeding during menopause comes to mind. flying_wahini Oct 6 #50

Yes. I just had one. Whatthe_Firetruck Oct 6 #74

Thank you for sharing your experience. Hugin Oct 6 #85

Yes, I had one because of a condition called fibrous tumors. summer_in_TX Oct 6 #94

It seems like there are a wide variety of conditions... Hugin Oct 7 #97

Thank you for this explanation... MiHale Oct 6 #10

This is important information that many of us men are smart enough to trust women and their docs to handle appropriately bluesbassman Oct 6 #11

If men had to experience childbirth or even a heavy menstrual period milestogo Oct 6 #12

My Catholic raised (but non-practicing) mom used to say: Cadfael Oct 6 #19

My Catholic mom had surgery after ectopic pregnancy, D&C after miscarriage, had her tubes tied after the 8th child SharonAnn Oct 6 #24

Stuff the Virgin Mary never told us. BattleRow Oct 6 #38

And there would be a clinic... 3catwoman3 Oct 6 #42

I don't think it is as much lack of empathy but a misunderstanding that abortions (D&C's) really is flying_wahini Oct 6 #56

Thank you. In NC the Republican state legislature wouldn't allow public comments. yardwork Oct 6 #13

I think refusing to hear expert input about these laws is deliberate. ShazzieB Oct 6 #34

Yeah, the "irresponsible sluts" who are married Wednesdays Oct 6 #52

This is a fantastically concise explanation -- thank you! LauraInLA Oct 6 #15

I'm one of those men who didn't know this stuff.. Permanut Oct 6 #16

Awesome explanation! Thank you so much! Tanuki Oct 6 #18

Thank you. K&R. c-rational Oct 6 #20

I don't resent you 'splainin' all that. 'Splain away, though I know most of it... Wounded Bear Oct 6 #21

I had a miscarriage at 22 weeks and my husband and I waited in the ER littlemissmartypants Oct 6 #22

Recced and book marked! LostOne4Ever Oct 6 #23

Thanks for this! ShazzieB Oct 6 #27

One of my siblings had two boys malaise Oct 6 #28

This should be all over social media. nolabear Oct 6 #29

Thank you! This is so useful MaryMagdaline Oct 6 #30

Debbie Reynolds' miscarriages prior to Roe vs Wade MaryMagdaline Oct 6 #33

Just because something is normal and even necessary doesn't mean it's SAFE Warpy Oct 6 #35

Thank you for explaining! Elessar Zappa Oct 6 #36

THIS should be published on the front page of every major newspaper - TBF Oct 6 #37

You did good, flying wahini. After Dobbs, I guess everybody here heard me explode I was so triggered... Hekate Oct 6 #39

Your poor mother. Yes, I knew of so many women that came in for their 8,9 tenth pregnancies flying_wahini Oct 6 #59

My mom's choice of family doc was a good man. Dr O was a Roman Catholic, but no fanatic... Hekate Oct 6 #67

This is why I have been on DU for 20 years. My wife had two miscarriages madinmaryland Oct 6 #40

Thank you for this explanation LogDog75 Oct 6 #41

This is an excellent OP. MontanaMama Oct 6 #43

Thank you so much for this post!! Sogo Oct 6 #45

Thank you. It made me cry. To be so helpless and at the mercy of these goddamn thugs Joinfortmill Oct 6 #46

I hate these chickenshit Dr.s who are scared to death to ACT. The Hippocratic Oath flying_wahini Oct 6 #60

Good info. Thank you for posting. FSogol Oct 6 #47

This bugs me, and please forgive me calling anyone here an idiot. rockbluff botanist Oct 6 #48

You know it occurred to me that maybe that is part of the problem. That men flying_wahini Oct 6 #62

Very interesting. I readily found the Emily Martin article from 1991, and look forward to reading it Hekate Oct 6 #71

But how do you square this with a pregnancy that results from rape? CTyankee Oct 6 #81

Well, maybe this is over-simlifying, Mr.Bill Oct 7 #103

I agree 100% on that for sure. CTyankee Oct 7 #104

Wow, interesting! electric_blue68 Oct 6 #90

That's excellent detail LittleGirl Oct 6 #49

K&R Bayard Oct 6 #53

Yea, they are hearing nothing at 6 weeks. Pumping from the placenta makes a kind of swooshing sound. flying_wahini Oct 6 #64

Thanks for that... learned a few things!! InAbLuEsTaTe Oct 6 #55

Could you, or someone, please make a graphic nonfiction book with clear illustrations, and personal stories, Timeflyer Oct 6 #57

As I mentioned earlier, maybe we should use the term D&C instead of 'abortion'. It might help get thru. flying_wahini Oct 6 #65

Those books already exist, but you might have to look in the Women's Health section of bookstores... Hekate Oct 6 #76

And honestly, we shouldn't have. Doctors get years Ilsa Oct 6 #91

It's cruel to make women have to face a long road trip right after dealing with these sorts of medical complications. nt Shermann Oct 6 #58

K&R canetoad Oct 6 #61

I would bet you that most of the men on SCOTUS don't understand it all. flying_wahini Oct 6 #66

Someone at my job taught me the perfect retort GAJMac Oct 6 #63

I think women need medical professionals that take charge in these situations. And angry husbands. flying_wahini Oct 6 #68

It makes no sense that anyone else should care what is happening in the patients life. flying_wahini Oct 6 #69

um, Kali Oct 6 #70

I stand corrected. The latest figures I just saw said 60% . We were taught tripled and I didn't recheck. flying_wahini Oct 6 #72

Might want to edit the OP. Ms. Toad Oct 6 #93

Dear op: It isn't a rant. It's plain old, B.See Oct 6 #73

People familiar with genealogy know what happened to women in the past wnylib Oct 6 #75

Thank you for this very clear and excellent explanation. A must read! HeartsCanHope Oct 6 #79

K & R - this is an excellent post FakeNoose Oct 6 #80

I don't think most Republicans consider this kind of care an 'Abortion'. They consider it birth control. flying_wahini Oct 6 #82

Lifetime maternal death rate used to be 50% IbogaProject Oct 6 #84

This coming from a nurse bdamomma Oct 6 #86

Thank you, excellent post wendyb-NC Oct 6 #87

Your post raises one question for me hvn_nbr_2 Oct 6 #88

Thanks. Good job. philly_bob Oct 6 #89

Good explanation. mdbl Oct 6 #92

The thing that gets me is, these MAGA crazies want women to die because they couldn't sustain a pregnancy. mucholderthandirt Oct 7 #96

woman'splaining means telling the truth if..fish..had..wings Oct 7 #98

Every GOP politician should read this. surfered Oct 7 #99

This is Great Mr. Mustard 2023 Oct 7 #100

Thank you Wild blueberry Oct 7 #101

Labor and delivery nurse friend KT2000 Oct 7 #102

Fantastic post. You put several points into context lostnfound Oct 8 #105