General Discussion

And I understand you did not straight up say I was giving you crap, but with that being your first sentence, I felt it was implied.

I wanted to understand the cruelty in the world. When the world is so unkind and cruel already, it feels (to me) it can always use more kindness and understanding.

As for me, I was nowhere near what you were. I believe the effects were cumulative. When I was much younger, I was in a car accident that left me bed ridden for 6 months. I have been in 13 car accidents (none of them my fault). Each one had effects on me. With this one, I was taken to the hospital by ambulance. My car was wrecked enough, it could not be driven. I expressed immense pain in the ER. They sent me away with valium (for relaxing my back, not for anything mental), two Motrin and a single lidocaine patch.

I have seen 13 different professionals, from a PTSD therapist to a concussion specialist, a neurologist, a PT and even a speech therapist. I have seen double of some. For example, I was in so much pain, my first PT said I was in too much pain to help.

My speech therapist asked what changed, when I seemed to have my pain under control. I told her I was doing Delta 8. At one point, we had another appointment and I was in tears. She asked what had changed. I told her I wanted to see if my pain had tapered off, so I was taking a week long break from Delta 8. She told me to get back in it immediately. Maybe it was her medical opinion. Maybe she remembered how she was the one who had to call in help, when I was suicidal from pain. Maybe both? Maybe something else, but as a medical professional: she realized in order for me to function, I needed this.

Then there were folks like my pain specialist. Before Delta 8, I decided if it were a choice between pain and sleep, I would just sleep. I started taking sleeping/pain pills every time I woke up. I told this to her, hoping she would think that must be a lot of pain and trying to figure out what we could do about it. Instead, she said it as abuse and said she would never give me pills. Well, I never asked for pills. The last thing I want is to be addicted. And I understand that the first time you ask for pills, they peg you as a drug addict, compare that to me telling my concussion dr about it (I knew he would be reading my chart and would see I was abusing sleeping pills). He asked the milligram of what I was taking. He asked how many times a day I was consuming them and how many. He told me I was fine!!!!

Because I could not sleep, I went into a sleep study. I told them it was due to pain, but that was procedure, I guess? They do not allow you any distractions. No tv. No music. Nothing. I was left in the dark, alone with my pain. I cried, in pain, for 8 hours straight. I used a whole box of tissues while drying my tears. I finally fell asleep, exhausted, for 15 minutes, at the 5:00 hour. I snored during that time. Mostly because I have nasal problems anyway, but who is not stuffed up after crying that long? Then the pain woke me up again. I was diagnosed with sleep apnea, instead of pain keeping me awake. Anyone would be stuffed up after that much crying.

At first, I would go days without brushing my hair or even my teeth, because I would collapse in tears every time I did that. I would reach for my soda and break into tears from the pain of doing that. I could not even tilt my head back to drink the soda, because my neck would hurt so badly. I bought straws. Something as small as washing a couple of dishes would leave me in a dizzying amount of pain: I use paper plates now. I am on month three of eating nothing but takeout, because it is just easier on me. I am not talking about takeout for supper. I mean every single meal has been takeout, for two months. Not because I enjoy it, but because cooking a meal is too strenuous, because even with Delta 8, I have pain, but the drug makes it tolerable.

That is just the pain portion of my accident. I have five different types of headache since my accident. I did not know there were five different types you could have! They can go as long as three days in a row: I have light sensitivity. I have a brain injury and more. My speech therapist says I have the top three reasons for memory problems. I have problems remembering my own husband’s name!

Everyone handles things differently and have a different pain tolerance. I remember talking to a woman who had had an abortion. She said she was against abortion, because she had had one and she had regrets, so no one else should be allowed to have one. I told her I had the choice, chose abortion and never had a second of regret, so I want everyone to have a choice. You and I both had/had pain. Get it. You do not want anyone else to have pain meds because of your beliefs. I want them to have access because of my experience and beliefs. All I know is I would not be here if it were not for Delta 8. It has allowed me to do basic things, like brush my teeth, wash my hair or put on clothing. (For a while, I went to apts and out and about in pajamas, because it hurt too much to change clothing. I have had to have my husband dress me. I have had him cut up meals and feed me, because the pain was too great for me to do it) it has allowed me to live and tolerate my pain. If the drs could have done something for me, that would have been my first path. Before this, I did not drink (unless my job as a mystery shopper required it) or smoke. I did not do drugs. I hated to be out of control in any way. I struggled with hating the feeling of being high, versus being able to tolerate the pain. At times I still struggle with that, but I do it because it allows me to live my life day to day and my life altogether - I did not kill myself.

I am glad you are happy with the way you live your life. It is good you found a path forward.

I hope you have a nice weekend.