The Rude Pundit: The MAGA Meltdown Over Jeffrey Epstein Is the Stupid Climax They Deserve: Bongino Agonistes [View all]

https://rudepundit.blogspot.com/2025/07/the-maga-meltdown-over-jeffrey-epstein.html

The Rude Pundit
Proudly lowering the level of political discourse
7/13/2025
The MAGA Meltdown Over Jeffrey Epstein Is the Stupid Climax They Deserve: Bongino Agonistes

snip//

So imagine how Bongino must have felt when the Department of Justice and the FBI, the government entity he is deputy director of, released a statement about its investigation into their files on Epstein and announced, "This systematic review revealed no incriminating 'client list.'" And I gotta tell ya: thinking about Bongino watching his entire world crumble in front of him, sledgehammered by people he thought were his allies, like Patel and our demigorgon of an Attorney General, Pam Bondi, that shit just makes me laugh. He had to deal with the fact that all these supposed friends who, like him, like Trump, like nausea personified, JD Vance, all who said that the list was real, who claimed they had seen the list, were either lying then or lying now. Bongino had already had the soul-wrecking moment of saying that Epstein killed himself, according to Patel's FBI. Now this. Fuck. I wish someone had recorded it because it would be my new porn.

Imagine it. Imagine when he understood like the rest of us that there are only 2 possibilities for saying there's no list: that there was never a list and he was played and played hard, like everyone in the MAGA movement has been, that he's a rube like the rest of them. Or that his beacon, his one true love, his idol, and his surrogate father Donald Trump is on the list, that Trump fucked kids, and so that list must be disappeared like so many migrants in South Sudan. And that Patel, of all the goddamn people, is good with this.

So he lost his shit. He reportedly blew up in meeting with Bondi and Trump Chief of Staff Susie Wiles and is considering resigning. He didn't show up for work on Friday. Trump claims he still is working for the FBI, but no statement has come from him.

And now Bongino, in a job he isn't remotely qualified for, has to face this reality: He can leave and return to the conspiracy-mongering, with an audience of pissed off, betrayed, potentially ex-MAGA freaks (but still freaks), awaiting a new leader. Or he can stay and, oh, fuck, this is just (chef's kiss) perfect, become part of the loathed Deep State.

This meltdown is everything Bongino deserves.