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57. Overgrown 12-year-old Kash Patel announces RIDICULOUS new plan to have UFC fighters train FBI agents!

Reply to demmiblue (Original post)

Thu Mar 12, 2026, 03:59 PM

Thursday

This is a stupid stunt

Link to tweet

FBI Director Kash Patel just announced the most unserious, clown-show "training" program in law enforcement history: a two-day "historic seminar" with the UFC at the FBI Academy in Quantico on March 15-16.

Agents and senior staff from around the world will now learn "fighting techniques and tactics" from Dana White's professional cage fighters to supposedly "better protect the American people."....

This comes right after Patel shamed himself by crashing the U.S. Men's Olympic hockey team's gold-medal locker room celebration in Italy.

Now he's turning the FBI's elite training facility into a mixed-martial-arts boot camp while the country deals with the consequences of Trump’s already disastrous war with Iran.
The UFC calls it part of the FBI's push for "exciting, innovative training options" to "revamp and improve" preparation.

Excuse me, what the hell does the UFC know about the serious work the FBI is supposed to be doing?

This is beyond unserious; it's just embarrassing. The FBI Director treating Quantico like a UFC tryout gym makes Patel and Trump look like complete idiots who think protecting America means learning how to throw elbows instead of doing actual police work.

While families bury their dead and the economy suffers, the administration is playing fight club with pro wrestlers.

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Highlight:

Kash Patel Confirms UFC Fighters Will Train FBI Agents This Week, Calling It A "Historic Opportunity" [View all] demmiblue Thursday OP

Historically stupid clown show Renew Deal Thursday #1

Ummm okay. 😳 MustLoveBeagles Thursday #2

I almost JustAnotherGen Thursday #3

I wonder who kacekwl Thursday #4

Will It Be As Much modrepub Thursday #42

It's so crazy I can't say the words. Diamond_Dog Thursday #5

When I'm at a loss for words...well..ya got me on this one. BattleRow Thursday #45

Maybe they can get this guy too... wcmagumba Thursday #6

Only if "historic" means another silly photo opportunity. nt BootinUp Thursday #7

The Monosphere is in control - and the results are pre dick table. 617Blue Thursday #8

I have another name for it. bluescribbler Thursday #32

Of course he is. Why not? Swede Thursday #9

How does that find a kidnapped woman? Johonny Thursday #10

You properly headlock your witnesses? leftstreet Thursday #19

So, I guess when the FBI agents get the boot they can always Baitball Blogger Thursday #11

Yeah I'm certain that the FBI has extensive hand-to-hand combat training underpants Thursday #28

The 11 year-olds are in charge Prairie Gates Thursday #12

Idiocracy got the timeline wrong. alittlelark Thursday #13

That's what I said first time I watched it FoxNewsSucks Thursday #31

These clowns are a national embarrassment malaise Thursday #14

Every time I see FBI agents... ruet Thursday #15

This is The Onion, YESSSS??? PLEASE tell me this is The Onion!!! niyad Thursday #16

How about teaching recruits... LudwigPastorius Thursday #17

Self-Defence Against Fresh Fruit Gaugamela Thursday #18

I checked and double checked to see if this was Borowitz (even though I just read today's Borowitz) or the Onion, Amaryllis Thursday #20

what next? UFC Night live from the White House will become a weekly thing? OGBuzz Thursday #21

All Circus ThoughtCriminal Thursday #22

They are going to train bean counters and lawyers to fight UFC style? Jacson6 Thursday #23

Rough times coming at FBI HQ... Buns_of_Fire Thursday #50

Had to google UFC. Have to do this a lot on DU. Thanks goodness for Goggle. efhmc Thursday #24

lolol Solly Mack Thursday #25

New techniques on how to body slam children and law abiding adults Deuxcents Thursday #26

Why not Lucha Libre wrestling training, too? They could wear those really cool masks! Ocelot II Thursday #27

What's the current anti-doping policy at the FBI? flvegan Thursday #29

I can't imagine the FBI folks being stupid enough to think this is interesting. Hope22 Thursday #30

All this UFC manly MMA training isn't going to stop bullets. Crowman2009 Thursday #33

I bet those agents can't wait to have ballsacks in their faces and some fighters have been known to shit their pants. chowder66 Thursday #34

Can't wait for the thumb wrestling tournaments!! chowder66 Thursday #35

I suppose that scrawny bug-eyed twerp thinks UFC is the height of manly manhood, Ocelot II Thursday #36

What will they charge for 'consulting'? Bobstandard Thursday #37

ding ding ding, we have a winner! Eugene Friday #58

Yes, let's sharpen our tough guy image. pandr32 Thursday #38

Why? C_U_L8R Thursday #39

Can't wait to see Beef Supreme ... sleroy49 Thursday #40

Just f*ck!ng ridiculous... maspaha Thursday #41

This maladministration thinks it's a reality television show. LoisB Thursday #43

Great.... multigraincracker Thursday #44

Frickin' show fighters Alansworld Thursday #46

"show fighters" LudwigPastorius Thursday #48

Seems like there objective is to make it look "good" for tv (assuming you think show fighting is good tv) blue_jay Thursday #55

Hold someone down and beat them till they tap out? Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin Thursday #47

Kra$h Partel! Kid Berwyn Thursday #49

I hope the F.B.I. agents kick their ass. pwb Thursday #51

This is like a stale lounge act Keepthesoulalive Thursday #52

;-{).... Goonch Thursday #53

More dumbfuckery Bristlecone Thursday #54

They should read some books instead. IcyPeas Thursday #56

Overgrown 12-year-old Kash Patel announces RIDICULOUS new plan to have UFC fighters train FBI agents! LetMyPeopleVote Thursday #57