General Discussion

PatSeg

(53,500 posts)

47. Good point

Tue May 12, 2026, 04:35 PM

Tuesday

And I've known some "single fathers" who received a great deal of sympathy and compassion for raising kids on their own, while the "single mothers" were often looked down upon and even discriminated against in the workforce.

I once had a male co-worker who was doing the same job I did. We both had equal experience, but he was paid considerably more than me. My boss justified the wage disparity because Joe* was married and I wasn't. But Joe had no children and his wife worked fulltime in the same business, whereas I was raising a small child on my own.

Joe made a lot of mistakes and didn't last very long. He didn't have to try harder, because he was a guy. Meanwhile, I was dirt poor and struggling. I saw such things happen over and over again.

* I don't recall his name anymore, but "Joe" sounds close enough.

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Stop saying "single mothers" [View all] CousinIT Monday OP

Excellent point. 3catwoman3 Monday #1

Single moms are single for all sorts of reasons, and just because she's a "single mom" doesn't mean the dad isn't in the WhiskeyGrinder Monday #2

Message auto-removed Name removed Monday #4

pointing out sexism doesn't mean you "hate men" Skittles Monday #6

Message auto-removed Name removed Monday #10

LOL Skittles Monday #11

Post removed Post removed Tuesday #13

Fox News, Newsmax, et al, will never be able to teach them subtlety, will they? Aristus Tuesday #43

they can't help themselves Skittles Tuesday #46

Too bad they bounced before you could kick their asses! Aristus Tuesday #49

I do enjoy taunting some of them Skittles Tuesday #52

It's referring to absentee fathers. Quiet Em Tuesday #15

THIS. Exactly. n/t CousinIT Tuesday #33

It still centers the male role or lack there of. LuvLoogie Tuesday #79

Single mother, single father, single parent in my understanding has always been meant as the sole parent Quiet Em Tuesday #12

I don't see it that way Skittles Tuesday #27

My father - a Dad, Grandpa and Great-Grandpa - used to ask a "drop-dead question".... Bluejeans Monday #3

divorced dads are only a "problem" if they don't help to support their child Skittles Monday #5

I can't un-alert this post. silverweb Tuesday #73

HEH Skittles Tuesday #80

I'm glad for that! silverweb Wednesday #111

This is akin to saying "bastard child" Seinan Sensei Monday #7

or "illegitimate" Skittles Monday #9

Doesn't this assume the father had a choice? Renew Deal Monday #8

In those cases, the single parent is referred to as a "widow" or "widower", not a "single mother" CousinIT Tuesday #29

A "widow" doesn't describe a person with a child. Renew Deal Tuesday #34

actually, no. 'single mother' is a broad and encompassing term stopdiggin Wednesday #101

Damn straight!!! calimary Tuesday #14

Are you claiming that every time there is a single mother, it is because a man is to blame? Doodley Tuesday #81

No. calimary Tuesday #96

As of 2024-2025, there are approximately 3.3 million to 7.4 million families with a single father in the U.S. Doodley Tuesday #97

As of 2024-2025, there are approximately 3.3 million to 7.4 million families with a single father in the U.S. Doodley Tuesday #98

Good to know! calimary Tuesday #99

Absolutely not. NH Ethylene Tuesday #16

Exactly. The malevolent MAGA minded use B.See Yesterday #112

Exactly. An achievement to be proud of. NH Ethylene Yesterday #113

if the term 'single mother' is shallow, 'targeting' and singularly undescriptive ... stopdiggin Tuesday #17

absentee was the key word. If a parent, a Mom or Dad is absentee Quiet Em Tuesday #18

how about a person that is serving in the military stopdiggin Tuesday #23

If both parents are active and not absentee in their children's lives Quiet Em Tuesday #24

assumptions - accompanied by narrowing and restricted definition .... stopdiggin Tuesday #25

But the OP headline and text of the meme are making no such distinctions AZJonnie Tuesday #28

I am a single father BeneteauBum Tuesday #19

Message auto-removed Name removed Tuesday #50

I agree. BeneteauBum Tuesday #56

Message auto-removed Name removed Tuesday #58

Denying the alcoholism and losing custody was a big wake up call. BeneteauBum Tuesday #63

And if the father died? And if the father isn't the one responsible for the breakup in the relationship? This looks Doodley Tuesday #20

If the father died, she's called a "widow", not a single mother. But you know that. n/t CousinIT Tuesday #30

Okay so my mother wasn't a single parent after all. Glad you put me straight. Doodley Tuesday #36

She was widowed, she wasn't single obamanut2012 Tuesday #40

My mother didn't want to go round telling people she was a widow. It isn't for you or Doodley Tuesday #83

What if she wasn't married to him ? JI7 Tuesday #55

The label police will decide what she should be called. Doodley Tuesday #85

No, she is called both widow AND single mother. Its common lexicon for all the situations. FascismIsDeath Tuesday #84

Thank you for saying that. This fixation on labels is absurd. Doodley Tuesday #88

It isn't "man hating" -- just stop obamanut2012 Tuesday #39

. Scrivener7 Tuesday #78

Sometimes, single women are mothers by choice. Wouldn't they indeed be "single mothers?" littlemissmartypants Tuesday #21

Yes, they are single mothers by choice Quiet Em Tuesday #22

Exactly. Single mothers (even if it's a choice) are looked upon with derision. CousinIT Tuesday #31

Good point PatSeg Tuesday #47

Because somebody somewhere will be offended. Doodley Tuesday #38

Who will be offended? obamanut2012 Tuesday #41

Would you be offended? Doodley Tuesday #89

Sometimes they're single because they're not married...like everybody else who's single...lol. Iggo Wednesday #106

Exactly. As opposed to... littlemissmartypants Wednesday #107

Wowzer. We live in an anti-woman, slut-and responsibility-shaming Abolishinist Tuesday #26

We do... CousinIT Tuesday #32

This kind of stuff is definitely a big reason that people get turned off from our side. FascismIsDeath Tuesday #87

The outrage over labels is one reason we lose elections. Doodley Tuesday #90

I do think people quinteroon Tuesday #35

Agreed. And a man bringing up children on his own is also a single parent. Doodley Tuesday #37

Woman, not female obamanut2012 Tuesday #42

Excuse me? quinteroon Tuesday #45

How ever hard we try, there's always somebody who will be offended. Doodley Tuesday #91

Men who fear women frequently use the word "female" which is not so scary to them as "woman.". hunter Tuesday #64

Message auto-removed Name removed Tuesday #66

Is the word "male" on the banned list too? Doodley Tuesday #93

you're correct (even if perhaps preaching to the wrong congregation) stopdiggin Wednesday #100

This thread did not disapoint... radicalleft Tuesday #44

Message auto-removed Name removed Tuesday #67

There is no 'single' One is either a mother or not. One is a father or not. BUT Republicans LOVE the Blame Game. dave99 Tuesday #48

Hear, hear! ZDU Tuesday #51

And yet "single mother" is accurate regardless of the reason they are raising a child or children alone. Jedi Guy Tuesday #53

I'm glad to read your post Sparkly Tuesday #59

Thank you for saying so. This is like a page out of 1984. Doodley Tuesday #94

I think it's the insinuation of "shame" that needs to change ... Sparkly Tuesday #54

I was a single teen mom, and I wouldn't have wanted my daughter's status to be linked to her very absentee (in our case) deurbano Tuesday #75

How about Single Parent??????? NC popsdenver Tuesday #57

Message auto-removed Name removed Tuesday #60

Isn't the father also a single father??? Unrepentant Fenian Tuesday #61

There is nothing wrong with the term. It is not seen as negative JI7 Tuesday #62

Truly, I have never heard anyone shame single mothers. CozyMystery Tuesday #65

Thank you, CousinIT, for standing up for women, and being willing to bring up challenges to the status quo. love_katz Tuesday #68

Why does mom have a colostomy bag that she's wearing outside her Maru Kitteh Tuesday #69

I was wondering what that was. Now I have to wonder why it's in the illustration... betsuni Tuesday #76

I should've scrolled down Sympthsical Wednesday #103

Because the image is most likely AI slop. littlemissmartypants Wednesday #109

So I can't say "single mother" anymore or flvegan Tuesday #70

"woman who made good post-child decision and rid her life of that male scum" Abolishinist Tuesday #86

You illustrate the absurdity perfectly! And how are the children supposed to feel with those labels? Doodley Tuesday #95

I never thought of the term as sexist, anti-woman, or slut before this thread. nt Gore1FL Tuesday #71

I still don't think it is n/t Polybius Tuesday #72

They are still "single mothers." They aren't married to the dad and they have children. valleyrogue Tuesday #74

Right on! MLAA Tuesday #77

There is not one microscopic drop of sexism, demonization or anything anti-woman about the term "single mother". FascismIsDeath Tuesday #82

Thank you, very well said. Abolishinist Tuesday #92

This feels like building a useless gate Sympthsical Wednesday #102

I have no doubt that at this very moment a cogent response Abolishinist Wednesday #110

Um, no. Mike Niendorff Wednesday #104

There's nothing wrong with "single mothers." Iggo Wednesday #105

Message auto-removed Name removed Wednesday #108