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highplainsdem

(63,183 posts)
21. It's possible you missed some when you were griefstricken. But there are some things that can help
Sat May 16, 2026, 04:12 PM
May 16

make you more open:

Meditate - whatever type works best for you.

Try the butterfly hug EMDR technique, which to me seems to give results something like instant meditation: https://www.debbieaugenthaler.com/toolbox-2/

Put a focus on gratitude/appreciation, whether making lists of what you're grateful for or just focusing on appreciation for a few moments.

Don't stress yourself watching for signs, because that might block them. And keep in mind that spirits' perspective on time is different. From their perspective on the other side, loved ones will be reunited with them soon, no matter how many years pass.

A relative of mine who believed in an afterlife but was skeptical that our pets' spirits can visit suddenly found herself looking at a cat she'd lost to cancer years earlier. The cat appeared at her feet, one evening while she was watching TV, and just sat there looking at her for a few moments, then vanished. A friend of mine who'd had a cat vanish during a storm had its spirit return a few weeks later as he and his wife were in their living room on a sunny morning; they both felt the cat rub against their legs and looked down to see its translucent form. And a neighbor who lost a cat to heart trouble felt it jump on her bed and curl up at her side, purring, invisible, but there every night for a couple of weeks after it crossed over.

I don't believe there's any transition point beyond which spirits can't communicate with people here.

And sometimes signs can happen when you are thinking or even talking about them. A couple of decades ago I was talking to a neighbor who'd lost her husband to a heart attack several months earlier when he was doing yardwork in the fall. I'd only recently learned about signs myself, and while talking to her learned that both she and her grown daughter had had signs from him that it took them months to mention to each other. I mentioned signs like animals including butterflies acting in odd ways. It was spring, a nice day, and she was sitting on a lawn chair on her driveway, watching her grown son mow her lawn while her granddaughter played nearby. There were some flowers blooming on the other side of the yard, but no butterflies in sight. Then, only a minute or two after I'd mentioned butterflies, the largest butterfly I've ever seen in my life landed on the driveway light on the front of the garage, directly over my neighbor's head. We both stared up at it after it landed, neither of us saying whether we thought it was a sign. We talked about different subjects for maybe fifteen minutes or so before I left. She was still sitting there, the butterfly still perched on that light above her. She'd looked up at it occasionally as we talked, and I thought I saw tears in her eyes once.

It could have been a coincidence, but it was one hell of a coincidence.

Not everyone gets signs, or recognizes them. But I've heard too many stories from people I know - all ages, all walks of life, all beliefs or lack of belief - to doubt them. Most people won't talk about them unless they have some confidence they won't be ridiculed for describing their personal experiences.

Recommendations

7 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

Don't sell yourself short Bettie May 16 #1
Hugs to you Ilsa sdfernando May 16 #2
Exactly understated, the same way a superhero would put it. Doing all you could was a lot. That's what a superhero... marble falls May 16 #3
Thank you for bringing us along on this journey, Ilsa. calimary May 16 #4
Not all superhero folks wear capes! ZDU May 16 #5
Emotional support is what keeps all of us sane, Ilsa UpInArms May 16 #6
It's okay. A steady presence has as much positive effect as a superhero. haele May 16 #7
Just to share FullySupportDems May 16 #8
indeed NJCher May 16 #9
Crying is cathartic. Sharing helps release the tears wnylib May 16 #10
You provided emotional support to your family Niagara May 16 #11
Again, thank you for any support to Paul LetMyPeopleVote May 16 #12
Thank you for sharing. CaptainTruth May 16 #13
You carried an incredible burden, with grace Ilsa. JMCKUSICK May 16 #14
Thank You for sharing. I was unaware of his passing. I often liked and commented on his posts. My condolences. ChicagoTeamster May 16 #15
We can't even be everything for our own selves. IbogaProject May 16 #16
Ilsa, you did everything you could. That makes you a hero. Superheroes are fictional and are only highplainsdem May 16 #17
I've been looking for signs for 3 years. No joy, yet. Ilsa May 16 #18
It's possible you missed some when you were griefstricken. But there are some things that can help highplainsdem May 16 #21
Thanks for this share blue_jay May 16 #23
sometimes the signs are there for us but we don't make the connection to our loved ones. orleans May 17 #30
That was so funny. Ilsa May 17 #32
Just want to say that, Through the power of your own words, we know exactly how good a person you are! bluestarone May 16 #19
Wishing you comfort and peace from here on out. You've been through a lot. 10 Turtle Day May 16 #20
You were there for emotional support BeneteauBum May 16 #22
you're a good sister Skittles May 16 #24
You're a wonderful sister. Even given your shock and heartbreak, you came here to let us know. lapucelle May 16 #25
You did what you could MustLoveBeagles May 16 #26
My philosophy... oldsoldierfadingfast May 16 #27
Oh! Missed this. My condolences. electric_blue68 May 16 #28
Oh JustAnotherGen May 16 #29
I am sorry about Texas Towelie.nt jfz9580m May 17 #31
I am sorry Ilsa jfz9580m Monday #33
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