General Discussion

The best way to connect on a human level is to connect on life stories. Instead of trading conflicting conclusions and arguing positions, ask what led the person to come to their conclusion. Listen. Don't interrupt. Refrain from "gotcha" questions. Ask questions that feel genuinely "curious."

Then ask if they'd be willing to hear what experiences led you to the opposite conclusion. Being able to do that -- to tell a bit of your own journey -- actually helps solidify your own reasons for holding the beliefs you hold.

And when speaking to someone who seemingly "changed" on you, you can express your feelings about that.

It is about telling your truth and being open to hearing their truth.

And sometimes that ends in "I'm getting too angry/upset/sad" and need to take a break -- and perhaps "I just need to let go of trying to understand. I am too emotional."

It's called braver angels for a reason because it does take a measure of bravery.

Don't expect to change any minds. That is not what bridging is about. But you may gain an appreciation that helps you see those on the "other side" with greater understanding.

And paradoxically, when you don't try to change someone's mind, and just genuinely share where you are coming from, sometimes minds change.

And for an example of one woman's amazing bravery, I offer Deeyah Khan:

My documentary about White Supremacy. White Right: Meeting the Enemy.-
Deeyah Khan