It's not that hard to understand that in certain instances it's obviously a sarcastic slur on people, like Linsey Graham, who think it's something to be ashamed of and not a slur at actual gay people.
Try to get the joke. Because I've heard many gay people (I'm gay BTW)) make it.... and it was obvious to me that is what they meant. I'm not gonna censor them. I assure you nobody really cares what Linsey Graham's sexual preference is.... I sure don't. But they do care, and make a joke, that HE is all uptight about people's preference.
Your premise that everyone who tells such jokes are homophobes is flawed.
You may think it's a tacky joke, and that's fine. (my personal reaction is "meh... think of another one"
But insisting that everybody think as you do is not fine.
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