General Discussion

Last edited Tue Oct 10, 2017, 11:49 PM - Edit history (1)

http://www.cs.brandeis.edu/~hornby/amuse/story_snow.txt
A SOUTHERNER MOVES UP NORTH


Dec 8 5:00 pm - it's starting to snow. The first of the season and
the first one we've seen in years. The wife and I took our hot
buttered rums and sat by the picture window watching the soft flakes
drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was
beautiful!

Dec 9 We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering
the
landscape. What a fantastic site. Every tree and shrub covered with a
beautiful white mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in years
and loved it. I shoveled both our drive and sidewalk. Later, a city
snowplow came along and accidentally covered our drive with compacted
snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved back and
shoveled our drive again.

Dec 10 It snowed an additional 6 inches last night and the
temperature
has dropped to about 11 degrees. Several limbs from the trees and
shrubs snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shoveled again.
Shortly after, the snowplow came by and did his trick again. Much of
the snow is now brownish-gray.

Dec 11 It warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which
soon became ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tires
for both cars. Fell on my ass in the driveway. $145
to a chiropractor but nothing broken. More snow and ice expected.

Dec 12 Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought a 4X4 in order to
get
her to work. Slid into a guardrail anyway and did considerable amount
of damage to the right rear quarter pane. Had another 8 inches of that
white shit last night. Both vehicles covered with salt and crud. More
shoveling in store for me today. That goddam snowplow came by twice
today.

Dec 13 2 degrees outside. More fuckin' snow. Not a tree or shrub on
my
property that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night.
Tried to keep from freezing to death with a kerosene heater which
tipped over and nearly burned the house down. I managed to put the
flames out but suffered 2'nd degree burns on my hands and lost most of
my eyelashes and eyebrows. Car slid on ice on the way to the emergency
room and was totalled!!

Dec 14 Goddam mother-fuckin' white shit keeps on coming down. Have to
put
on all the clothes we own just to get to the fucking mailbox. If
I ever catch the son-of-a-bitch that drives the snowplow, I'll chew
open his chest and rip his heart out. I think he hides around the
corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then comes down the
street about 60 MPH and buries our drive again. Power still off.
Toilet froze and part of the roof has started to cave in.

Dec 15 6 goddam more fuckin' inches of fuckin' snow and fuckin' sleet
and
fuckin' ice and god knows what other kind of white fuckin's shit fell
last night. I wounded the fuckin' snowplow asshole with an ice axe but
he got away. Wife left me. The car won't start. I think I'm going
snow-blind. I can't move my toes. More fucking snow expected tonight.
I'm moving the fuck back to Texas!!!