General Discussion

riderinthestorm

(23,272 posts)

136. No mental illness, she's just fearless. Absolutely fearless.

Sat Jul 21, 2012, 04:57 PM

Jul 2012

Wants to "try it all" in life and not die of boredom or a dull life (her words). If she makes it out of high school sober, my great fear is that she'll be part of the "27 Club". She's my wild one for sure.

I saw downthread that you have an alarm system on your house - my daughter has just walked through the alarm in the past and taken off at 2 am for drugs and parties. She's climbed out her window and jumped off the porch roof too in order to get out and "live life". My husband and I spent 6 months taking turns staying awake in shifts overnight.

We still sleep with the keys to all vehicles under our pillows and the bikes are locked every night after she used to just take them (as a 14 year old. Farm kids learn to drive everything so she's completely confident on everything from tractors, trucks, cars, scooters, golf cart etc). After we locked down our transport she simply hitched rides - truly terrifying ("its fun Mom!" she'd say with a snarl. "I'm fine! You meet the most interesting guys that way!&quot

Fast track to being dead.

But yeah, rehab seems to have stopped the rapid descent into a death spiral. She's still randomly drug tested by the counselors so I know she's clean. She's always stayed on track at school - still gets straight A's, excels in theater and drama etc. so at least we're not climbing out of that hole too.

Right now we've had a really good summer. I know better than to think this will be how it is forever but I'm deeply grateful for this time.

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curfew for a 17 yr old. ??? will be a senior in high school [View all] seabeyond Jul 2012 OP

In high school, mine was midnight unless I discussed it with my parents in advance. Brickbat Jul 2012 #1

i am so glad i did this poll and only three people have posted, lol seabeyond Jul 2012 #4

Yep. My 2 cents; keep it variable depending on the circumstances. elehhhhna Jul 2012 #106

oh seabeyond Jul 2012 #109

Exact same policy in my house. Butterbean Jul 2012 #63

When I was in college and living away from home... CaliforniaPeggy Jul 2012 #2

ya, but you were in college and away from parents, lol. seabeyond Jul 2012 #5

10:00pm on a regular school night, provided homework is already done. Midnight/1am on a weekend or GreenPartyVoter Jul 2012 #3

in highschool??? lol seabeyond Jul 2012 #8

Yeah, in high school. :^) Of course, living in a rural area there wasn't anything to go do GreenPartyVoter Jul 2012 #49

(Well, not anything that would get you arrested or pregnant. ) seabeyond Jul 2012 #51

oops! Late-nite typo. Mean to say "wouldN'T" because yeah, that's GreenPartyVoter Jul 2012 #56

oh, lmfao. that is so very funny. son wanted to know why seabeyond Jul 2012 #62

in the teen recovery community they say : elehhhhna Jul 2012 #108

ya. i have heard that. seabeyond Jul 2012 #112

Those were my times as well. n/t ChazII Jul 2012 #9

Seem reasonable enough, if you have a kid who needs 8 hrs of sleep and has to be up for school @ 6am GreenPartyVoter Jul 2012 #52

school nights i am much more strict, with homework and getting up early seabeyond Jul 2012 #64

My own mother had an odd way of handling this. My brother and I never were allowed to have Booster Jul 2012 #6

that is a creative hoot. and that is not gonna happen, lol. funny seabeyond Jul 2012 #11

I know I always thought it was just a little cold. lol Booster Jul 2012 #15

lol. a little, lol. ah ha seabeyond Jul 2012 #27

Why set an arbitrary time? rug Jul 2012 #7

i always know what he is "supposed" to be doing. i am well connected. seabeyond Jul 2012 #14

I understand the notion of being home at a reasonable time. rug Jul 2012 #21

i hear ya. seabeyond Jul 2012 #29

Mine was 12 but I was allowed to stay out later in rare situations SoutherDem Jul 2012 #10

12 seems to be the going time. seabeyond Jul 2012 #16

It would depend largely on the kid. JoeyT Jul 2012 #12

ya. this kid has never done anything for me not to trust him and is incredibly responsible seabeyond Jul 2012 #17

raised two teenaged girls that didn't get into any trouble before or after they graduated. progressivebydesign Jul 2012 #13

i was being swayed seabeyond Jul 2012 #20

I didn't have a curfew. tammywammy Jul 2012 #18

work is different. seabeyond Jul 2012 #23

One of my best friends in HS was a guy tammywammy Jul 2012 #33

that is funny.... seabeyond Jul 2012 #39

My kids didn't either. We just worked it out on an ad-hoc basis. pnwmom Jul 2012 #24

, I wanted to know when they would be driving. seabeyond Jul 2012 #32

At 17 Go Vols Jul 2012 #19

17 i had graduated, too. that is another something that makes it a little more tricky. seabeyond Jul 2012 #25

My girl is about to turn 17 going into 11th grade Sedona Jul 2012 #22

The friend's parents can wait up seabeyond Jul 2012 #26

I never wanted an arbitrary curfew to be a reason for a child to drive too fast pnwmom Jul 2012 #28

him/her call if s/he'd be later, seabeyond Jul 2012 #35

My kids aren't allowed to go out on school nights. That's homework time riderinthestorm Jul 2012 #30

good stuff. thanks. midnight seems to be winning seabeyond Jul 2012 #36

Its pretty hard to gauge. My oldest girl was a 16 year old senior in high school riderinthestorm Jul 2012 #44

(so far she's handled it beautifully) seabeyond Jul 2012 #50

Aww, you actually remembered?? I'm humbled riderinthestorm Jul 2012 #72

“very chill” seabeyond Jul 2012 #75

Oh yeah, that's her riderinthestorm Jul 2012 #79

sometimes seabeyond Jul 2012 #125

No mental illness, she's just fearless. Absolutely fearless. riderinthestorm Jul 2012 #136

wow. just wow. lol seabeyond Jul 2012 #138

Well we're like that. We're pros in an extreme sport so we "model" risk taking daily riderinthestorm Jul 2012 #142

thanks rider. seabeyond Jul 2012 #143

Since it's summertime, and if he or she doesn't have to be somewhere the next morning rocktivity Jul 2012 #31

thanks... seabeyond Jul 2012 #37

Our daughters had an 11pm curfew, but was changed to midnight once they turned 18... cynatnite Jul 2012 #34

i am comfortable with 11. seabeyond Jul 2012 #38

city curfew in my area is 10 on week nights, 12 on weekend. grasswire Jul 2012 #40

It's nice to have a city curfew. seabeyond Jul 2012 #41

ours is 16 and under. nt seabeyond Jul 2012 #42

curfews Go Vols Jul 2012 #43

parents that "let them go" are much more laid back than i am, lol. cant be done. but, i admire seabeyond Jul 2012 #45

I had a father Go Vols Jul 2012 #55

that is funny.... well, not if you are the one seabeyond Jul 2012 #65

ya, right loli, i am calling you out on your vote. ya you... seabeyond Jul 2012 #46

it is interesting some of the names, with what we hear from them, the time they choose. this is fun seabeyond Jul 2012 #47

At age 17 I had no curfew - I had already moved out of the house and down to Texas. Tx4obama Jul 2012 #48

i was on my own at 17. seabeyond Jul 2012 #54

My memory is pretty bad -this was only just over a decade ago RFKHumphreyObama Jul 2012 #53

sounds good. i had to laugh though, seabeyond Jul 2012 #59

I don't remember having one. Warpy Jul 2012 #57

that seems to be the consensus. nt seabeyond Jul 2012 #66

1:00 sounds about right. Drunken Irishman Jul 2012 #58

like i am gonna listen to a drunken irishman, lol. seabeyond Jul 2012 #68

That's when last call is here. ;) Drunken Irishman Jul 2012 #69

1 hour before the parents' bedtime JVS Jul 2012 #60

that is an interesting parenting technique. nt seabeyond Jul 2012 #70

For a kid you pretty much trust, I think midnight is good...17's is a reasonably mature age Rowdyboy Jul 2012 #61

thanks rowdy.... seabeyond Jul 2012 #71

I never had a curfew either. wickerwoman Jul 2012 #67

knowing how tired I was driving 40 minutes on the freeway at 7am seabeyond Jul 2012 #73

I chose midnight Irishonly Jul 2012 #74

he was very responsible and never had done anything to make us not have trust. seabeyond Jul 2012 #77

No curfew alcibiades_mystery Jul 2012 #76

ok, summer after he graduates, before college. promise, lol. nt seabeyond Jul 2012 #78

I understand your point alcibiades_mystery Jul 2012 #80

you are so fuckin funny... lol lol seabeyond Jul 2012 #81

Mine was "call and inform by such-and-such a time" if there wasn't something already set up Posteritatis Jul 2012 #87

Hey, I set my own curfew at 10 on week nights. Live and Learn Jul 2012 #82

I didn't have one... Chan790 Jul 2012 #83

During school Smilo Jul 2012 #84

so what is the rule you gave for your kid? snooper2 Jul 2012 #85

husband had it at 10:30, but that was set seabeyond Jul 2012 #88

I don't know the magic number but I will say.. peace13 Jul 2012 #86

no curfew noamnety Jul 2012 #89

I didn't set a curfew either WCIL Jul 2012 #90

My sons had 10pm during the week. HappyMe Jul 2012 #91

our town curfew is 16 and under. midnight here. nt seabeyond Jul 2012 #100

I think the town curfew was for kids under 18, iirc. HappyMe Jul 2012 #107

school nights really are not a problem in this house. son has practice early morning and after seabeyond Jul 2012 #113

Yeah, my sons rarely went out during the week. HappyMe Jul 2012 #117

I knew all their friends parents, seabeyond Jul 2012 #119

The only thing I would add Tsiyu Jul 2012 #92

i talked to him some lst night. i am glad i started this OP to hear all these opinions. seabeyond Jul 2012 #99

And remember, he's probably old enough Tsiyu Jul 2012 #121

thank you tsiyu. seabeyond Jul 2012 #128

12 would be late ona school night but... Mimosa Jul 2012 #133

I didn't really have a curfew in high school. MineralMan Jul 2012 #93

i talked to him last night after he got home. seabeyond Jul 2012 #98

Now, that's embarrassing for him. MineralMan Jul 2012 #118

ya. i just was behind on asking questions. seabeyond Jul 2012 #120

Our city is a little rough. Curfew is 11 o'clock and enforced by the police. hunter Jul 2012 #94

really, my biggest concern is not my son, but others out at the late hour. seabeyond Jul 2012 #97

Midnight at the latest ellie Jul 2012 #95

i kinda like 11:30. half hour before the witching hour, lol. nt seabeyond Jul 2012 #96

School week 11 Week end 12-1230 BUT load them with activities benld74 Jul 2012 #101

As a teen, my curfew was 10 on school nights, midnight otherwise Cairycat Jul 2012 #102

I went with midnight when my kids were that age. crim son Jul 2012 #103

curfew would have been changed to 9:00, however seabeyond Jul 2012 #105

My kids had a 10:00 curfew on school nights and whatever the law allowed on weekends. Arkansas Granny Jul 2012 #104

What my dad did worked beautifully proud2BlibKansan Jul 2012 #110

If you demonstrate that you can't do that, I'll give you a curfew. seabeyond Jul 2012 #114

Somewhat similar at my house when I was growing up SickOfTheOnePct Jul 2012 #141

My son's curfew at 17 was 10:00 weeknights,11 sufrommich Jul 2012 #111

i think i am settlin on 11:30 seabeyond Jul 2012 #115

10 is resonable hour. DiverDave Jul 2012 #116

It kinda depends on when the parent(s) are going to sleep Motown_Johnny Jul 2012 #122

lol, seabeyond Jul 2012 #126

My friend's son learned how to turn off the alarm and the little "beep" when the door opens Motown_Johnny Jul 2012 #139

you should touch base with them each night seabeyond Jul 2012 #140

I said "No curfew", but it merits an explanation SickOfTheOnePct Jul 2012 #123

10 on school nights, midnight on weekends MadrasT Jul 2012 #124

A curfew? Alright! Another way to dis my parents!!! Scuba Jul 2012 #127

??? why is that? nt seabeyond Jul 2012 #129

kids are rebellious, forbidden fruit and all that.... Scuba Jul 2012 #132

my kids are not particularly rebellous. and they are not wimps either, lol. seabeyond Jul 2012 #134

Sounds like you get it. Good luck. Scuba Jul 2012 #137

I had no curfew. Quantess Jul 2012 #130

Actually I think it's more important to focus on good decision making. Turbineguy Jul 2012 #131

good post. seabeyond Jul 2012 #135

School night..10PM..Fri & Sat midnight nt SoCalDem Jul 2012 #144

Our town had a 10 pm curfew for kids frogmarch Jul 2012 #145