Latest Breaking News

* Ballots filled out on Sundays should not be accepted.
* Ballots accepted at drive-up ballot drop-off sites are limited to those coming from people driving pickup trucks.
* Ballots from spouses must match or, if they don't, the husband's votes overrule.
* Ballots from same-sex couples and single people will not be accepted.
* Ballots filled out, mailed, or hand-delivered by people wearing fingernail polish will not be accepted since the nail polish could affect the calibration of ballot-scanning machinery.
* Ballots from foreign nationals residing in NATO-member countries will not be accepted.
* Mailed ballots postmarked on days of the week ending in "-day" will not be accepted.
* In-person voting will not be allowed by those who Pytor, sitting over in the corner, doesn't like the look of.