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The Madcap

(2,079 posts)

56. There is indeed golf in Hell.

Mon May 18, 2026, 11:55 AM

May 18

1. All the fairways are thick crabgrass and are only 20 feet wide.
2. Both sides of the fairway are jungle thicker than the Amazon rainforest, savage oceans full of great white sharks, or sand traps resembling the Sahara.
3. The greens are the size of a typical suburban driveway and are like a rubber mat. Any ball that hits them will immediately bounce off.
4. There are no carts.
5. There are no caddies.
6. There is no alcohol.
7. The holes are the same diameter as the golf balls plus about 2mm, allowing them to fit, but the putts have to be perfect.
8. Since it's Hell, every golfing day is hot, blazing hot, melting your scalp hot (and no stupid red hats allowed).
9. Every hole is 500+ yards long.
10. Every hole is a par 3.
11. Once you start a round, you have to finish all 18 holes. No turning back.
12. There is always an extremely slow foursome ahead of you and one obnoxious one behind you.
13. No holes are straight.
14. A round costs more than a month's rent in Hell, which is more than a San Francisco apartment in Hell Dollars.
15. Everyone playing is a better and more important person than you are.

Yes, there is golf in Hell...may he "enjoy" it when he gets there.

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electric_blue68

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Highlight:

Trump Snubs His Big Faith Event to Go Golfing [View all] BumRushDaShow May 17 OP

Why should "god" attend his own event? ananda May 17 #1

Or he is afrsid that God will smite him for hypocrisy. wnylib May 18 #60

The next church service he attends Bluestocking May 17 #2

Hope that's SOON ! KS Toronado May 17 #18

Not soon enough! buzzycrumbhunger May 17 #26

And, he'll probably... moonbatmax May 17 #29

Or it'll be like J. Edgar Hoover's peppertree May 18 #33

Oh! Didn't know about the casket! electric_blue68 May 18 #57

Oh, yeah. The pall bearers were all white - as his insistence. peppertree May 18 #64

Wow, I had no idea! But looking at his younger photos I can see... electric_blue68 May 18 #66

You bet. peppertree May 18 #67

And the first non photo op staged by handlers JT45242 May 18 #41

They'll screw that up. SergeStorms May 18 #54

"I'm a good christian, and I am." MLWR May 17 #3

Pedo threatens an entire nation of 90 millions... very Christian of him... Justice matters. May 17 #23

Except attending Sunday services at Our Lady of Mar a lago. BattleRow May 17 #31

Apparently he reused a video from another occasion More_Cowbell May 17 #4

So, a visual Auto-Pen! BidenRocks May 17 #16

Totally in character. greatauntoftriplets May 17 #5

Here is trump's heavily edited contribution to this event LetMyPeopleVote May 17 #6

The people he send this to are easily duped. I always wonder if they have ever even read the words that Christ spoke. efhmc May 17 #9

Wow, just listen to him breathing. Tick Tock MFer. OGBuzz May 18 #48

Maybe they'll have another event after they get the reflecting pool rigged tanyev May 17 #7

Now THAT'S funny as hell. paleotn May 17 #8

Good will punish him for playing hooky. usonian May 17 #10

Trump skips Klan Rally nakocal May 17 #11

He's too important for their bullshit. ... littlemissmartypants May 17 #12

The only ones that don't apply are 6 and 16 bedazzled May 18 #63

They will still think of him as their God. republianmushroom May 17 #13

"Yo, God! Just Jerome May 17 #14

"TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE! President DJT." J_William_Ryan May 17 #15

Our biggest problem is: DFW May 17 #20

My guess is popsdenver May 17 #17

Didn't they do that with Stalin? Deuxcents May 17 #19

Don't know.......NC popsdenver May 17 #22

lenin DonCoquixote May 18 #37

O..Lenin..thank you Deuxcents May 18 #53

God or golfing DFW May 17 #21

... at the taxpayers expense. Justice matters. May 17 #24

But his foursome included a couple of Corinthians. Sneederbunk May 17 #25

Hahahahaha angrychair May 17 #27

"Heaven can wait, now watch this drive" oasis May 17 #28

And yet you will SEE NO PHOTOS of him actually golfing. Maru Kitteh May 17 #30

I wonder what he gets from all that golfing. MadameButterfly May 18 #32

Nope. King Farouk! OldBaldy1701E May 18 #42

I think golf is an old familiar lie that makes him feel better. I'm glad he can't do it Maru Kitteh May 18 #61

Fatfuck von Golfcart has a bible to sell ya back at the clubhouse Blue Owl May 18 #34

Maybe God told him to golf. It is the 7th day. Buddyzbuddy May 18 #35

The balls he uses are the ones that the Congressional Republicans had before they cut them off to show their loyalty. cstanleytech May 18 #36

Of course he skipped it jmowreader May 18 #38

From Shakespeare bmichaelh May 18 #39

WAit until he finds out there is no golf in hell. Historic NY May 18 #40

Or even worse, there's golf in Hell and he won't be able to cheat FakeNoose May 18 #50

There is indeed golf in Hell. The Madcap May 18 #56

Heh! electric_blue68 May 18 #58

"There is always an extremely slow foursome ahead of you and one obnoxious one behind you" Ray Bruns May 18 #59

Could be, though I was thinking about the guys who yell The Madcap May 18 #62

John Steinbeck once observed SorellaLaBefana May 18 #43

Kick BlueWavePsych May 18 #44

He's observing Sunday the Homer Simpson way. eppur_se_muova May 18 #45

Squaring the Hypocrisy Kid Berwyn May 18 #46

I remember when Republicans were very concerned about how often a president played golf and whether he attended church. SamuelAdams May 18 #47

Nothing is more important than his little white balls. Harker May 18 #49

You'll see more and more of less and less PATRICK May 18 #51

All I saw on the news... GCG May 18 #52

LOL! He doesn't even pretend that he's at all interested in religion. His cult followers are brain dead. Martin68 May 18 #55

Christopretensist. Iggo May 18 #65