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hlthe2b

(113,529 posts)

21. I agree and I have lived/worked/spent time in 37/50 states and never heard it except

Fri Feb 27, 2026, 10:29 AM

Friday

for a older female FAMILY MEMBER--who was actually their MOMMA or Grandmother.

I agree that this is a disrespectful "tic" among some Gen-Z that needs to STOP. I assume some idiot "influencer" started it, despite a comment upstream that it was "common." Even in Idaho (and I am a mere two states away and used to ski/spend time there frequently), I never heard it. Could I have missed it--especially if this is (as I suspect) a more recent phenomenon? Yes. Of course, but still...

If this happens again (or again and again), even if some here want to claim "Karen" behavior, I would politely request of her supervisor to stop this "salutation" and assure him/her that there will be many who do not appreciate it. If they claim ignorance, then a simple "bless your heart" should do.

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DURHAM D stopdiggin

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What is it with calling older women "momma" when they are customers at a business? [View all] hamsterjill Friday OP

I ain't your mamma! eliZabet Friday #1

Welcome to DU LetMyPeopleVote Friday #67

Way to make a strong statement with your first post. True Dough Friday #127

It's a country custom to call all females momma when they are childbearing age or older. lark Friday #2

Time to stop that custom. hamsterjill Friday #5

Even if it's not a business, it is presumptuous and demeaning and inaccurate as well. lark Friday #9

I agree and I have lived/worked/spent time in 37/50 states and never heard it except hlthe2b Friday #21

Oh, I'm on a crusade now. It won't go unaddressed again. hamsterjill Friday #23

frankly new to me as well. and, if it is/was a 'rural' thing - it was in parts of the country stopdiggin Friday #47

Yes, I agree PatSeg Friday #48

There is nothing wrong with expecting someone to use your name. hamsterjill Friday #53

Excellent example PatSeg Friday #60

Hon and sweetie are the norm here in KY Bayard Friday #116

I lived in Mississippi for a short time in the 1960s PatSeg Friday #117

I lived in Mississippi for a short time in the 1960s PatSeg Friday #118

I'm 69 and never heard it before. Ferrets are Cool Friday #14

Yes and Sugar, Sweetie, Honey PatSeg Friday #50

spent 65 years in Tennessee, Mississippi and Georgia Brainstormy Friday #16

I'm a Floridian and I have never heard it here or in the South. Of course, I don't hang out in rural parts either. lark Friday #17

I think he lied to you. Trueblue Texan Friday #96

WTF Skittles Friday #125

I didn't like it. lark Saturday #130

I don't think they mean any disrespect. LuvLoogie Friday #3

I don't think they mean disrespect. hamsterjill Friday #7

Is it an AAVE thing or a Southern Thing? I haven't noticed it anywhere... QueerDuck Friday #77

Some here have explained that it's a Hispanic cultural thing. hamsterjill Friday #78

The only time I've heard it was in a CVS. The pharm tech was spooky3 Friday #79

Oh, I hate that one, too. hamsterjill Friday #82

Oh, yeah "young iady" . electric_blue68 Friday #84

I agree with you! 100% QueerDuck Friday #87

This message was self-deleted by its author Mosby Sunday #135

I understand that. hamsterjill Sunday #137

Yeah, i completely agree. Mosby Sunday #138

As for "pops", I would be inclined to take that as casually dismissive at best from a stranger... Harker Friday #31

I don't know, man. LuvLoogie Friday #35

I no longer have a professional setting, and I'm usually pretty quick with a quip. Harker Friday #42

I was called "Boss" by one of my troops LogDog75 Friday #80

How 'bout thanks, prick? Trueblue Texan Friday #98

Lighten up, Francis. LuvLoogie Friday #102

This is light. Trueblue Texan Friday #107

Noted... LuvLoogie Friday #114

i kind of like it some_of_us_are_sane Sunday #139

"Junior" is good. "You young whippersnapper" is kind of the A-bomb; use it sparingly. :) nt eppur_se_muova Saturday #128

I'm 71 and retired, but the two people I called boss Nittersing Friday #44

I'd bet that they did, given that you used it with respect. Harker Friday #55

I noticed that the contractor who worked on my house was called spooky3 Friday #81

I doubt very seriously it is an attempt to show respect. Trueblue Texan Friday #97

It's not that serious. Sometimes I'm called "baby" LuvLoogie Friday #101

Never Heard That, But... ProfessorGAC Friday #4

When my wife was in rehab it was the black nurses & aides who did that TexLaProgressive Friday #6

My guess is she wasn't even aware she called you that. CrispyQ Friday #8

You're probably right. hamsterjill Friday #11

I've never heard that and I hope I never do, because I could get real unpleasant. Ocelot II Friday #10

I thought it was just a South Texas thing... hamsterjill Friday #12

It's definitely not a Minnesota thing. Ocelot II Friday #13

Well, once again, Ocelot hamsterjill Friday #22

We're feeling a bit prickly in these parts lately. Ocelot II Friday #25

I'm surprised you didn't answer with "Satan's Spawn". hamsterjill Friday #29

It is NOT a Texas thing. Trueblue Texan Friday #100

Now that I think about it, I knew a young woman who called her daughter momma. CrispyQ Friday #56

I've heard the reference to female babies, too. hamsterjill Friday #65

I thought it was an old rock & roll thing eShirl Friday #15

Like "my old lady"???? hamsterjill Friday #18

I never liked that term either...I thought it was condescending. walkingman Friday #36

I've never gotten "momma," but the last hair stylist who cut my hair was "dear this" and "dear that." Vinca Friday #19

I like your fantasy! hamsterjill Friday #20

You know what else bugs me? Doctors. Ocelot II Friday #28

I started my nurse practitioner career in the Air Force, where I was addressed by my rank. 3catwoman3 Friday #68

I go to the stop n rob down the street for gas because I get digital coupons and a clerk there is the sweetest Deuxcents Friday #24

Interesting... hamsterjill Friday #26

I couldn't agree more... Trueblue Texan Friday #27

And yet some are taking offense that I'm expecting equality. SMH... hamsterjill Friday #75

not uncommon for indian shopkeepers where i live. mopinko Friday #30

I think it's just one of those things. LuckyCharms Friday #32

My name has 3 syllables. So I don't mind if people shorten it to 1 syllable. Zackzzzz Friday #38

I have a friend whose name is "Michael". hamsterjill Friday #41

In Hispanic cutures it is a form of respect DUMember24 Friday #33

I understand that it may be cultural, but it's still not right. hamsterjill Friday #39

In Maine they used to say "Dee-ah", unisex and kindly Easterncedar Friday #34

Me too.. yorkster Friday #62

Maybe they're so illiterate Mblaze Friday #37

No, it was definitely "momma". hamsterjill Friday #40

Call the bank AverageOldGuy Friday #43

It's meant as a sign of friendly respect Bobstandard Friday #45

I look for the good in people. hamsterjill Friday #49

Momma wouldn't bother me. It sounds like she is trying to be friendly. 1WorldHope Friday #46

I'm sorry, but it bothers me. hamsterjill Friday #51

I too am a feminist. I understand how much stress young people are under. 1WorldHope Friday #61

I asked a question to make her think. hamsterjill Friday #63

My grandmother would have been offended if you called her ma'am. (short for madam) Ptah Friday #71

What did she want to be called as a sign of respect? hamsterjill Friday #72

My point is that what is offensive to some is not offensive to others. Ptah Friday #73

So if a 40 year old male is to be referred to as "sir" hamsterjill Friday #74

you ain't alone, gal Skittles Friday #126

do like this response. it may seem 'odd' to your prior experience stopdiggin Friday #58

It may not feel rude to you, but it certainly feels that way to some of us. Trueblue Texan Friday #99

gaslighting ?? Yikes! I see an exchange of opinion ... (which seems to be about equally divided up and down thread) stopdiggin Friday #106

I guess you could say that no matter the offense. Trueblue Texan Friday #109

Yeah. If we have a diffferent point of view - definitely a 'put down' involved .. stopdiggin Friday #111

I think we are in agreement on this, at least. nt Trueblue Texan Friday #113

Joking? The sarcasm was literally dripping ... stopdiggin Friday #115

neither are mine. I hope you have a lovely Friday night. nt Trueblue Texan Friday #119

Working in Southern California for 50+ years I always felt respected when addressed as Momma. quaint Friday #52

I'm happy for you. hamsterjill Friday #54

Ubiquitous in the office world of SoCal. quaint Friday #57

But what did they call the men? hamsterjill Friday #59

I haven't heard anything except uncle or boss, usually not standing close enough. quaint Friday #89

If it came from someone in those cultures, I would know it was meant as respect. Trueblue Texan Friday #103

How would someone, being respectful in their culture, know you would be greatly offended by Momma? quaint Friday #105

I said if the comment came from one of those cultures mentioned I would NOT have taken it as disrespectful. Trueblue Texan Friday #110

It is meant to be a term of endearment but it is perhaps too familiar in that situation. camartinwv Friday #64

What do they call men of the same age? hamsterjill Friday #66

You have asked this a few times Lifeafter70 Friday #86

Yes, I wanted an answer. hamsterjill Friday #88

No problem for me Lifeafter70 Friday #90

Noted. hamsterjill Friday #91

Wow Lifeafter70 Friday #104

I always take it as being accepted into a community, too. n/t femmedem Friday #122

Coming from someone in a hispanic culture it means something different, I know. Trueblue Texan Friday #112

I feel like the majority of DUers on this thread must lead very insular lives. intheflow Friday #69

Good for you. hamsterjill Friday #70

and if someone says "bless your heart" would you know what it meant? Trueblue Texan Friday #120

The insular comment was because so many DUers intheflow Saturday #132

I am an older woman of color Keepthesoulalive Friday #76

Those workers represent the bussiness they're working for LogDog75 Friday #83

Mostly I hear this from Hispanic people. electric_blue68 Friday #85

It bothered me a ton till I had worked in Hispanic neighborhoods for a while. There were a few Scrivener7 Friday #92

They wouldn't call me momma twice. To adults I am Ms Dorothy until you know me better, and always to children. Dorothy V Friday #93

Maya Angelou hamsterjill Friday #94

Great video! Terms of respect vary from area to area. Here, Ms. or Mr. followed by the first name is Dorothy V Friday #95

This is what I'm saying Lifeafter70 Friday #108

There's only so much time when you're in the drive through lane!!!! hamsterjill Friday #121

No Lifeafter70 Friday #123

I don't understand why it's so important to you that *I* be like you. hamsterjill Friday #124

Thank you for that. That was a wonderful video of, um, Dr. Angelou. NNadir Sunday #134

I've had that happen twice, both times by Vietnamese manicurists, Totally Tunsie Saturday #129

"If I was your mama, I'd have raised you to have better manners!" The Blue Flower Saturday #131

Love this!!! hamsterjill Saturday #133

"If I was your mama, I'd have raised you to have better manners! The Blue Flower Sunday #136