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intheflow

(30,146 posts)

69. I feel like the majority of DUers on this thread must lead very insular lives.

Fri Feb 27, 2026, 02:18 PM

Feb 27

I (62 yo white woman) have been called Mama, Mami, and Mommy by strangers since my hair started going grey in my 30s. It's akin to terms like "honey," "babe," and "sweetie" that have fallen out of favor. I've heard it mostly from Latinos (here in Massachusetts and also in Colorado and Mississippi), and younger black folk, and I feel like it arose through Latino culture (and maybe Afro-Latino culture) from the Spanish mami (mommy), as in this Urban Dictionary definition from 2006:

Mami
{{IS A SPANISH WORD}}Mainly used by Dominicans, Puerto Ricans,Cubans & Other. These are the countries that originally used this as more of a slang term.Can be used with kids,Partner{female}.Similar 2 Hun,Boo,Girl,Baby .{males Refer to females:Mami}{females refer to males : Papi}

Now this word is being used by non-spanish speaking people
{spanglish}, Can be used by anyone{short form is Ma}
{males Refer to females:Mami}{females refer to males : Papi}
{Mami example 1}
Guy:How u doin mami?___how u doin honey
Girl:Im good

{Example 2 Different Context Meaning beautiful women.}
Guy:Woah Que Mami.

{Example 3. Use with children}
Mother:Mami how was school today?
Daughter: It was Good.
by x_Tha_Latina January 29, 2006

Personally, as long as no one is calling me a b*tch, c*nt, wh*re, etc., I'm cool. No harm is meant.

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Highlight:

What is it with calling older women "momma" when they are customers at a business? [View all] hamsterjill Feb 27 OP

I ain't your mamma! eliZabet Feb 27 #1

Welcome to DU LetMyPeopleVote Feb 27 #67

Way to make a strong statement with your first post. True Dough Feb 27 #127

It's a country custom to call all females momma when they are childbearing age or older. lark Feb 27 #2

Time to stop that custom. hamsterjill Feb 27 #5

Even if it's not a business, it is presumptuous and demeaning and inaccurate as well. lark Feb 27 #9

I agree and I have lived/worked/spent time in 37/50 states and never heard it except hlthe2b Feb 27 #21

Oh, I'm on a crusade now. It won't go unaddressed again. hamsterjill Feb 27 #23

frankly new to me as well. and, if it is/was a 'rural' thing - it was in parts of the country stopdiggin Feb 27 #47

Yes, I agree PatSeg Feb 27 #48

There is nothing wrong with expecting someone to use your name. hamsterjill Feb 27 #53

Excellent example PatSeg Feb 27 #60

Hon and sweetie are the norm here in KY Bayard Feb 27 #116

I lived in Mississippi for a short time in the 1960s PatSeg Feb 27 #117

I lived in Mississippi for a short time in the 1960s PatSeg Feb 27 #118

I'm 69 and never heard it before. Ferrets are Cool Feb 27 #14

Yes and Sugar, Sweetie, Honey PatSeg Feb 27 #50

spent 65 years in Tennessee, Mississippi and Georgia Brainstormy Feb 27 #16

I'm a Floridian and I have never heard it here or in the South. Of course, I don't hang out in rural parts either. lark Feb 27 #17

I think he lied to you. Trueblue Texan Feb 27 #96

WTF Skittles Feb 27 #125

I didn't like it. lark Feb 28 #130

I don't think they mean any disrespect. LuvLoogie Feb 27 #3

I don't think they mean disrespect. hamsterjill Feb 27 #7

Is it an AAVE thing or a Southern Thing? I haven't noticed it anywhere... QueerDuck Feb 27 #77

Some here have explained that it's a Hispanic cultural thing. hamsterjill Feb 27 #78

The only time I've heard it was in a CVS. The pharm tech was spooky3 Feb 27 #79

Oh, I hate that one, too. hamsterjill Feb 27 #82

Oh, yeah "young iady" . electric_blue68 Feb 27 #84

I agree with you! 100% QueerDuck Feb 27 #87

This message was self-deleted by its author Mosby Sunday #135

I understand that. hamsterjill Sunday #137

Yeah, i completely agree. Mosby Sunday #138

As for "pops", I would be inclined to take that as casually dismissive at best from a stranger... Harker Feb 27 #31

I don't know, man. LuvLoogie Feb 27 #35

I no longer have a professional setting, and I'm usually pretty quick with a quip. Harker Feb 27 #42

I was called "Boss" by one of my troops LogDog75 Feb 27 #80

How 'bout thanks, prick? Trueblue Texan Feb 27 #98

Lighten up, Francis. LuvLoogie Feb 27 #102

This is light. Trueblue Texan Feb 27 #107

Noted... LuvLoogie Feb 27 #114

i kind of like it some_of_us_are_sane Sunday #139

"Junior" is good. "You young whippersnapper" is kind of the A-bomb; use it sparingly. :) nt eppur_se_muova Feb 28 #128

I'm 71 and retired, but the two people I called boss Nittersing Feb 27 #44

I'd bet that they did, given that you used it with respect. Harker Feb 27 #55

I noticed that the contractor who worked on my house was called spooky3 Feb 27 #81

I doubt very seriously it is an attempt to show respect. Trueblue Texan Feb 27 #97

It's not that serious. Sometimes I'm called "baby" LuvLoogie Feb 27 #101

Never Heard That, But... ProfessorGAC Feb 27 #4

When my wife was in rehab it was the black nurses & aides who did that TexLaProgressive Feb 27 #6

My guess is she wasn't even aware she called you that. CrispyQ Feb 27 #8

You're probably right. hamsterjill Feb 27 #11

I've never heard that and I hope I never do, because I could get real unpleasant. Ocelot II Feb 27 #10

I thought it was just a South Texas thing... hamsterjill Feb 27 #12

It's definitely not a Minnesota thing. Ocelot II Feb 27 #13

Well, once again, Ocelot hamsterjill Feb 27 #22

We're feeling a bit prickly in these parts lately. Ocelot II Feb 27 #25

I'm surprised you didn't answer with "Satan's Spawn". hamsterjill Feb 27 #29

It is NOT a Texas thing. Trueblue Texan Feb 27 #100

Now that I think about it, I knew a young woman who called her daughter momma. CrispyQ Feb 27 #56

I've heard the reference to female babies, too. hamsterjill Feb 27 #65

I thought it was an old rock & roll thing eShirl Feb 27 #15

Like "my old lady"???? hamsterjill Feb 27 #18

I never liked that term either...I thought it was condescending. walkingman Feb 27 #36

I've never gotten "momma," but the last hair stylist who cut my hair was "dear this" and "dear that." Vinca Feb 27 #19

I like your fantasy! hamsterjill Feb 27 #20

You know what else bugs me? Doctors. Ocelot II Feb 27 #28

I started my nurse practitioner career in the Air Force, where I was addressed by my rank. 3catwoman3 Feb 27 #68

I go to the stop n rob down the street for gas because I get digital coupons and a clerk there is the sweetest Deuxcents Feb 27 #24

Interesting... hamsterjill Feb 27 #26

I couldn't agree more... Trueblue Texan Feb 27 #27

And yet some are taking offense that I'm expecting equality. SMH... hamsterjill Feb 27 #75

not uncommon for indian shopkeepers where i live. mopinko Feb 27 #30

I think it's just one of those things. LuckyCharms Feb 27 #32

My name has 3 syllables. So I don't mind if people shorten it to 1 syllable. Zackzzzz Feb 27 #38

I have a friend whose name is "Michael". hamsterjill Feb 27 #41

In Hispanic cutures it is a form of respect DUMember24 Feb 27 #33

I understand that it may be cultural, but it's still not right. hamsterjill Feb 27 #39

In Maine they used to say "Dee-ah", unisex and kindly Easterncedar Feb 27 #34

Me too.. yorkster Feb 27 #62

Maybe they're so illiterate Mblaze Feb 27 #37

No, it was definitely "momma". hamsterjill Feb 27 #40

Call the bank AverageOldGuy Feb 27 #43

It's meant as a sign of friendly respect Bobstandard Feb 27 #45

I look for the good in people. hamsterjill Feb 27 #49

Momma wouldn't bother me. It sounds like she is trying to be friendly. 1WorldHope Feb 27 #46

I'm sorry, but it bothers me. hamsterjill Feb 27 #51

I too am a feminist. I understand how much stress young people are under. 1WorldHope Feb 27 #61

I asked a question to make her think. hamsterjill Feb 27 #63

My grandmother would have been offended if you called her ma'am. (short for madam) Ptah Feb 27 #71

What did she want to be called as a sign of respect? hamsterjill Feb 27 #72

My point is that what is offensive to some is not offensive to others. Ptah Feb 27 #73

So if a 40 year old male is to be referred to as "sir" hamsterjill Feb 27 #74

you ain't alone, gal Skittles Feb 27 #126

do like this response. it may seem 'odd' to your prior experience stopdiggin Feb 27 #58

It may not feel rude to you, but it certainly feels that way to some of us. Trueblue Texan Feb 27 #99

gaslighting ?? Yikes! I see an exchange of opinion ... (which seems to be about equally divided up and down thread) stopdiggin Feb 27 #106

I guess you could say that no matter the offense. Trueblue Texan Feb 27 #109

Yeah. If we have a diffferent point of view - definitely a 'put down' involved .. stopdiggin Feb 27 #111

I think we are in agreement on this, at least. nt Trueblue Texan Feb 27 #113

Joking? The sarcasm was literally dripping ... stopdiggin Feb 27 #115

neither are mine. I hope you have a lovely Friday night. nt Trueblue Texan Feb 27 #119

Working in Southern California for 50+ years I always felt respected when addressed as Momma. quaint Feb 27 #52

I'm happy for you. hamsterjill Feb 27 #54

Ubiquitous in the office world of SoCal. quaint Feb 27 #57

But what did they call the men? hamsterjill Feb 27 #59

I haven't heard anything except uncle or boss, usually not standing close enough. quaint Feb 27 #89

If it came from someone in those cultures, I would know it was meant as respect. Trueblue Texan Feb 27 #103

How would someone, being respectful in their culture, know you would be greatly offended by Momma? quaint Feb 27 #105

I said if the comment came from one of those cultures mentioned I would NOT have taken it as disrespectful. Trueblue Texan Feb 27 #110

It is meant to be a term of endearment but it is perhaps too familiar in that situation. camartinwv Feb 27 #64

What do they call men of the same age? hamsterjill Feb 27 #66

You have asked this a few times Lifeafter70 Feb 27 #86

Yes, I wanted an answer. hamsterjill Feb 27 #88

No problem for me Lifeafter70 Feb 27 #90

Noted. hamsterjill Feb 27 #91

Wow Lifeafter70 Feb 27 #104

I always take it as being accepted into a community, too. n/t femmedem Feb 27 #122

Coming from someone in a hispanic culture it means something different, I know. Trueblue Texan Feb 27 #112

I feel like the majority of DUers on this thread must lead very insular lives. intheflow Feb 27 #69

Good for you. hamsterjill Feb 27 #70

and if someone says "bless your heart" would you know what it meant? Trueblue Texan Feb 27 #120

The insular comment was because so many DUers intheflow Feb 28 #132

I am an older woman of color Keepthesoulalive Feb 27 #76

Those workers represent the bussiness they're working for LogDog75 Feb 27 #83

Mostly I hear this from Hispanic people. electric_blue68 Feb 27 #85

It bothered me a ton till I had worked in Hispanic neighborhoods for a while. There were a few Scrivener7 Feb 27 #92

They wouldn't call me momma twice. To adults I am Ms Dorothy until you know me better, and always to children. Dorothy V Feb 27 #93

Maya Angelou hamsterjill Feb 27 #94

Great video! Terms of respect vary from area to area. Here, Ms. or Mr. followed by the first name is Dorothy V Feb 27 #95

This is what I'm saying Lifeafter70 Feb 27 #108

There's only so much time when you're in the drive through lane!!!! hamsterjill Feb 27 #121

No Lifeafter70 Feb 27 #123

I don't understand why it's so important to you that *I* be like you. hamsterjill Feb 27 #124

Thank you for that. That was a wonderful video of, um, Dr. Angelou. NNadir Sunday #134

I've had that happen twice, both times by Vietnamese manicurists, Totally Tunsie Feb 28 #129

"If I was your mama, I'd have raised you to have better manners!" The Blue Flower Feb 28 #131

Love this!!! hamsterjill Feb 28 #133

"If I was your mama, I'd have raised you to have better manners! The Blue Flower Sunday #136