The weight is heavy. And it's different for men than it is for women. [View all]

It's not worse, it's different.

We are expected to be "men". To be strong. To be providers. To not cry. I don't even know what the fuck to post anymore. I try to take a break because I don't want to spread negativity, but I'm drawn back here.

I think I have a good reputation here, maybe. I have a great reputation in real life. Because I pretend. I've pulled people out of the depths of despair.

It's hard for me as a man to say I need some help. It makes me feel weak. I don't have any flesh and blood anymore that I can just fucking hang onto. I can't do it to my spouse. Have to keep the home life safe, because that's all I have at this point. I can't fuck that up. My whole existence is predicated on being strong.

Depression is a motherfucker. Sorry about this. I just pretend here. I'm the great pretender.

I know some of you feel the same too.

I've been struggling through this bullshit for 26 years.