eBay, what am I doing wrong? [View all]

Twice I have tried to buy a book listed. Both times I thought I would be given the option to ship to another address. Both times, I got the confirmation that the books would be sent to me at my address. I proceeded thru the PayPal options, expecting to confirm or change shipping address. Did not see it. Now I have the shipping confirmation, have tried to cancel order and have had no reply.
Sure don't want three of the same book. Phooey! What have I missed or have the options changed-either before or after PayPal payment. I must be doing something wrong but don't know what it is. Any ideas--or am I just blind.
I bought the initial book locally and wanted to send a copy to a family member. Tried twice. In addition to my copy, I guess I'll have two more.