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...I did 4'33" at a talent show in college! 
I sat on the bench with a stopwatch.
In the spirit of Cage, I then did a prepared piano thing. Thumbtacks in some hammers, marbles on the strings, my foot on the sustain pedal almost the whole time, then played everything in diminished or augmented scales & chords.
It was nothing but theoretically consistent noise. I think John would have approved.
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