Georgia

until they announced their move to Cobb County so all the scaredy-cat white suburbanites and redneck out-of-town fans won't have to endure the urban terrors of going to the current ballpark.

I used to do my homework while listening to Milo Hamilton and Ernie Johnson call the games. The first MLB game I saw in person was at the old Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium, where I got to see Hank Aaron and Ernie Banks on the field at the same time. (Cubs won.) As a Southerner and a baseball fan, I proudly supported the Braves as our only regional team for a long time. And I stuck with them through some pretty painful years before the Maddux-Smoltz-Glavine glory days, and some more semi-painful years after that.

But I no longer have a team. I am not rooting for the Marietta Fucking Braves.

I'm sure the "walking into traffic" line refers to how crappy of a season they're having, after dumping every high-priced player they could. And the planned pedestrian bridge, which is an absolute joke since the new stadium will be inaccessible via public transportation and will create even bigger traffic nightmares (if that's possible) in that zone, is facing major resistance.

I've had it with the franchise. I hope they continue to falter and end up moving to Charlotte or Memphis.