New Jersey

As in, for us, getting the gas money to go visit my SIL three hours away means not paying utility bills, which is of course the choice we have made. There are no other choices. The SIL who will do the decision-making, her and her hubby won't ever be able to retire; they are both in their 60s and barely getting by. The final sibling...well, let's just not talk about that one, as there isn't anything nice to be said. One in every family...........

Meanwhile, the ill SIL does have income in the form of sick pay, then short term and long term disability, and we can't just let her finances fall apart on top of everything else.