New Mexico

the phone anymore. I'm bipolar and diabetic, plus I was a sedentary office worker so I also have physical stamina issues. Social Security, the workforce commission and my psychiatrist recognize that I'm disabled, but I don't meet the requirements to qualify for disability. I attempted suicide in 2014 and was hospitalizated a few months later. After the suicide attempt they could not find a psychiatric hospital to place me at so I was released to a homeless shelter.

I used to be an insurance stat analyst and computer programmer, but I had a nervous breakdown because I was working 75-80 hours per week on a frequent basis for extended periods of time. My employer canned me in 2010 because I wasn't able to handle the job demands anymore and my weight dropped to as low as 117 pounds (I'm 6'1&quot . The jobs that Social Security suggested are menial in nature and the only way that I could work any of them is to live in a homeless shelter in an urban area. I wouldn't be able to make enough income to ever regain any sense of independence and the first $1,000/month that I earn would be offset dollar to dollar with the medical care provided by indigent care programs. I would need to earn at least $20,000 per year and have medical insurance to clear out my past debts and make it worth being employed again.

I still have intelligent thoughts and creative ideas, but there are no opportunities to prove myself in the small town where I live and I'm considered to either be over-qualified, too specialized or my skills are obsolete (e.g. 2nd generation programming languages). I was a productive employee that had a significant impact (billions) on the economy when I worked for the state and I also made my employer millions when I worked in the private sector. My working career called for a certain level of cynicism so I certainly have my grudges against the system now that I need help and kicked to the curb.

With the exception of taking care of the cats, being on the computer and listening to music there aren't many things that provide any happiness to me. The disrespect from my family has hit the hardest and affected my confidence, but I'm the one that chose to rarely contact my friends anymore since most of them do not respond to me when I call or even send a text message. I've decided to leave them alone so I don't make them feel depressed since the help that I need would be more than they can provide. My social involvement is down to the occasional trip to the grocery store on my bike and going to medical appointments; otherwise, I'm a recluse.