(Satire) Furious Poilievre criticizes Trump tariffs for uniting Canadians [View all]

Furious Poilievre criticizes Trump tariffs for uniting Canadians
30 mins ago by Ian MacIntyre ( @mrianmacintyre ) SATIRE

https://www.thebeaverton.com/2025/02/furious-poilievre-criticizes-trump-tariffs-for-uniting-canadians/

OTTAWA – Following a tumultuous weekend in which Donald Trump threatened Canada with steep tariffs on all goods, only to back down, Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre angrily criticized the US president for bringing Canadians together right before his planned election campaign.

“During these negotiations, President Trump’s actions led Canadians to unite in solidarity, and that is absolutely terrible for my brand,” explained Poilievre as he hastily took down a banner reading ‘Division Is Our Strength’.

“Canadians are now willing to reach across aisles and work together toward solutions to benefit the whole country, and I for one hope we get over that shit real quick,” Poilievre added, angrily.

Campaign insiders note this has been an unusually tough week for the Conservative leader, who had previously been polling in “majority cake-walk” territory. This week’s inconvenient outbreak of national pride runs contrary to Poilievre’s previously-planned campaign themes of East vs West, Rich vs Poor, and Everyone vs Toronto.

..........SNIP"