Computer Help and Support

Raises charge to grand theft if you mean the auto.
Of course, if I rented it out, it would have a minuscule amount of fuel or a short delay shut-off device.

If you meant the dash cam, put it behind the peephole. (suitable view, you can check as you install it) or conceal it in the porch rafters.

I have thought of the world's cheapest and smartest alarm.

Install a dummy camera in a highly visible spot that sounds off only if the lens is covered.

All that said, just hiding a dash cam somewhere safe should do.

I can work on a sound-activated water sausage deployment device if you're interested.

Do you have a screen door? In that case, it's even simpler.