Apple Users

I've no experience with these devices, but the specs say it uses both WiFi and Bluetooth. I'll go out on a limb and guess that your small apartment in San Francisco is inundated with your neighbors' wireless signals and the devices are getting confused.

That error from Siri is pretty typical of what I'd expect if Siri isn't able to "phone home" and communicate with the AI-engine/database at Apple.

So you say you have "excellent fiber internet and wifi" ... well no, I suspect not. I think you've got excellent fiber but am guessing that your WiFi radio bands are seriously saturated and full of delays and dropped packets that are just not noticeable in normal usage.

You *might* have some luck if you poke at your WiFi base station and reconfigure it to have your home WiFi network use a different set of radio frequencies (bands). But success is far from certain, and requires your neighbors to not also move to the new bands.

Really sad that the software in these things doesn't have a better failure mode so it can tell you why it's screwing up so badly under conditions like yours.