Men's Group

Last edited Fri Oct 4, 2013, 08:25 PM - Edit history (1)

Not the least of which is the tendency of ANY thread or discussion in this group, to spawn multiple iterations of "critical analysis" and/or complaints, depending on who you ask. So speaking of under-appreciated jobs, I think everyone should take a moment to thank the internet's myriad unappreciated original content providers, for giving the rest of everyone something to do and talk about.



Okay- On the topic of staying at home (and I would take issue, personally, with the "not work" part, but I'll get there) ... I do think it is a privilege, in this day and age, given economic realities, for ANY family to be able to have a parent at home with little kids. That's simple reality, taking into account what has happened with income disparity and the vanishing middle class. Now, lest I be accused of willful blindness on the part of having literally grown up in a house with Andy Griffith, Bea Arthur, Miss Yvonne from "Romper Room", Eddie's Father and Wally Cleaver- obviously the reality of women having to work did not start with the 1960 or 70s or 80s, certainly for many demographics in the US.

But, for the sake of argument, let's stick to the socio-cultural changes which have taken place, presumably mostly in middle class America, in the past few decades, where many families which once in the postwar era might have functioned on one income now require two. I don't think to acknowledge this indicates any willful blindness or cultural insularity- these are trends which have been widely noted and have accelerated particularly since the Reagan era. In addition to this, women have entered the workforce- some by choice, some not- in greater numbers, in part because as a society we are moving towards a more gender egalitarian outlook; unquestionably, a good thing.

Let me divert, for a moment, onto the notion of "Patriarchy" (And The Patriarchy, two terms often used interchangeably) ... I've said before, in this group, I think obviously Western Civilization, particularly as per the big Western Monotheistic religions, has historically had a patriarchal orientation. Like, duh. And some of that remains, but fortunately this society, I think, is moving again away from that. I think things have gotten significantly better in the past decades. And yes, the same freeing from rigid gender expectations which allows a woman to be a CEO, allows and should allow a man to be a SAHD.

Thing with "Patriarchy" (not to mention "The Patriarchy&quot as a term, and jesus if I can't get through one of these TL;DR posts without diverging into Korzybski and the limitations and fallacies of labels- "Patriarchy" is one of these things like "The Holy Ghost"- don't worry about what it means, what the accepted common definition is or if there even is one- the important question is, do you ACCEPT or DENY it.

Well, it's a label; and a label for certain attitudes and behaviors which sometimes applies, sometimes doesn't. The phenomena it describes are either there, or not, whatever label you slap on it. And it's not helped by being conflated with "The Patriarchy", which is, as near as I can tell, a conspiracy theory promoted on certain extremist blogs which posits an Illuminati-like cabal plotting to run the planet, bomb the moon, and convince the world's women- who, apparently, if left to their own natural inclinations would never have anything to do with a penis, ever- that somehow "PIV" is "natural" (making me part of the spooky evo-psych conspiracy if I suggest that, yeah, it probably is).

I'm not approaching these questions from a purely academic standpoint; I've done my own time as a SAHD. When I started with it, back before the economic clusterfuck of the latter part of the Bush II years, shit yes there were people who thought it was "weird" or raised their eyebrows or clucked or whatever. The thing that really used to yank my chain, for some odd reason, would be the little old ladies at the park who would see me with a baby and assume I didn't know what I was doing, or the grandpas who would go "givin' the little lady the day off, huh heh heh".. Interestingly enough, literally the minute the crash came, all that shit stopped. Not only was there suddenly something hip or trendy about what I was doing- and, in fact, had been doing all along- people would ask me shit like "oh, are you one of those dads who blogs about being a stay at home dad"? I'd be like, no, I don't have fucking time for that.

Either way, it was goofy. But, see, here's the secret- and this was always who I was, although as I've gotten older I've just become more entrenched or unapologetic about it- I just have never been someone who gives much of a shit, what other people think. Or if I did, I got over it fairly early on. Random clucks from people I don't know, or want to know? Why the hell would I Care?

I mean, like they say, opinions are like assholes- everyone has at least one, some folks have several.

Or something like that.

And On that note, I'll say "To Be Continued".