Men's Group

lumberjack_jeff

(33,224 posts)

26. It's true enough that the first battlefield of the bullshit war is in our own heads.

Fri Oct 4, 2013, 07:25 PM

Oct 2013

That does not mean that I was imagining it when, after being introduced to us, my son's kindergarten teacher stepped between my wife and I, turned his back on me and started to explain his educational plans for the son for whom I was the stay-at-home.

(in fairness, it happened every year, but this was the first and worst example)

From then on, if there was a school conference and it was apparent that there was a head to the conference table, I sat there. "Shall we begin?"

The barriers created by social expectation are real and tangible. A guy reentering the workforce after a period of "unemployment" is at a serious disadvantage.

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Highlight:

Is it a privilege to be able to stay at home and not work? [View all] Bonobo Oct 2013 OP

I was not well respected when I was a stay at home dad. ZombieHorde Oct 2013 #1

If you are female and you choose to stay at home with the kids, you're a good mom Major Nikon Oct 2013 #4

That is an accurate assessment. Bonobo Oct 2013 #5

Pretty much, yep... opiate69 Oct 2013 #6

It is patriarchy. ZombieHorde Oct 2013 #8

I could substitute the word "culture" for your "patriarchy" Bonobo Oct 2013 #9

You've hit it on the head. ElboRuum Oct 2013 #71

Yes, it is a form of privilage. ZombieHorde Oct 2013 #7

A third -I think that is optimistic. Denninmi Oct 2013 #2

Half of waking hours, one third if you count sleep. nt Bonobo Oct 2013 #3

privilege to stay at home and not work. no, women do not get much more respect or appreciation seabeyond Oct 2013 #10

Lots of words, little understanding. Bonobo Oct 2013 #11

ability to choose? that really was not what your OP was about. your Op was more acceptable, ya, i seabeyond Oct 2013 #12

That was precisely what my OP was about. Bonobo Oct 2013 #13

no. not about zero. about as many people that appreciate the value of a stay at home mom (and not seabeyond Oct 2013 #15

I do believe you give great respect to stay at home dads. Bonobo Oct 2013 #17

everyone has the choice. what you are really saying is men are respected less if they make that seabeyond Oct 2013 #18

shoot, re reading your Op is see you even recognize this. seabeyond Oct 2013 #14

I did nothing of the kind. Bonobo Oct 2013 #16

Here's what I think you're missing Major Nikon Oct 2013 #34

You nailed it. Bonobo Oct 2013 #38

Feminists do. MadrasT Oct 2013 #39

And we really DO appreciate that! nt Bonobo Oct 2013 #40

Some feminists undoubtedly do, but that is not what feminism is about. lumberjack_jeff Oct 2013 #46

I am not anybody's mom MadrasT Oct 2013 #76

Opinions don't cancel out the choice The2ndWheel Oct 2013 #19

Ridicule is still the individual manifestation of discrimination. lumberjack_jeff Oct 2013 #21

I think hazing is not really a valid analogy. Warren DeMontague Oct 2013 #24

I wish everyone could stay home The2ndWheel Oct 2013 #45

I worked 25 years before becoming a stay at home dad. lumberjack_jeff Oct 2013 #20

There are a bunch of things going on here, I think. Warren DeMontague Oct 2013 #22

Okay, Part II: Warren DeMontague Oct 2013 #23

It's true enough that the first battlefield of the bullshit war is in our own heads. lumberjack_jeff Oct 2013 #26

Oh, no, I know exactly what you mean. Warren DeMontague Oct 2013 #27

+1000 about the ACA. n/t lumberjack_jeff Oct 2013 #28

Wow. RiffRandell Oct 2013 #44

I agree with a lot of what you said. RiffRandell Oct 2013 #43

"Caregiving dads treated disrespectfully at work, study finds" lumberjack_jeff Oct 2013 #25

This message was self-deleted by its author RiffRandell Oct 2013 #29

I'm sorry RR. nt lumberjack_jeff Oct 2013 #30

This message was self-deleted by its author RiffRandell Oct 2013 #31

Sorry, too, Riff. Warren DeMontague Oct 2013 #32

Thanks, Warren. RiffRandell Oct 2013 #41

Look, everyone, there's a thread in the men's group! Warren DeMontague Oct 2013 #33

Yep yep.. of course, opiate69 Oct 2013 #35

But their grandmama's worked! Bonobo Oct 2013 #36

Up Is Up. Warren DeMontague Oct 2013 #37

Now with 50% more racism!!! ProudToBeBlueInRhody Oct 2013 #47

I'm beginning to think using the Men's group to post links to reading comprehension training lumberjack_jeff Oct 2013 #53

Let me clarify my position. RiffRandell Oct 2013 #42

I don't think you went off track. Behind the Aegis Oct 2013 #48

Thank you. RiffRandell Oct 2013 #49

You are quite welcome. Behind the Aegis Oct 2013 #64

Trust me, I may take you up on it. RiffRandell Oct 2013 #75

It's times like this... opiate69 Oct 2013 #67

Your comment was perfect. RiffRandell Oct 2013 #74

Def a privilege. Look at the history of staying home. Levon Oct 2013 #50

. cyberswede Oct 2013 #51

"economically unproductive" is an overstatement. lumberjack_jeff Oct 2013 #52

I didn't say unproductive Levon Oct 2013 #58

I think you're misreading the industrial revolution. lumberjack_jeff Oct 2013 #61

Damn, I need to send my 7 year old daughter out to get a job! RiffRandell Oct 2013 #54

You misunderstand me Levon Oct 2013 #60

I think you are "cleverly" trying to understate the role of the stay at home parent ProudToBeBlueInRhody Oct 2013 #55

I used to be one Levon Oct 2013 #56

As opiate69 mentioned upthread... cyberswede Oct 2013 #59

Welcome to DU gopiscrap Oct 2013 #57

Apparently Bonobo Oct 2013 #62

You can tell them over and over it's just a baby ruth bar Warren DeMontague Oct 2013 #63

Now that's some fucking funny shit! opiate69 Oct 2013 #65

I love that movie. Warren DeMontague Oct 2013 #66

lol.. me too.. first time I ever got "heroically" baked, I watched it... opiate69 Oct 2013 #68

I watched it as a double feature with "Cheech and Chong's next movie" lumberjack_jeff Oct 2013 #72

LMAO! Behind the Aegis Oct 2013 #69

"Check Please!" Warren DeMontague Oct 2013 #70

How many couples have the luxury of one being able to stay home R. Daneel Olivaw Oct 2013 #73