Men's Group

Major Nikon

(36,917 posts)

25. What ever it is, people seem to come by it naturally

Thu Sep 6, 2012, 04:21 AM

Sep 2012

I don't believe it's something that has to be taught. Men learn that sex is a reward for "good behavior". Women learn that sex may be traded for power or other things. For whatever reason I was always extremely adverse to this. I always figured it essentially turned me into a john and the woman into a prostitute. I went through more than one relationship because I refused to allow sex to be used in this fashion. If a woman withheld consent for reasons that had nothing to do with sex or offered sex in exchange for something else, I was out. Fortunately I met my first and only wife who has never done this and never will.

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Why do we teach girls that they lose something with sex and men that they gain something? [View all] Bonobo Mar 2012 OP

Did you mean "use?" Or "lose?" Behind the Aegis Mar 2012 #1

Yes I did and just fixed it. Thanks. nt Bonobo Mar 2012 #2

There's a guy in my office who taught his daughters that their vagina is called a "cookie" Papagoose Mar 2012 #3

Extremely creepy. Warren DeMontague Mar 2012 #6

Cookie Monster must have terrified them! Fearless Mar 2012 #14

Property, property, property. bemildred Mar 2012 #4

From another devil's advocate playing perspective Broderick Mar 2012 #5

looking both historically and cross-culturally your explanation, really holds no water La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2012 #9

At one time, a woman's "virtue" was her only asset lumberjack_jeff Mar 2012 #10

It's the "purity ball" mentality Warren DeMontague Mar 2012 #7

At the risk of upsetting most of the participants in this topic, regarding the issue of ... radicalliberal Sep 2012 #27

One, you lost me at "the exploitative nature of casual sex" Warren DeMontague Sep 2012 #28

Forget it. radicalliberal Sep 2012 #30

If that's what you take away from what I wrote, you're wrong. Warren DeMontague Sep 2012 #31

Sorry, Warren....but I think you overreacted there ProudToBeBlueInRhody Sep 2012 #33

Its possible. Even i am not always right, i suppose. Warren DeMontague Sep 2012 #34

I'll have more later.... ProudToBeBlueInRhody Sep 2012 #35

I composed my post in the middle of the night when I should have been in bed. radicalliberal Sep 2012 #39

Then we agree on much. Warren DeMontague Sep 2012 #40

There's no need to apologize. radicalliberal Sep 2012 #42

Everyone should be allowed the respect of self determination. lumberjack_jeff Sep 2012 #43

"First, you don't know what boasting took place the next day in the [i]girls[/i] locker room, ..." radicalliberal Sep 2012 #44

Then welcome to oddball central. lumberjack_jeff Sep 2012 #45

Describing sex outside of marriage as 4th law of robotics Sep 2012 #29

Like I said, that post lost me at "the exploitative nature of casual sex" Warren DeMontague Sep 2012 #32

Sometimes? 4th law of robotics Sep 2012 #36

I think sex is something that can be enjoyed on a number of levels, sort of like Warren DeMontague Sep 2012 #37

It illustrated the entire point of my OP perfectly. Bonobo Sep 2012 #38

Because americans are all about assets, property and value. lumberjack_jeff Mar 2012 #8

Jeff, I think this phenomena goes way beyond America or Capitalism or even Western Civilization. Warren DeMontague Mar 2012 #11

Not to this degree. lumberjack_jeff Mar 2012 #12

That was kind of the same thing I was saying. Warren DeMontague Mar 2012 #13

No offense, but this is hardly just an "American" thing...It's in every patriarchal culture whathehell Apr 2012 #19

I think that this message to girls Tumbulu Mar 2012 #15

It was also to insure that men were not supporting another man's child.. whathehell May 2012 #21

because if she doesnt guard it Dokkie Apr 2012 #16

Just like Jack and Jill, mama told the sailor Warren DeMontague Apr 2012 #17

+1 nt Bonobo Apr 2012 #18

Great question...As a female, I often wondered about that myself and yes, it is the cause of a whathehell Apr 2012 #20

Except, often, it is women who are acting as the self appointed monitors of sexual purity Warren DeMontague Sep 2012 #22

For women who wish to use sex for personal gain 4th law of robotics Sep 2012 #23

Maybe, although like I said my own suspicion is that it's operating on a deeper, programmed level Warren DeMontague Sep 2012 #24

What ever it is, people seem to come by it naturally Major Nikon Sep 2012 #25

Sex with me is it's own reward. Warren DeMontague Sep 2012 #26

... Major Nikon Sep 2012 #41