Men's Group

Let me start with this statement: I don't "do porn". I never have. I think the last time I looked at a Penthouse or similar was probably the only time, when I was like 14 or 15 and some guy in school gave me one. I consider myself a pretty normal hetero male in terms of my libido, expectations, and viewpoints about sex. So my exposure to porn is pretty limited to what I hear, see, and read about it in the media and in pop culture. Personally, I have never found porn "necessary" in any way to have healthy, normal sexual experiences either with or without a partner. But in terms of porn as an industry, what I see I find rather disturbing on several levels.

First off, this question of "does it interfere with normal male functioning and normal relationships"?

I think it's pretty safe to say that, the vast majority of times men are looking at porn, the purpose is masturbation. I'm sure there are times when it is used to enhance intercourse, but I think that is pretty limited overall.

I think that masturbation is pretty "normal" for men of almost any age, and is a pretty healthy thing both psychologically and physiologically, in terms of stress reduction, in terms of maintaining proper hormone balances, and definitely, definitely in terms of reproductive health. For one thing, there is the "use it or lose it" factor to consider. But more importantly, there is a definite benefit in terms of reproductive health and reduced risk of prostate cancer in men who ejactulate frequently by whatever method, be it masturbation or intercourse. I found this in an article printed in the Journal of the American Medical Association:

Ejaculation frequency was examined in relation to risk of total prostate cancer (Table 2). In age- and multivariate-adjusted analyses, most categories of ejaculation frequency were unrelated to risk of total prostate cancer. However, a lower risk was observed in the highest category of ejaculation frequency. The multivariate RR for men reporting 21 or more ejaculations per month compared with men reporting between 4 and 7 ejaculations per month at ages 20 to 29 years was 0.89 (95% CI, 0.73-1.10); 40 to 49 years, 0.68 (95% CI, 0.53-0.86); in the prior year, 0.49 (95% CI, 0.27-0.88); and across a lifetime, 0.67 (95% CI, 0.51-0.89). When the entire range of ejaculation frequency was analyzed as a continuous variable in the multivariate model, each increment of 3 ejaculations per week across a lifetime was associated with a 15% (95% CI, 4%-24%) decrease in risk of total prostate cancer. However, there was a suggestive decreased risk of total prostate cancer observed among men in the lowest category of ejaculation frequency at ages 40 to 49 years and across a lifetime. The multivariate RR for men reporting 3 or less ejaculations per month compared with men reporting between 4 and 7 ejaculations per month across a lifetime was 0.89 (95% CI, 0.69-1.15).

http://jama.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=198487

All of that being said, and not having been in this position myself with a partner, so I really can't fully "get it", I wonder why so many partners find it threatening that a man engages in masturbation, with or without porn, while in a committed relationship? Is it just jealousy, or some perceived inadequacy in the eyes of the partner, that somehow they must not "measure up" in the mind of the man and therefore he is masturbating instead of having intercourse with the partner? I suspect that may be a lot of it, mixed in with a touch of the old "masturbation is sin and you'll go to Hell for it" Puritan/Victorian attitudes, which still dominate to some extent this society's views on about sex, about masturbation, and about commitment in relationships. I guess I find it a little sad that many men feel they have to hide this aspect of their sex lives from their partners, and that the partners feel it is something abnormal or even a bit depraved. I also think that education about what is "normal" for both men and women would go a long way towards helping both partners in this kind of situation have a much healthier psychological perspective about the situation.

Also, there is the question of what it does, psychologically and sexually, to men who do become "addicted" to it. I think it's safe to say that, for some men, it can be damaging, making them have those unrealistic standards and diminishing their ability to become aroused by normal, day to day lifetime experiences. I don't know how common this is, could be very common or not at all, it's not something that is really on my personal radar screen, certainly not for myself, and not in terms of the guys I know, either they don't do it or just don't talk about it.

Now, that all being said, I do have misgivings about the pornography industry, for all of the reasons stated in the article posted in the OP. I think for every sex industry/porn worker who feels that it is a liberating lifestyle choice, there are probably a dozen who are victimized, exploited, and psychologically damaged by becoming involved in it. And I do agree with some of the comments that suggest it creates an artificial standard of physical attributes for both women and men. Few of us in the real world look like the typical porn star, either male or female, from what I can tell. Also, from my very limited knowledge of this, I have the perception about porn that the scenarios/scenes are very, very contrived, and not at all "real world" which too may give rise to unrealistic expectations on the part of consumers of porn in terms of what situations they will find sexually satisfying. Face it, it would be great fun, no doubt, to own a Lamborghini or Rolls Royce, but most of us live in the Chevy/Ford/Dodge world, and lusting over something we can never have serves no good or useful purpose IMHO.

OK, finally, I fully support the rights of the people involved as both producers and consumers to do it. I have a belief about illegal drugs that keeping them banned doesn't diminish the supply or demand at all, just drives it underground and creates whole new levels of problems. I think it would be so much better to simply legalize, tax, and regulate them in a responsible manner, much as we try to do with alcohol. I don't do illegal drugs, and I don't drink. Period. For some, those things can be used responsible. For others, they destroy lives, which is sad. But, I don't think we should be in a position to try to regulate either morality or "stupidity" -- if someone wants to kill themselves with cocaine or whatever, as long as it's not affecting society as a whole, well, I say it's their business and their problem, should they want help out of the downward spiral I think all resources should be made available to them. And it's the same with the porn industry or users, if they choose to engage in this, even if it destroys them, it is their choice, whether the rest of us like it or not. Banning it will just drive it underground and ultimately make it worse for all involved. Keeping it legal at least gives our society and government some say in terms of regulation in how the people involved are treated. And I think that is the best we can do.