Men's Group

Certainly if it helps YOU to get it off your chest here, by all means do so. And I think the discussion could be a good one for this group.

I also know DU has a mental health support group, which is to say that in addition to discussing here you might find people with knowledge or experience pertaining to some of the stuff you mention, there as well. I dont know, maybe you've already brought it up there, and I dont mention this to be, like, "oh, take it to mental health" --- I just want to be sure that you have every opportunity to get in touch with anyone who might be able to help and/or sympathize.

My relationship with my own Dad, who is now deceased, could probably be summed up by the word "distant". He was a raging alcoholic, but being the youngest I missed most of the worst of it. He was possibly physically abusive to my mom on at least a couple occasions, for obvious reasons i've never sat down and discussed it with her in any detail, but that seems to be the case. What I remember from my early childhood is a lot of fighting and screaming. Or he'd be gone, come back, and after a brief period of relative "normalcy" fall off the wagon and the cycle would start over. Then, finally, he was gone for good, and my overwhelming feeling from that development was relief.

I personally escaped most of the fallout, screaming, etc. simply by virtue of being so young. But I do think it caused me to close up and be a far more withdrawn, introverted, afraid kid than I might have been otherwise.

He sobered up a few years after that, and we maintained a friendly, if not exactly close, relationship for the rest of his life. Knowing what I know about alcoholism, it is difficult for me to draw a line on exactly where "blame" begins and ends. Plus, he's gone now, so what's the point? I have no doubt in my mind that one of his first mistakes - and my mom's - was getting married way too young, and for probably not much more reason than "we cant really think of anything else to to with ourselves right now" ...But, then, my sitting here writing this is a product of that, so, go figure.