Men's Group

many if not all of these women were abused, molested, and raped as children and/or young adults.

So yes, that kind of abusive upbringing does warrant empathy and compassion. Their suffering, fear, and pain is very real.

However, when the adult, instead of resolving and healing the past, turns it into a philosophy of revenge and rage, then no, I can have no sympathy for that way of being. It is destructive and as violent mentally and emotionally as what was experienced. It is the abused become a passive aggressive psychological abuser.

They are projecting unfinished psychological business on any man they can find. If the hook doesn't stick, then they provoke such a response so that it will. All of us, men or women, have been around such people in our adult lives. They are constantly looking for a fight. Call it a chip on their shoulder. Call it hyper-vigilance. There is an expectation, though quite unconscious, that having been victimized horribly by a man, that it will always happen. Therefore all men with a penis have that weapon of abuse, shame, and fear. So even if you do not want to fight back, once attacked repeatedly, it is quite natural to begin to defend. Then that defense is seen as proof of their certainty that all men are violent, sexist, misogynistic, abusive, part of the 'rape culture', etc.

I do my best to avoid their provocation by avoiding as much as possible interactions with such women, however, as it is really no different than bullying, I rarely tolerate it if I have no choice but to relate to them, say at work or school.