Men's Group

I live in Japan, as you know.

One of the things that I love about it is that boys and men touch each other a lot more than in the US.

It also makes me sad because it is so hard for me. It makes me self-conscious and uncomfortable even though I want to be able to share this form of closeness.

It really surprised me, but it is so beautiful. To see 14 year old boys, friends, sit un-selfconsciously with ones head leaning against a friend's shoulder... For a man to hug you from behind to show affection... As an American man, it really made me feel how much we are missing and how victimized we are by society's shackles.

Women talk about their shackles and yes, I know they exist. But it seems to me that in many ways they are more free. Free to dress in dress or pants, free to wear makeup or not, free to wait to be approached by a man or to make the moves herself, free to find a career or (more likely than a man anyway) to try to find a partner to support her, free to devote herself to her children -or not, free to show emotions without being reproached, etc.

I am sure their answer would be that it is the Patriarchy setting the rules and therefore "you did it to yourself"...sort of blaming the victim if you ask me.

Anyway, I see this as strongly related to male homophobia.