LGBT

yardwork

(65,715 posts)

18. I was 45 and married when I told my mother.

Tue Apr 24, 2012, 07:30 PM

Apr 2012

First I told her that I had decided to leave my marriage. She was understanding. Then I told her why - because I had realized that I'm gay. Long silence. Then she said, "I wouldn't have thought of that."

And that was that. She lives near me now. She's nice to my partner. Never said a word against me for being gay. She doesn't mention it to her family or friends, though. That bugs me a little. Still, I was married for a long time and maybe she just doesn't want to get into everything. She's told them that I'm divorced and left it at that. I have very little contact with most of my extended family because they're conservatives.

My husband was very kind. He didn't want to believe me at first. He wanted me to stay. He thought it was a phase. After I moved out he found somebody new and now he's remarried. We all get along well.

My kids were relieved to learn that it wasn't something they did that split up their dad and me. I became a kind of minor celebrity among their friends for a while.

My father died some years ago. I don't know how he would have reacted.

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When did you come out to your family? [View all] William769 Apr 2012 OP

I'm curious to know (I am straight) were family members generally supportive for those that teddy51 Apr 2012 #1

Mother very supportive. William769 Apr 2012 #2

I have a very good friend who is gay (2 boys in family) and his brother is also gay. teddy51 Apr 2012 #3

That makes it tough, sorry about that. n/t teddy51 Apr 2012 #4

Dad didn't talk to me for a week, but now we are closer than ever. It's such a generational thing. GodlessBiker Apr 2012 #5

You really think it boils down to a generational thing? hmm interesting. n/t teddy51 Apr 2012 #6

Well, I think a dad now tends to, not always, but tends to handle it better than my WW2 dad. GodlessBiker Apr 2012 #7

there are 600,000 homeless lgbt kids in this country who were kicked out by their loving parents johnnypneumatic Apr 2012 #14

Yes, and no - but not for the obvious reasons. Ms. Toad Apr 2012 #24

My dad was supportive, although he asked a couple of times if I was "sure". knowledgeispwr Apr 2012 #35

Soon after turning 18. closeupready Apr 2012 #8

I was outed. Behind the Aegis Apr 2012 #9

Mom flipped out and I had to leave home at 2am with a suitcase HillWilliam Apr 2012 #10

"for me he made that remark in front of the probate judge... who just happened to be gay." lol teddy51 Apr 2012 #11

To His Honor's credit HillWilliam Apr 2012 #12

My daughter came out to me when she was 19. murielm99 Apr 2012 #13

I never did, although they surely know johnnypneumatic Apr 2012 #15

There have been times in my life when closeupready Apr 2012 #17

A very common and relatable story no doubt! Fearless Apr 2012 #20

I could have written parts of that post myself :( Zenlitened Apr 2012 #21

thanks for understanding johnnypneumatic Apr 2012 #23

At large family gatherings, and other social occasions.... Vanje Apr 2012 #28

Just wondering... Zenlitened May 2012 #37

I just got back home on wednesday johnnypneumatic May 2012 #38

Great to hear. Zenlitened May 2012 #39

I was married at the time... Not Me Apr 2012 #16

I was 45 and married when I told my mother. yardwork Apr 2012 #18

I told them when I entered into a promising meaningful long term relationship Fearless Apr 2012 #19

So, if I could share a story teenagebambam Apr 2012 #22

That's my kind of mom! marginlized Apr 2012 #30

I came out in my mid-30's dbackjon Apr 2012 #25

My "friend" and I were staying @ my parents Vanje Apr 2012 #26

Moms gotta love them! William769 Apr 2012 #27

I came out to my mom at 35. motely36 Apr 2012 #29

I would be curious to know the ages of those who reply. beyurslf Apr 2012 #31

Came out to friends in High School marginlized Apr 2012 #32

They told me TrogL Apr 2012 #33

I Came Out to my Mother at 19 RetiredTrotskyite Apr 2012 #34

I'm now 56 and came out the first time at 16 dickthegrouch Apr 2012 #36

there never was a coming out event, Once I came home wearing a "gay Liberation " button mitchtv May 2012 #40

When I was 19 Occulus May 2012 #41

I'm so sorry. That sucks Vanje May 2012 #42