Feminists

redqueen

(115,183 posts)

69. Well... she used the term 'grilling'... which

Thu Feb 9, 2012, 05:23 PM

Feb 2012

I took to mean that rather than explore why Sera might think her partner's views were not what others were saying, there were just questions of 'do you agree'... and I was suspicious of the "FAAB" with no intuitive reason to think she was anything but, but then I realized that she had been thought to be a male troll before, so that also might be a reason to hold back on the suspicion / accusations.

So although there were questions, they seemed to be the kind that were asked more in the spirit of looking for a confirmation of what the questioner expects to hear, rather than an open request for an explanation.

e.g. "Your partner said x, which I took to mean x... that was offensive to me. Can you explain why they said it or what they meant by that?"

Cannot edit, recommend, or reply in locked discussions

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

199 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

Hello My Sisters! [View all] Sera_Bellum Feb 2012 OP

hey.... you. i am glad to see you back. seabeyond Feb 2012 #1

Hello Sea! Sera_Bellum Feb 2012 #2

Welcome back. redqueen Feb 2012 #3

I don't understand this phrase Female Assigned At Birth. Why do you identify this way? yardwork Feb 2012 #4

Why not? Sera_Bellum Feb 2012 #13

That was my experience too, but I don't identify as Female Assigned at Birth. That's why I'm asking. yardwork Feb 2012 #18

Hello again. Sera_Bellum Feb 2012 #20

I don't understand. Other people have identified what for you? yardwork Feb 2012 #24

since we are expected to understand the termonology, and i am trying to learn seabeyond Feb 2012 #33

It's quoted in this thread. See the link here: yardwork Feb 2012 #36

Uh oh... is it because of me? redqueen Feb 2012 #38

ya. nt seabeyond Feb 2012 #58

really? female assigned at birth? La Lioness Priyanka Feb 2012 #5

Maybe Intersexed? nt justiceischeap Feb 2012 #6

Oh! Maybe that's it. I await an explanation. yardwork Feb 2012 #7

what is intersexed, please? nt seabeyond Feb 2012 #34

Google is your friend: yardwork Feb 2012 #39

hey... i googled cisgender. nt seabeyond Feb 2012 #59

Intersex resource MadrasT Feb 2012 #46

thank you... nt seabeyond Feb 2012 #62

I found the following about the "faab" acronym justiceischeap Feb 2012 #8

hi Sera_Bellum Feb 2012 #10

Hi back, just trying to understand. justiceischeap Feb 2012 #11

Ok great! Sera_Bellum Feb 2012 #14

"Discussing leading to understanding is a grand idea." redqueen Feb 2012 #16

me too. i like discussing. i like understanding. good stuff. nt seabeyond Feb 2012 #37

So, if you identify as female through and through why are you misusing faab? justiceischeap Feb 2012 #84

I was wondering that, too obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #85

Then you are not "FAAB" obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #45

Why Sera_Bellum Feb 2012 #9

yes, but your partner basically blamed transpeople for misogyny and you are here La Lioness Priyanka Feb 2012 #12

"congratulations on being cisgender. its nothing special. 99% of people are." redqueen Feb 2012 #15

Hello. Sera_Bellum Feb 2012 #17

and in my opinion, your claiming to be FAAB and defending it La Lioness Priyanka Feb 2012 #19

Hello again. Sera_Bellum Feb 2012 #21

i am not placing words, i am at best placing intent La Lioness Priyanka Feb 2012 #22

Hello. Sera_Bellum Feb 2012 #23

no, not really. in the context of du, your identification cannot have bigotry at its root La Lioness Priyanka Feb 2012 #26

I certainly have Sera_Bellum Feb 2012 #30

its analogous to being proud about things in a bigoted way. nt La Lioness Priyanka Feb 2012 #31

What is a "born woman?" Transgender males to females are "born women" too. yardwork Feb 2012 #43

Not on DU. For instance, it is against the rules to identify as Republican here. yardwork Feb 2012 #27

Not really, and for two reasons obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #51

She didn't obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #48

Welcome back maddezmom Feb 2012 #25

Thank you. Sera_Bellum Feb 2012 #28

do you consider women who were male at birth as women? La Lioness Priyanka Feb 2012 #29

That is a good question. Thanks! Sera_Bellum Feb 2012 #35

okay, let me ask you this. do you agree with your partners remarks? maddezmom Feb 2012 #32

Hello again. Sera_Bellum Feb 2012 #40

then could you give me your interpretation? maddezmom Feb 2012 #49

You just did speak for your partner, in your OP. I quote: yardwork Feb 2012 #47

Gosh, excellent point, Yardie! obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #54

I know a way to resolve this. Sera_Bellum Feb 2012 #57

hahaha obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #65

I don't see that happening. But could you offer your interpretation of her comments? maddezmom Feb 2012 #86

You were asked YOUR opinion obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #52

Does anybody see a pattern here? n/t TriMera Feb 2012 #41

yeah a pattern called transphobia. La Lioness Priyanka Feb 2012 #42

Yes, but there's more to it. n/t TriMera Feb 2012 #44

I see 2 + 2 + 2 = 6. yardwork Feb 2012 #50

Yes, it is that clear. TriMera Feb 2012 #55

really? is that a promise? n/t Scout Feb 2012 #149

? La Lioness Priyanka Feb 2012 #156

"i am so done with this shit." Scout Feb 2012 #157

sorry to disappoint. wait, no i am not. glad, i am annoying you by staying. nt La Lioness Priyanka Feb 2012 #158

yes -- obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #53

What would that be? redqueen Feb 2012 #64

I see three patterns repeating themselves. My metaphor for this is 2 + 2 + 2 = 6. yardwork Feb 2012 #66

I see a pattern here iverglas Feb 2012 #164

Is that what you see? TriMera Feb 2012 #165

spit the mealies out of your mouth iverglas Feb 2012 #167

Most people are talking about Sera_Bellum, who was previously banned muriel_volestrangler Feb 2012 #168

and to be fair, in a thread in another forum they are stating, possibly implying only seabeyond Feb 2012 #169

they're stating it pretty fucking clearly iverglas Feb 2012 #170

ya, well, my memory thought so, but i didnt want to fabricate or misrepresent or LIE...... seabeyond Feb 2012 #171

muriel is right. This is not about you. TriMera Feb 2012 #173

you would break the rules by having a sock puppet doesn't surprise me seabeyond Feb 2012 #174

Read it again. I never accused her of having a sock puppet. TriMera Feb 2012 #177

no.... you jsut said no wonder people would think you have a sock puppet because of seabeyond Feb 2012 #179

They're not accusations if they are proven. TriMera Feb 2012 #180

there is no proof remember me is a sock puppet for iverglas. is there? did i miss something? nt seabeyond Feb 2012 #181

Yes, you did. I am not a part of that conversation. TriMera Feb 2012 #182

she added EDIT on the post. not like she was hiding it, or say, being sneaking and manipulative seabeyond Feb 2012 #183

Do you see my name in that thread? TriMera Feb 2012 #185

why are you here? iverglas Feb 2012 #184

I guess I would like to know why it is TriMera Feb 2012 #186

what "situation"? iverglas Feb 2012 #187

You know what? TriMera Feb 2012 #190

yup, I know what. iverglas Feb 2012 #191

start wherever you want iverglas Feb 2012 #175

In the spirit of Sera Bellum... +1 n/t justiceischeap Feb 2012 #176

Thank you for this excellent, pithy summary of the events. Well stated. yardwork Feb 2012 #178

made it thru half the thread pretty ok. made it thru the rest of the thread and getting seabeyond Feb 2012 #56

Hello Sea Sera_Bellum Feb 2012 #60

You're playing right into the pattern, seabeyond. No disrespect intended. n/t TriMera Feb 2012 #61

+1 obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #67

Thank you. I'm not trying to be cryptic... TriMera Feb 2012 #93

Yup obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #97

So you're saying that we shouldn't ask for clarity? We should just reach our own conclusions? yardwork Feb 2012 #63

Well... she used the term 'grilling'... which redqueen Feb 2012 #69

I can only speak for myself. I have been careful not to say that anything is offensive to me. yardwork Feb 2012 #76

You don't have to tell me... redqueen Feb 2012 #77

Thank you. yardwork Feb 2012 #80

Very well put, Yardwork obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #90

yeah, I've learned a lot on this subject recently as well maddezmom Feb 2012 #68

and there are lesbians and gays who are as well La Lioness Priyanka Feb 2012 #70

agreed maddezmom Feb 2012 #73

Jesus Christ... really? redqueen Feb 2012 #75

Yes. In recent days I have received heartbreaking PMs from some transgender people. yardwork Feb 2012 #78

I know for a fact it's not well-understood. redqueen Feb 2012 #87

I was clueless, too. And so are many gay and lesbian people. Being gay doesn't mean we understand. yardwork Feb 2012 #89

Or how many transgendered posters there are obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #92

Yeah, I learned that just yesterday myself. redqueen Feb 2012 #72

I learned a few years ago that Gloria Steinem had achieved some long-lasting notoriety Starry Messenger Feb 2012 #82

Read your article. moriah Feb 2012 #160

i have a kid to get back to. i will come back to this subthread, later. nt seabeyond Feb 2012 #71

You also kinda just really insulted MTF obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #74

everything can be discussed on DU.... steer friggin do do.... seabeyond Feb 2012 #79

I actually wrote you a very nice, well meaning post obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #94

I've started to write this, deleted, then started again several times. Please don't curse. yardwork Feb 2012 #103

no cursing either? last night i read a poster tell a host of feminist she couldnt use vampire seabeyond Feb 2012 #108

I think that there has been too much cursing AT people in this forum lately.That's all I'm saying. yardwork Feb 2012 #115

lol. gotcha. nt seabeyond Feb 2012 #118

+10,000 La Lioness Priyanka Feb 2012 #81

I've seen that claim before, that they are born with male privilege... redqueen Feb 2012 #83

this is probably fairly accurate. nt La Lioness Priyanka Feb 2012 #88

Right, and an additional layer is they are despised by some straight men obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #95

Very well said. yardwork Feb 2012 #104

About that male privilege... here's the thing... redqueen Feb 2012 #91

And I'd like to point out... that those with male privilege can be staunch feminists justiceischeap Feb 2012 #96

good point La Lioness Priyanka Feb 2012 #99

Good points obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #101

and there are feminist that are adament that a male cannot be a feminist. there are feminist that seabeyond Feb 2012 #102

are there really feminists who believe republicans dont treat their women well? La Lioness Priyanka Feb 2012 #109

yes. i get that they are different. hence, me choosing the words i did. seabeyond Feb 2012 #111

Yes, there's a perception that some anti-woman behaviors only exist on *that* side of the aisle. redqueen Feb 2012 #113

redqueen. i am not advocating or suggesting or arguing anything. i am too unfamiliar with the seabeyond Feb 2012 #98

I would be disappointed if you dropped out of this conversation. yardwork Feb 2012 #106

i was not cursing... at her. i was cursing. steer friggin do do.... is saying no way. seabeyond Feb 2012 #112

Ok. That's cool. yardwork Feb 2012 #116

Yes, I see that side of it too... redqueen Feb 2012 #107

I like your thinking and I agree with your points. yardwork Feb 2012 #110

I agree completely. redqueen Feb 2012 #114

Exactly! yardwork Feb 2012 #117

I really urge people to read Jenny Boylan's book obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #100

The book Stone Butch Blues really opened my eyes. yardwork Feb 2012 #105

As usual Texasgal Feb 2012 #119

FAAB = female-assigned at birth redqueen Feb 2012 #120

I think the whole sexuality came up because of the FAAB acronym justiceischeap Feb 2012 #122

FAAB appears to be VERY rarely used obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #128

Yes, that's the only way I've seen it used before organically... redqueen Feb 2012 #153

lol texas seabeyond Feb 2012 #121

Just wanted to bring this to everyone's attention maddezmom Feb 2012 #123

Thanks for posting that. One of the posts that remains alludes to "born woman." yardwork Feb 2012 #124

Just to clarify that for everyone - Sera_Bellum also was "IttakesaVillage_People" muriel_volestrangler Feb 2012 #125

correct, thanks for the clarification maddezmom Feb 2012 #127

This message was self-deleted by its author seabeyond Feb 2012 #130

And was homophobic and transphobic and used an "FAAB"-type slur obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #129

I want to make sure that I understand this correctly: yardwork Feb 2012 #131

That's how I read it... TeeYiYi Feb 2012 #132

And, I bet, also Kitty Herding obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #133

Yes, I think so, plus TAPat was TakesAVillage_People's partner muriel_volestrangler Feb 2012 #134

OT (but not really): Check out the documentary "Catfish" justiceischeap Feb 2012 #135

That's how I'm reading this too. Starry Messenger Feb 2012 #136

Well, there's the whole damn problem right there. I mean. Really. yardwork Feb 2012 #137

Yup... TeeYiYi Feb 2012 #140

Whoa obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #126

my head is spinning... boston bean Feb 2012 #138

I also find the first sentence in the OP odd obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #139

I know. The 3 faces of eve... TeeYiYi Feb 2012 #141

And Jimmy on "Seinfeld" obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #142

...and Jimmy... TeeYiYi Feb 2012 #144

Dick Nixon used to refer to himself as Dick Nixon. yardwork Feb 2012 #147

Oh yeah... TeeYiYi Feb 2012 #143

Don't forget, Sybil was recently exposed as a fake. justiceischeap Feb 2012 #145

I read the "expose" book obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #146

Something to read during your morning coffee break obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #148

i remember that. i stayed out of it. but, i kinda liked that argument. seabeyond Feb 2012 #150

Weird... TeeYiYi Feb 2012 #151

Is Feldspar claiming to be Weightlifting Lady in that thread? yardwork Feb 2012 #152

Unclear... TeeYiYi Feb 2012 #154

I don't know -- I just thought the thread was interesting obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #155

I share your interest. Very interested, I am. yardwork Feb 2012 #159

It is ironic, isn't it. :) nt justiceischeap Feb 2012 #161

no, i think they are saying they know weightlifting lady La Lioness Priyanka Feb 2012 #162

I agree. If it's the weightlifting lady I know, then this poster is not her. yardwork Feb 2012 #163

Yes. Vanje Feb 2012 #166

did anybody happen to notice this bit? iverglas Feb 2012 #172

I have read this thread with Remember Me Feb 2012 #188

Hosts are limited in what we can do. laconicsax Feb 2012 #189

actually, hosts can ban users at whim iverglas Feb 2012 #192

There's a big difference between can and should. laconicsax Feb 2012 #193

And mine wasn't? Remember Me Feb 2012 #194

and now the OP has been PPR'd maddezmom Feb 2012 #195

Whoa obamanut2012 Feb 2012 #196

Glad to see that EarlG made the correct decision on this one. n/t justiceischeap Feb 2012 #197

This message was self-deleted by its author Remember Me Feb 2012 #198

the OP poster has been tos'ed. nt seabeyond Feb 2012 #199