Feminists

a woundedness I can empathize with, as I wrote upthread.

If I were lesbian, I could easily have been or be a separatist, and in fact REALLY prefer having some space in my life where men simply aren't, whether it's a knitting group or some online space. I've not in the past been overly welcoming to men here on the feminist group, and that's why -- I believe strongly in private space which can be for women only, yes, even from men who fully support our goals.

Women-only is clearly not going to happen here at DU, but that doesn't mean I will stop wishing it would. If people want to fault me for having my own parttime "separatist" sensibilities, they are free to. I don't think people can get it about how having men in a space DOES change the energy of a space until they've experienced it until they get it themselves. The presence of men doesn't make it inferior or worse or bad, and it's not about how men are bad or anything else, it's just that the energy is definitely different. Not wanting to have to be in that energy everywhere you are at all times unless you are alone in your house by yourself, LOL, is not a unreasonable goal. I certainly won't press it here, but ... well, I can dream, can't I?

I'll say something more. When I was active in N.O.W., we were glad to have male members, especially if they were willing and interested in participating. But DAMN if they didn't -- ALWAYS and without exception that I know of, not just where I was but in many other places around the country-- try to step in and tell us what to do and how to do it or otherwise try to run things. And if you tried to tell them, gently and sweetly, that they should let US be the leaders and do the organizing in our own group, they were offended and took a lot of time and energy with all those unnecessary and usually divisive dramas (because most of them were there because of wife/mother/girlfriend/sister who loved them and didn't want them hurt). So I got thoroughly over-sensitized to that whole issue early on.