Feminists

if some of what was clear to you was actually decided among at least the hosts, and preferably the entire group, up front rather than on the fly.

Some people clearly thought the off site discussions were confidential (and got upset when they were disclosed). On a completely open forum the conversations were literally not confidential, regardless of whether anyone thought they were or not.

Aside from that disconnect between reality and expectations, confidentiality of decision making discussions has a range of flavors. If there is confidentiality at all, it is probably a good idea to decide whether to report out JUST the decision, a decision + an agreed upon explanation, a decision + everyone is free to share their own opinion, etc.

And - it seems to me that some people in the forum have concerns about private conversations at all.

Without rehashing what happened this time more than is necessary to identify gaps in expectations, it seems to me it would be good to try to do a little planning up front to avoid such misunderstandings in the future. Unless you think all of this chaos and emotion have been good for this group or for DU.