Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

kdmorris

(5,649 posts)
17. I tend to talk less when there are all men in the room
Sun Sep 23, 2012, 11:37 AM
Sep 2012

but that's mainly because I feel outnumbered. Most of the time in my job, you end up with 50-50 men/women and the women definitely talk more.

I remember one situation where I was the only woman in the room. There were 6 men and me. One of the men was a complete asshole anyway, and known for saying stupid, offensive things. At one point, we were discussing whether to put something into the product and this asshole told me "If you put that in your specs, I'll bitchslap you". I immediately reacted with "Excuse me?". He was laughing hysterically at "the look on my face". I told him that it's not even close to funny and if he didn't stop laughing I would report him to HR. He stopped laughing, but I felt VERY alone. All of the other 5 men looked uncomfortable, like they wished they could find a hold to crawl into, but only one of them (the new guy) came to my defense and all he said was "Dude, that's not cool to talk to her like that".

I decided at that point that we all needed to take a break and went to tell my boss. This guy did get fired a year later, but I doubt it was because of me.

When I'm in a large group of men like that now, I don't really feel threatened, but I do feel like they think I'm kind of "pushy" because I refuse to not speak. But less than 75% of how much I talk in a mixed group is probably about right.

Not this one! bunnies Sep 2012 #1
All the more reasons tama Sep 2012 #2
but I turtle up due to likely consequences zazen Sep 2012 #3
This, especially-- Starry Messenger Sep 2012 #5
Post removed Post removed Sep 2012 #9
You are in the wrong place making nasty generalized statements about feminists. nt stevenleser Sep 2012 #12
(Not) TrueBlue has had a pizza delivered. Zorra Sep 2012 #19
LOL! Isn't this forum a place of making generalized statements about men? yeswehavenobananas Dec 2012 #25
You seem to have a mistaken impression of what DU is about. DU is not about engaging right wingers stevenleser Dec 2012 #26
And guess what, Sparky? oh reiki ur so fine Dec 2012 #31
You are attacking a posit that I never made, Library girl. DU mail me from your next incarnation... stevenleser Dec 2012 #32
Female group assertiveness, ethnicity and female/male rations kurt_cagle Sep 2012 #4
I have witnessed this TexasProgresive Sep 2012 #6
Thanks TexasProgresive. Starry Messenger Sep 2012 #7
Well I didn't until I was in listening mode. TexasProgresive Sep 2012 #8
Equality TrueBlue2012 Sep 2012 #10
As the saying goes, ya ain't gotta go home, but you can't stay here. nt stevenleser Sep 2012 #13
Unfortunately, the jury came up 3-3 but this troll has been MIRTED. nt stevenleser Sep 2012 #14
Thanks to MIRt. yardwork Sep 2012 #15
Emilyg, is that you? yardwork Sep 2012 #18
This is why whenever I am in a meeting and there are women not speaking up or being talked over stevenleser Sep 2012 #11
That's good! Often women have something important to contribute. yardwork Sep 2012 #16
I tend to talk less when there are all men in the room kdmorris Sep 2012 #17
I worked in a medium-sized company where most of the professionals and managers were women. Gormy Cuss Sep 2012 #20
"They're groomed for assertiveness since birth" is true of a lot of men, but not all... YoungDemCA Nov 2012 #21
As a former Union Rep Jasana Nov 2012 #22
That's been my experience too. Starry Messenger Nov 2012 #23
i have taken note sigmasix Nov 2012 #24
I am happy to say that is not the case at my university. Deep13 Dec 2012 #27
I'm speechless around women Eyes of the World Dec 2012 #28
Yes, their lungs are bigger, that one tends to get me; elleng Dec 2012 #29
I've had two different situations in school. no_hypocrisy Dec 2012 #30
Latest Discussions»Alliance Forums»Feminists»Women Speak Drastically L...»Reply #17